A day without guilt (about not writing)

This morning I picked up McDonald’s “we no longer sell it so hot you can sue us” coffee for my mother and me while we visited. The coffee and company set the tone for a good day. After I got home, Amy came over for lunch (tuna salad–very basic) so I could finally meet her youngest, almost-four-month-old Colin. If Rexford were still living with Amy and her family, he would now have FOUR brothers! Think of all the possibilities for crumbs from hot dogs, pizza, and other boyfood! No worries, though. I picked up some all-naturalorganictotallysafeforyourdog treats last night, so Rex, Margot, Guinness, and EZ aren’t suffering.

Colin is a baby who smiles so much that the next time I write a novel, I’m making his photo my computer wallpaper. But first, I HAVE to get more proficient with my new camera. There are settings and choices galore, and I have in no way mastered them. I did manage to get one unblurred photo:

I always feel uplifted after a visit with Amy. When I met her, she was a single girl just out of college. At work, we always compared her to Laura “Oh, Rob!” Petrie, Mary Tyler Moore’s character on the Dick Van Dyke Show. She really did have the ability of MTM’s later character, Mary Richards, to turn the world on with her smile. She still does.

While she was here, we talked about another friend of ours we once worked with, Lisa. Lisa has one son, Ryan. Ryan was diagnosed with autism, and I have been awed by Lisa’s reaction to that. Not only has she completely embraced opportunities for Ryan to develop into the healthy, happy child he is, but Lisa has also become tireless in her efforts to raise public awareness about autism. There’s an upcoming TV news segment and a newspaper article that will include her.

You may be aware that Texas is where former First Lady Lady Bird Johnson began her campaign to beautify America’s roadways with wildflowers. This is the time of year when people drive into rural areas near Houston and admire nature showing off her color palette. It’s a rite of passage for every child to be photographed in a sea of bluebonnets (Texas’s state flower). I didn’t take these photos of Lisa and Ryan, but I can’t help sharing them.

I know the most amazing women.

19 thoughts on “A day without guilt (about not writing)”

  1. “It’s a rite of passage for every child to be photographed in a sea of bluebonnets”

    so true.

    i’m always amazed by the parents of special needs children. it takes a very specific person to be that parent and i do believe they are hand picked. 🙂

  2. This one time? My mom, bro and I were driving home from visiting the grandparents in Austin; and out of nowhere, my mother pulled over on the side of the road so that she could take pictures of us kids in the wildflowers. We fought her the whole way. People were driving by and honking. OMG, it was sooo embarrassing! Cause you know, I was a snotty 13 year old at the time… everything your mom makes you do in public is the most embarrassing thing you could possibly imagine. And now? I have that photo and really love it. 😉

    And we should totally get together and play with our cameras… I have some settings I need to work on, as, I’m co-shooting a wedding at the beginning of May.

  3. I think the “state flower” thing’s a wonderful idea – we don’t have anything like that here! The photos are just beautiful – such happy smiles.

    1. You drove me right to Google to see if there are national flowers. I assumed (rightly) that in the UK, Ireland’s would be the shamrock and Scotland’s the thistle. What I didn’t know was that England’s is the rose, and Wales’ is the daffodil.

      In honor of your national flower, and because I love learning new things, here’s something from The Compound for you:

      1. Oooh, thank you very much – that is truly gorgeous . . . those lovely velvety petals. A flower like that was never meant to be picked – just to display its glory on the bush.

        I wonder also if you’ve heard of the “Wars of the Roses”? In Tudor times the House of Lancaster was representated by a red rose, and the House of York by a white rose – much feuding and warlike behaviour (as ever in our ancient history!) ensued! The counties of Lancashire and Yorkshire still use them as their ‘county’ symbols today.

        *Here endeth the history lesson* !!

  4. There is a reason they’re called “special”

    It means so much to me to be respected by you, Becky. With all of the press (how crazy is that?), I have barely had a chance to eat (also something I thought I’d never say), much less keep up with your articles. I love to read your journal, it makes me feel connected to you, even though we haven’t been face to face in years.

    Life has been so challenging since Ryan was diagnosed in January of 2007. As difficult as it has been to travel the path of intensive behavioral therapy, I have to say that for the most part I wouldn’t change anything. I have never loved anything or anyone in this life more than I love Ryan. That love is the most powerful thing I have ever come to known, and there is honestly nothing I would not do for him.

    Finding out that your son will have a more difficult life than you would ever wish on any enemy is a cruel and deeply painful experience. But once you have mourned the loss of the “expected”, you learn that there are beautiful and amazing discoveries to be made about what he WILL do and who he will be that you never knew were possible.

    My natural instinct these days is to break into some long-winded (yet delightfully informative :)) speech about autism, but that is not why I am writing.

    Ryan is a gorgeous, intelligent, and incredibly sweet child. He lacks all of the deceptive traits that typical children naturally possess, and is never selfish or ill-willed. When he expresses love, it is genuine and more meaningful. He is completely authentic without the slightest deception. How can those things be bad?

    CNN showed a special on April 2nd (National Autism Awareness Day), during which a parent stated “Once you become the parent of a child with autism, you become a parent to all children with autism.” That was brilliantly stated, since you never learn about it until you are forced to. And once you do, you have the utmost compassion and understanding for others in “the community”. I’m sure this is how you felt (Becky) once you were exposed to the horrible experience of loving someone suffering with AIDS. (Not that I would ever compare my suffering to yours, of course.)

    Who knew that it would take something like this to give me a real purpose in life? And who (of all of the people that know me personally) would EVER have thought that I would react this way? Once Ryan has recovered (oh yes, he WILL recover), I will have no choice but to spend the rest of my life helping families of those with special needs. It chose me, and that makes perfect sense to me now.

    Well, there ya go, I kind of did it anyway.

    Anyway, it just means a lot to be appreciated by someone like you, Becky. You know that I have always held you above all others (except mom) in my eyes, and that what you say matters to me. Funny enough, it also really matters what Amy thinks, and what Lynne thinks as well. I love them all, even after all these years. How can you not love such wonderful women? Even through my own struggles and distance, I am still pissed about Lynne’s loss, and my impotence in doing anything for her.

    Wow, you just can’t shut me up today. The moral of my post was supposed to be thank you for posting my pictures and making me feel like what I am doing is not invisible. I love you and am so proud of what you do with your life. No one has this many friends without being uniquely special.

    Please tell Amy that I send love and blessings to her beautiful family. (Good GRIEF what a delicious baby she has!) And Lynne, you are so strong and one of the most interesting and fun people to be around that I have encountered. I’m certain that your own personal challenges have not broken that amazing spirit. It’s no wonder you are best friends with a woman like Becky.

    Thanks for always including me, Beckbo. Your light fills me up, and as always I am proud to be called your friend. I LOVE YOU.

    1. Re: There is a reason they’re called “special”

      You can make “speeches” in my LJ comments any time–I love your eloquence–and think of all the speeches you used to hear from me!

      The newspaper article was good. As always, I pass everything on to Jim. The wildflower photos are so good, and the one in the paper of the three of you was adorable because Scott and Ryan look so much alike and have the same expressions–it made me laugh.

      I’ll make sure Amy and Lynne come back and read your comments. We all admire how you have truly grown into the person you’re meant to be.

      And now–just because you’re a fellow Aries and will understand my compulsion to say this–did I not always PROMISE you that you’d like your thirties better than your twenties? Not because these years aren’t without their challenges, but because you discover that you’re uniquely qualified to meet them. You understand that everything you did helped build you into who you need to be. In a life truly lived, there are no “mistakes.”

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