I have a lot of writing to do, and I sense that soon I’ll be like Gregalicious with nubs for fingers and little time to post. A writer must always negotiate for time because, sad to say, VERY FEW people understand how time-consuming writing can be. It’s amazing some of the things people expect you to do because they just don’t get that you HAVE A JOB, even if you’re your own boss and you’re not making boatloads of money. (It’s even more amazing how money is the single most important standard a lot of people have for defining what is work. Whatever.) There are always hurt feelings from unanswered phone calls and e-mails, postponed and missed meetings–enh, it’s a hazard of the profession. I do my best, and that’s all I can do.
There are a lot of things I don’t do when I go into full-on writing mode. I watch even less TV (though that hardly seems possible). I see no clients. I stop reading as much news, because it agitates me and keeps me in this world when I need to be getting lost in whatever world I’m creating. I confine my book-reading time to little fragments, mostly in bed before I fall asleep.
When I do take breaks, I feel like I should be doing something constructive. Like this.
Yeah. That’d be Christmas presents I’ve been buying for the past five months and started wrapping on Friday. I’m determined that I’ll do this a little at a time while I’m writing these novels. That way, by the time Thanksgiving comes, I’ll not only have turned in two manuscripts, but I’ll be FINISHED with my Christmas stuff. I dare to dream that I could have a relatively stress-free December. We’ll see.
Another thing I cut out is reading most of the blogs that I enjoy. It’s for the best. Friday, one of those blogs linked me to someone who linked me to someone who’s an aspiring writer. We’ll call him A.W. Oh, the things A.W. had to say about the evil of people who’ve been published. Did you know that published authors have HUGE egos and must “know someone” because nearly everything being published is CRAP, unlike his own original, brilliant, and imaginative manuscripts? The ones he’s never finished? Never submitted? Never let anyone rip to shreds?
Maybe A.W. is a great writer. If so, I hope he has what it takes to persist until he gets published, because then maybe he will learn humility. It’s a virtue the world will gladly help an author achieve. Here are a few examples off the top of my head.
Most of us don’t know anyone when we’re starting out. We don’t have any “ins” at publishing houses. There are no editors beating down our doors. We’re lucky if we can find one or two FRIENDS willing to read our stuff, much less professionals. Finally, we get something in decent shape and send it into the world to agents or editors and we get, oh, let’s say SIXTY-FIVE rejections before someone says, “Sure, I’ll read it. It beats counting holes in ceiling tiles while I’m lying in this body cast.”
Once a manuscript is accepted, we may never even meet our agent or editor in person. No one holds our hands through the writing and publishing process. We get a contract that scares the shit out of us and makes very little sense. If we’re lucky, we’ve met some other writers along the way who can talk us through it, or we have a couple of attorney friends who’ll read everything over for us–pro bono, because we went broke on copies and postage somewhere around Rejection No. 40.
Then there’s the first time you see your book cover and say, “What the fuck?”
Are you Stephen King? Anne Rice? No? Then you get the cover you get. Some covers you hate, some you love. One night you take the time to go to another author’s signing because you want to be supportive, and you hear him mock the kinds of covers your books have and dismiss your work based on those covers. THAT’S a golden moment in your career.
Then there’s the time you discover a bookstore in your home state that has a web site that features authors who’re from there. You write them an e-mail and introduce yourself and your books and give your credentials and thank them for all the ways they support and promote authors. You wonder if you can be included on the web site, too, because you’ve now written or co-written five novels and you do hail from their great state. After a few days, you get a terse reply that lets you know that you don’t quite meet some unlisted and unknowable standards, so no, you won’t be seeing your name or your work on their site. Ooooo-kay.
There will be people who will buy your books but won’t read them. People who won’t buy your books but will tell you what you should be writing instead. People who buy your books and love them but tell you which things you did wrong and what you should write next. Family members who wouldn’t be caught dead reading your books because “they’re gay.” Or they’re “that romance shit.” People you went to college with who wouldn’t even spit on your books because they’re not LITERATURE. Family members who roll their eyes when you give your books in hard-to-obtain hardcovers as gifts, then do who knows what with them–it definitely doesn’t entail actually reading them.
