Tag: dreams

Stream of consciousness

Here’s a stream of consciousness-style post to show how my brain comes up with a blog post.


Watching an Instagram account where dolls are used to reenact scenes from TV shows and movies. Second customer in a fast food joint is portrayed by a BTS doll, Jimin. I remember the time I blogged a photo of one of my characters in the Neverending Saga as portrayed by a Jimin doll that I found on eBay for a few dollars. The doll came without any of his original clothes or accessories, so I had to make the outfit in the photo.

Sometime after that, I was in a Barnes & Noble close to my doctor’s office after an appointment, and there Jimin was again, all nice in the box, at a deeply discounted price. Even though I already had a Jimin doll, I really love this character, so I bought him.

Then I remembered that I’d since found the BTS dolls at Five Below, which means they were priced at $5 or less, except one of the dolls was missing. I got the ones they had, and Tom was kind enough to go to a couple of more Five Below stores closer to his workplace, but no luck. Sad face. Then I decided I couldn’t have everyone in the group except for one (even if I did have Jimin twins). Back to eBay, and I bought the doll I was missing at a reasonable price. Ordered, delivered, the group was reunited!

But I don’t think I ever blogged a photo of them, I thought. I should do that. But what kind of background would I give them?

I then wondered, as I do from time to time, whatever happened to the smoking jacket given as a gift to my father by his civilian staff, all Korean, after his last tour of duty in Korea. It would be a great background for the dolls but I don’t have it. But what DID ever happen to that smoking jacket…


I texted my brother. Yep, at some point after Daddy died, Mother gave it to David. He still has it. He even had a picture of it on his phone, and here’s a detail of the jacket. Funny that I remembered it as bright blue, but I’ve accumulated a lot more memories since the last time I saw it. Thanks, David! I told him I love that he has it.

[I briefly thought about a nap dream I had the other day that began with me dreaming I was taking a nap, woke up, turned over, and my father was standing in the room. He was in uniform, and he looked like he did when I was about seven, but I was adult me in the dream. The absolute joy I felt when I saw him there. “Daddy!” I said, jumped up, and hugged him. “You’re home!” The dream moved on to other things, but every time I think of it, I remember the happiness of seeing him.]

I told my brother that I, too, once had a sort of pajama jacket that Daddy brought back from Korea, and I had no idea where it went to over the years. Suddenly I was pretty sure I had a picture of one of my nieces wearing it in a silly photo shoot I did of nephews and nieces after they created costumes out of clothes from my closet (probably 1986). Here you see Billy Idol, Prince, and two babes who look like they could have been on “Mod Squad” in the 1970s. That babe on the far right is wearing the red and black PJ jacket I was talking about.

But I still hadn’t photographed the BTS crew. So I did, against some of the fabric Debby gave me at Christmas. The end.


BTS Idol K-Pop Dolls: Jin, Jimin, J-Hope, Jung Kook, Suga, V, and RM

Tiny Tuesday and Song Challenge: Day 26

A pair of tiny heart-shaped ruby earrings Tom gave me on some occasion probably in the 1990s.

Here I am, celebrating another turn around the sun today, and the song challenge is “a song that makes you think of falling in love.”

At my birthday party many years ago, a joint event with two other women with birthdays that same week and an open invitation to a horde of friends and acquaintances, theirs, mine, and ours, I danced for the first time with a man I’d only recently met. He seemed like one of the good guys, but I was coming off one of the worst years of my life, with terrible losses in my family, a broken relationship, some friend betrayals, and the consequences of many, many bad choices and bad judgments on my part. The last thing I wanted or needed was a relationship with a man, no matter how nice he was. I needed to deal with my messy life and make hard decisions about what to do next.

Two years later, I’d marry that good guy, and a few months after that, we would move to Houston. We’ve had quite a life together–the good, the bad, and the ridiculous–and I can’t imagine celebrating all the birthdays since I met him with anyone else.

I think Fleetwood Mac’s “Crystal” is the first song Tom and I danced to at my birthday party that night. He may remember differently–that’s just part of having a few decades together. =)

ETA: Coming back after the fact because of the dreams I had last night–so vivid that after the dream began, I woke up briefly, went back to sleep immediately, and the same dream picked up where it left off. It was about a key person in my life story and evoked an array of memories and feelings. Mostly it reminded me that sometimes it’s good not to get what we think we want and that we–I–need to acknowledge, to myself, the better things about my nature instead of being hard on myself for my mistakes and flaws.

