Tag: random

I choose…

…whether or not to share what I think.
…whether or not to share what I believe.
…to understand that I hold contradictory viewpoints.
…to understand that I don’t fit neatly into anyone’s categories.
…to know that perception is NOT reality.
…to apologize when I know it’s warranted.
…not to apologize insincerely.
…when to participate in a conversation and when not to.
…to believe that actions have consequences.
…to do what I believe is right.
…to evaluate risks before I act or speak.
…to believe that most people are good humans.
…to believe in redemption.
…to understand that we are all flawed.
…to freely say I am wrong when I realize I am.
…to listen with an open mind even if I don’t appear to hear.
…to form opinions of what I see and hear.
…to listen without being compelled to respond.
…to know when someone is trying to manipulate, goad, or push me and keep that knowledge to myself.
…to resist being manipulated, goaded, and pushed.
…to know when I am being lied to and whether or not to say I know.
…to withdraw trust from people who lie to me.
…to practice self-restraint.
…to let go of anything that does not serve my better self.
…to laugh.
…to cry.
…to be who I am.
…to believe myself about who I am instead of someone else’s opinion of who I am.
…to resist the influence of any other human, organization, or institution to define what I believe is wrong as right.
…diplomacy over aggression.
…forgiveness over revenge.
…creation over destruction.
…compassion over cruelty.
…solutions over cynicism.

This is a love song, but expresses something I’m feeling.

ETA: As a point of reference as to what prompted this post, an almost ten-minute video and an in-depth article in The New Yorker. Powerful. Enlightening. Will be ignored by those most in need of them, leaving me with feelings that I counteract by reaffirming to myself that I remain who I know I am.

Self-care Saturday


One day recently, I went looking for something in the drawers of my kitchen island and pulled out this white tea cloth with the hippie van on it. I had no memory at all of how it came to be in my possession. I immediately began to question the usual suspects, all of whom denied any knowledge of it. I knew it couldn’t be too old because clearly it hadn’t been used, but WHEN did it get here? WHO provided it?

It had an eerie sense of magic about it, because last year, I gave a decades-long character a VW van in my rewrite of his story. His van is a sort of aquamarine color, and I’ve used that color on vans from coloring books as an homage. Did this tea towel appear from a fictitious character as a thank-you? CUE TWILIGHT ZONE music.

I posted a photo on Instagram as a long shot, and Geri, the giver, came forth and said it was included with my (March) birthday gifts in 2017. I sort-of understand how I forgot it. The flood came that year and I lost my mind for a time about what I owned and where it was, etc. Geri is a real person, not a fictitious character, and I guess the van became part of my general van-geist even though I didn’t remember it consciously. However, the reason my character’s van became the color it did was because of the color of a radio in his story, and NOBODY has given me a tea towel with a vintage radio on it. There are no flowers painted on the character’s van, but that kind of becomes a joke between him and another character in the second novel. It will be coming up again in the third novel.

What’s on the tea towel is the reason for this post. I had purchased a rose quartz facial roller from Body Mind and Soul and kept meaning to share it here.

I’m not going to list all the reasons to use a facial roller to help with circulation. Google it and you’ll find lots of information. If you’ve ever had facials or massages where the therapist paid attention to lymph circulation in your face and neck, there are health benefits. I used to make it a regular part of my practice when I did bodywork because of both its physical and stress-relieving qualities.

Using the roller is also meant to help firm your muscles, rid you of dark under-eye circles, and help blood circulation in your skin. These are all positive self-care routines.

Rose quartz is a beautiful, healing stone. It has the benefit of staying cool a long time, even when in use on a warm face. I picked up some Spitfire Girl rose water facial spray to use with it–completely forgetting I had a rose water mist at home. I also have this hemp facial mist with hemp seed and coconut oils. I have always liked facial misters, and though I haven’t used the roller routinely enough yet to notice benefits, I can tell you that if nothing else, it’s a great way to center and calm myself. That is worth everything these days.


Because of all the writing I’m doing, my eyes get tired, so I found an eye mask this weekend that contains lavender. I often lie down with cucumber slices on my (closed!) eyes when they feel strained, and that helps. (Years ago, Guinness came in and took one right off my eye and ate it, lol. Silly dog.)