And the reviews! You can get twenty glowing ones, but the ones that replay in your mind while you’re trying to fall asleep are those that damn you with faint praise or just all-out loathe your book and don’t hesitate to state that you’re a talentless hack. And they, TOO, tell you what you should have written. Plus they compare you to Will and Grace which for the LAST FUCKING TIME IS A TELEVISION SITCOM, NOT A NOVEL.
Then you get your first royalty statement. HA HA HA. Okay, eventually, there COULD be a royalty check when you’ve earned back your advance and all the returns have been counted and a book club (THANK YOU INSIGHTOUT BOOKS) buys your title. If you happen to have written a book with one to four other authors, your check gets split that many ways after your agent takes her percentage, so wealth will NOT be a barrier to humility. And no matter what? The royalty statement will be as daunting and bewildering as your contract was–even worse, because it has a bunch of numbers instead of words.
A big ego may come to those who are feted in New York as the hot new thing in novel writing, but for the rest of us, humility is far more obtainable. And that is why every bookseller who speaks well of your book, every reader who takes the time to write you something positive, every family member who loves what you wrote and tells you so, every person who comes to a signing, everyone who reads your book in a public place so that other people see the (maligned) cover, every editor who takes a moment to tell you what’s RIGHT with your novel, every agent who regrets that she can’t get you a little more money, and every fellow writer who encourages you and commiserates with you is a GEM to be cherished and taken out during a rough moment so you can say, “Shiny!”
But even without those gems, you would still love what you do beyond all reason and would never want to be told that what meager success you have is because you “know somebody.” And no matter who it upsets, the truth is that it’s well worth the things you gave up and the people whose feelings got a little hurt along the way because you can’t help it, you HAVE TO DO IT or you’ll lose your soul.
Good luck to you, A.W., and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I love doing what I do, and I hope you do, too.
I know I haven’t said it often enough, so: I enjoy your books, they always make my day brighter, and thank you for everything you’ve written (and for helping me end up ‘written’ too).
You’ve always been WAY supportive of all the various T-T-J-B writers, and I appreciate it more than I can ever express.
I had to share parts of this with a friend of mine who is writing his first book. We both laughed knowing how true it is.
Maybe I should do a similar post on being an artist.
Oh, and I can’t say enough how much I enjoy your books. Those foolish relatives that roll their eyes, I need to find where they are stashing those prized copies.
and each publishing experience can be so different. Some take literally years of editing, and talking, just to get it out there. I am glad you posted this. It’s not an easy area you all work in. Lots of ups and downs. You work hard for your work, and it’s because you love it that you do it.
Ah, Becky, such a doll, and so well said.
But you forgot my personal pet peeve–the ‘friends’ who think you should GIVE them a free copy of the book, and when you say, “You should buy one”–then have the nerve to laugh and say, “You make what, fifty cents on every book? You can afford to give me fifty cents.”
Incidentally, those are the same friends who would never in a million years offer their professional expertise to you for free.
After all, writing isn’t work.
Brilliant! Perfect!
–Famous Author Rob Byrnes
i liked that.
and i esp. liked your frequent use of the word ‘fuck.’ it’s just necessary sometimes.
I LOVE that user pic!!! DO you have Charles Nelson Reilly or Gene Rayburn one?? LOL
ha! i don’t have either of the boys, but my buddy, rio3001 has charles.
i just used the lj icon creator (or whatever it’s called) to make this one of brett. 🙂
I get most of mine via google image search.
As Katherine Hepburn would say…”You are a damn fine author!”
I of course fixated on the fact that you are doing your present shopping all year. I am so proud of you and think that is so trippy. I love it!
Yeah, but the disorder in my closets—I need you!
Way to go, Becky!! What a well-spoken informative, straight-from-the-hip post. (Were you channelling Greg???) =0) If ever you doubt, know I not only love your work(and Greg’s too)myself, but will continue you push them at the store as long as I work there. I told Shannon yesterday that I’m pushing for a pride themed store choice endcap for at least a couple of weeks in June and need to make sure I have plenty of TJB stuff in stock. I can only really sell the stuff I know, right?? =0)
I once ignorantly knocked the editing in Greg’s first mystery and feel bad about it to this day. When he mentioned it on his website once, I was mortified and emailed him immdiately to apologize. He’s become one of my absolute favorites(both series). One of those writers I put off reading is lastest book, so I can savor it and so I won’t have to wait as long for the next one.