I can’t write

Credit: CSA Images/CSA Images
Copyright: ©CSA Images/CSA Images

ETA: Before I woke up Sunday morning after I posted this, I dreamed. In the dream, I saw this typewriter and what was on the paper, then I saw that I had 30 comments. I was so shocked! It was like the days of yore either on LiveJournal or when I linked to my blog from Facebook and Twitter.

When I read the first comment, it said, “I know exactly what you’re talking about. It happens to me, too.” It was signed with one of my character’s names, but in my dream, I knew it wasn’t my character. Just a coincidence. I woke myself up and thought, Not your character and not a coincidence. You know who it was.

I do. ❤️

I customized my own meme

A lottery meme goes around from time to time, usually showing a room full of cats or dogs. I often have a room full of dogs and I’m NOT rich, so I decided to make my own version. My whole life, whenever anyone asked, What out-there thing would you do if you won the lottery?,” it’s always been this. (Sure, I hope I’d do good, too, but honestly, if I’m going to win millions, I want SOMETHING for me.)


I could get used to a chauffeur very quickly.

Tiny Tuesday!

Starting this day with a silly anecdote and again sharing my Eddie Van Halen Funko.

Last night, Lynne and I were texting about various things that included characters I write or have written or plan to write. Eddie Van Halen was mentioned in passing. We said goodnight, and afterward, I did a few more things on my phone before I closed all the apps and placed it face down on the table next to the bed.

If you know me at all, you know two things. One: With very few exceptions, I don’t like to talk on the phone. If you and I have spoken by phone, it means I’ve overcome my aversion for the sake of friendship and I’ve likely enjoyed those calls because of the friendship. But business calls, calls with other people who don’t like to talk on the phone, calls where it’s hard to hear the other person, GROUP calls on speakerphone–these are not my favorite things.

Two: I fully understand and often say that no one’s dreams are as interesting to anyone as they are to the dreamer. Sorry/not sorry: It’s just true. I think therapists who ask to hear their patients’ dreams are secretly making mental shopping lists, trying to remember lyrics to songs, or doing any other brain exercise while their patients ramble on. They interject an occasional, “What do you think that means?” or “Do you connect this stranger in the dream to someone in your life?” And while the patient then rambles some more, the therapist is thinking, “That Eagles album uses one of the most extended metaphors in modern music…”

This is your chance to stop reading.

I was sleeping soundly this morning around 6:30 and having a dream in which I was in some rural town with my grandnieces and grandnephews. I will spare you the details of which ones and all the things we were doing and discussing. But we decided to go for a walk through the countryside, talking and laughing along the way. We heard the loud noise of a motorcycle coming toward us from a trail/dirt drive, and the rider came into view. He did a few spins, smiled and nodded our way, then turned back the way he’d come. The kids didn’t react much, and I said, “Do you not know who that was?” They shook their heads, and I said, “That was Eddie Van Halen.”

At that point, I could hear someone talking next to me, and I woke up. The voice was coming from my lit up phone, so I picked it up while putting on my glasses. Lynne’s contact picture was on the screen, and the call voice was saying, “Press one to [do something], or press [some other number] to leave a message.” I was confused and I think I pressed one, and the call stopped, and I put the phone down, extremely disoriented. A minute or so later, the phone rang, I answered, and Lynne said, “What?” I explained that my phone, not I, had for some reason decided to call her, so we hung up because FFS, it was 6:30 AM! Right after that, first my phone, then Tom’s, BLARED alerts that the boil water advisory for the city of Houston had been lifted and all water has been found safe.

I then told Tom about my phone deciding to call Lynne for no apparent reason, even though all apps were closed, and the text exchange with her wasn’t the final thing I did on the phone last night. He said, “It’s almost like you told Siri to call Lynne.”

Is it possible that I said, “That was Eddie Van Halen” out loud in my sleep, and does that sound like “Siri, call Lynne?” Especially since I never speak to Siri or give her directions at all.

All I know is, I was up way too early, but I took my meds, mopped the library floor, and filled the dogs’ outside water buckets with safe water that we’d boiled yesterday.

If you stuck with me to the end of this, I’ll remind you that today is Giving Tuesday. If you’re unable to donate to any of the great organizations who help people, animals, and the planet, maybe just start giving your change back to businesses that collect for charity, like McDonald’s does for Ronald McDonald House.