I’m hoping putting on the eye mask will remind me it’s okay to do NOTHING but relax for a while. I don’t have to be reading, writing, or coloring all the time.

One word of caution, in case you don’t know. If you use ice masks or any kind of ice pack for your eyes, do NOT put anything frozen directly on your eyelids. Wrap anything that cold in a cloth to avoid tissue damage.

I love, I love, I love…

…my calendar pigs…

Pretty sure that’s how the Neil Sedaka song went. I found these calendars in my bin ‘o stuff.


A 1978 Famous Pigs calendar; 1981 Pin-up Calendar of Pigs; 1982 Whole Hog Calendar


Now that pin-up calendar… Isn’t there something a little disturbing about pin-ups from Dean Sausage Company? Admiring your meal? We used to have a favorite restaurant in the suburbs, now closed, where the steak was excellent and you looked out big picture windows to where cattle grazed the pastures. I recognized the irony. It was where I once watched Lyle Lovett across the dining room, and I’m not sure how that’s related, but somehow it is.

Some of those calendars provide insight into what I was doing during those years. But the one I’m for sure saving is this one:

Though only to cut the drawings out to color later, ’cause they’re sweet.

P.S. Y’all see that I’m regulating my blood pressure and stress level by not discussing politics, right?

Some things…

I got rid of another stack (nine inches high!) of work documents. I feel lighter and get to recycle paper this way.


This is my big desk where I’m not working right now. I think I’ll be more inclined to return when I get rid of the rest of the records and paperwork from my old job. It’ll be a fresh start! I do miss my wallpaper with my pretty pictures of 49ers quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo. =)

I wrote another poem with a prompt from this book the other day. It may not be readable on this picture. Doesn’t matter.

Tiny Tuesday!


I’ve had the coloring books for fashions of the 1920s and 1950s for a while, and it occurred to me that I should check for my favorite decades. Voila! The 1960s and 1970s are now mine.

Coloring has become part of my writing process. When I need to think and plot and create dialogue in my head, I can do that while coloring. When I’m thinking of where to go next with a specific character, I’ll color a page that makes me think of him or her. When I need a break from anything to do with writing and want to do something creative but not intense, coloring wins. I can take along a coloring book and my travel kit of pencils when I have to wait in a car or waiting room, go to jury duty, or sit outside. When I want to listen to music; unwind or relax without phones, iPads, laptop; and back before the pandemic, hang out with friends at the table, coloring is friendly to all that.

Back in the days when I was sewing doll clothes, something very hurtful was said to me. It doesn’t matter what or who, but sometimes when I’m coloring, I’ll realize that an equally disparaging remark could be made. It’s okay if everyone doesn’t understand the following, but I can say two things about myself: I am never bored. I rarely if ever waste time. That is measuring by my own yardstick, of course, and not anyone else’s, but when I hear other people talk about their lives, I often hear them say, “I was bored,” “I am bored,” “we were just wasting time,” “I thought I’d waste some time,” and “I don’t have anything to do!” I assume they are measuring with their own yardsticks, too. I’ll stick with my way, thanks.

On the theme of tiny, those two small coloring books have the potential to bring me infinite enjoyment.

That bed tray enables me to eat meals where I’m writing. It’s a small thing, too, but sometimes I remember that I used to write and then sit back and smoke while I read and edited what I’d written. I’ll happily and more healthily take (sample meal) an apple, burger, chips, and peach tea over smoking.

Those little apple slices are a sure sign that a certain character is about to reappear in my WIP. I can’t wait to see him again as I wrap up this second book (only a chapter and a half to go!).

The bedspread missing on this bed is because it’s being washed in our new washing machine. This was NOT a tiny disappointment–I didn’t expect to be buying a new washer–and it’s not a tiny washing machine, either. But soon, I’ll get the small satisfaction of finishing bed-making in the middle bedroom. This week, the sheets make me think of ANOTHER character who’ll also show up soon. Looking forward to him, too.

A life is made up of so many small and large things. Choose your words wisely when you judge another person’s use of time and energy. Or maybe: Keep your judgments to yourself.