Loving what you do is a reward much better tha boatoads of money. It’s why I continue to teach, often part-timeat various places piecing a living together.
Thanks, Gary. And you made Greg and me laugh with that first question.
Make no mistake. I admire Greg’s forthrightness. =0) Ya’ll have fun @ S&S!!
That’s My Sister
Me thinks that AW just might be a little bitter. Or maybe envious. Since you may be busy and not reading your mail as much I hope you get this one. Got my computer but will not be internet connected until next saturday 5/12 in the pm. I will let you know as soon as I can. By the way I hate my life I hate my job and I hate Dayton. So very glad I came back. Miss ya loads….. DLC
Re: That’s My Sister
I can’t wait for you to be connected again. =)
Oh dear. You should figure out who got your books accepted and thank them for putting your books into the hands of a publisher. Oh, that’s right – it was You.
BTW – I can’t let the whole Christmas gift thing go. You’re setting a bad example. Stop it.
Would it make things better if I said I could make another dog from the fur on the carpet in my office?
A-f*ing-men.
(And P.S. I like your books in large part because “they’re gay” and they are “that romance shit.” Writing delicious, readable, page-turning novels may seem easy to people who can do nothing but criticize — easy, that is, until someone actually tries it! Let alone does it time after time — like you and the boys do — with amazing consistency). (So there!)
Thank you, Joel. =)
Since I can’t take you to lunch — which you really deserve –I would gladly send you 50-cents just for today’s blog. You do have a way with words, Becky C, but I’ve said that so many times before. BTW, AW was right, you do know someone — they’re called friends and fans — but they’re really one and the same.
Really Rob
Thanks, Rob.
How very true this is. I wish that AW could see it, too.
And while I’ve only read one of your books so far, there will be more–perhaps this summer, when I will have relaxation time, finally.
Every time I see your book in a bookstore I turn it face-out 😉
Thanks!
I take comfort in the knowledge that most of the brilliant work that was written during the Harlem Renaissance was, until the mid 70’s, largely overlooked. Perhaps the gay romance will have its day, if not now, someday.
It will, it definitely will. And women’s romance, too.
Women’s romance is our largest section in the store…. and that doesn’t even include a lot of the “chick lit” that is as much romance as fiction. I have ordered more “boyfriend fiction/gay romance” for my g/l endcap for pride month. The manager okayed it. =0)
I think this entry should be required reading in every creative writing program in every university in the country.
I think this entry should be handed out at every writers’ workshop in the country.
I think this entry says more about writing and becoming published than anything anyone could teach or learn. It’s about dedication and belief in oneself and one’s work (even if sometimes “one” is actually “four”).
For every A.W., and for every bad review, there are many more supporters of your work (and we do know it’s work) and your books. That’s a lot of fans and supporters…and the random Compound stalkers who stop by with dogs and baked goods.
And you rock.
Awesome post.
-Crash
Thank you. =)
If I thought it would hold my weight (which it won’t), I would be standing on my desk and applauding toward my monitor and probably shouting something like, “Can I get an amen, sister!?”
But I’m also at work so I probably shouldn’t do that even if the desk *would* hold my weight. Which it won’t. But still, get down with your bad self! I think I’ll print this out and give it to a few people who are toiling in relative silence as well.
Jeffrey R.
I wish you were going to be at Saints & Sinners. You could do this there and probably get people to hand over money.
(Thanks for your positive words.)
Excellent! What you’ve just outlined is exactly why I am frozen in fear of ever putting something out there. I respect the hell out of anyone who can take critisism and feedback and no what’s constructive and what is total bunk. And toil on no matter what.
Inspiring!
The popularity of your blog shows that you know how to reach and affect an audience. And you’ve been consistent with it. I think you’ve already taught yourself how to conquer your fear and use your voice. =)