And give a kind thought to anyone–friend, family, dead musician–who can make you smile in a dream–but don’t feel compelled to call me to tell me about it. SORRY, LYNNE! 😄

Time to complete something?

Today is a Full Moon, which had me thinking how full moons are a time of completion, and that reminded me of this book. I first posted it back in March of last year and shared one of the writing prompts. I’m personally invested in what I’m writing now, and I get “prompts” from so many sources–a few I can recall off hand are a perfume bottle, a song (lots of these), an ornament, a recipe, a scrap of fabric, an old car–but I remember well what it’s like to feel blank and frustrated when I want to write.

Even if you don’t write, if your stories are in your mind and not put to paper, maybe you feel like indulging your imagination. Here’s the beginning of a story from the book:

For the past six months, this had been his block. The acoustics were perfect, the foot traffic not too heavy or light, and there was plenty of room on the sidewalk for Jonas and his…

Your next word hopefully gives you an image that fires up your curiosity to figure out who Jonas is and what he’s doing. Things you might consider are imagery (what do you see? hear? smell? taste? touch?), motive, and conflict. Imagine it, write it, dream it–and by the way, I hear dreams on this full pink moon may be important.


Photo by Christophe Lehenaff/Getty Images

Tarot Etc. Thursday No. 5


This beautiful new box I picked up sometime after Christmas at a Tuesday Morning store now holds five different decks. The deck I’m choosing to feature today is The Akashic Tarot, a 2017 set created by Sharon Anne Klingler and Sandra Anne Taylor.


The box it came in reads: The Akashic Tarot is an astoundingly accurate tool for predicting the future, unveiling hidden insights, and unleashing new powers. That description would likely not have made me buy this deck last year, because the only part that grabs me is the “hidden insights.” Your mileage may vary if you work with Tarot cards in a different way from me.

Many, many years ago I had a fascinating dream which I won’t share because it involves someone I knew personally and loved (still love) very much. She died in 1978, and I had this dream in the 1990s, and in the dream, I said to myself, “I’m in the Hall of Akashic Records, and it is nothing like I was led to believe.” Had I heard the term before? Possibly from Princess Patti. But my mind on the subject was a blank slate, and the sentence was so sure and so specific that I never forgot it. From that day, I’ve questioned people who have a lot of experience with and interest in metaphysics about the concept.

As simply as I can state it, theory has it that the Hall of Records is actually three physical places located on the planet where stored records explain the history of the origin of humans and how we arrived on Earth. Accessing the contents of these records helps predict where humans are going.

The Hall of Akashic Records, on the other hand, is an ever-changing and shifting energy dimension that contains all the experiences of every living being across time and throughout the Universe. Someone who accesses these records can see the past, present, and future, and every individual can see her/his own records for past, present, and future if s/he accesses the subconscious.

Do I believe all that? As with all things, I have a healthy sense of skepticism. The way my mind works, there is no way to know, and no one way of thinking disproves or proves another. There are people who do believe in one or both concepts, or who hold entirely different spiritual beliefs, and in that regard, all I’d say about any individual’s or group’s actions is that they are best done with the highest intentions for the good of all concerned, without will to manipulate an outcome or another human, and with a commitment to do no harm. The things I value most highly are compassion, honesty, freedom, justice, and loyalty. What runs afoul of those, I want no part of.

The dream that remains with me is why I bought the deck, and it’s quite beautiful. I shared the “Destiny” card on here back in October because it made me think of past lives, and that had come up in the novel(s) I’m working on. The deck has differences from other Tarot decks in not only the Major Arcana, but in the numbered cards and the people. The authors say their choices are rooted in “Numerology, theories of karma, the Druidic mysteries, Quantum Physics, Natural Law, religious symbolism, Buddhist traditions, and mythologies and beliefs from around the world.” That’s a lot!

The deck’s creators also provide different spreads for how to lay out and read the cards. I haven’t ever done a reading with this deck for myself, another person, or characters. If the time becomes right, I know I will. However, I was very intrigued to find that this is yet another deck with a Muse card. Since the deck’s creators suggest that a reader allow each card to create a mental movie, I offer the Muse if you’d like to see what movie you visualize. (It’s not necessary to share your movie in the comments unless you’d like to.)


Right now, I have a strong desire to pop some corn and watch this movie. I’m almost positive characters will be involved.