Category: Uncategorized

I don’t know why, but I like finding people’s shopping lists in grocery stores. The one pictured below I found the other night on an aisle that has none of the things on the list. I like to make deductions about the shopper, which I’ve shared under the list.

I’ve decided this listmaker is probably female, but I have no real reason for that. It looks like a woman’s handwriting to me. For purposes of my discussion, I’ll choose that gender.

Item 1: Detergent both

First off, this tells me the list wasn’t made by a woman sending a man to Kroger, or it would say things like “detergent–Tide–not just any Tide, but the liquid concentrate with no perfumes or dyes. I don’t care if All powder is cheaper of if someone offers detergent in a pink bottle for breast cancer awareness. Don’t think. Just get my Tide.”

However, she could be shopping for two people who like different detergents. Or does she need both laundry and dish detergent? Hard to say.

There’s more evidence that she’s shopping for someone other than only herself in the next two items, Dr Tich and ACT. Both are mouthwash products: Dr. Tichenor’s Antiseptic Peppermint Mouthwash and ACT, which actually offers a couple of mouthwashes for children, including one with SpongeBob SquarePants on the label.

Maybe there’s a child, so kudos to her for buying healthy fresh fruit. The bread and the generic “lunch meat” are probably for either a school-age kid or someone who takes her lunch to work (economical!).

Something confuses me. What is “salad?” Would that be pre-cut and tossed salad in a bag? (A personal dislike of mine.) Or maybe she fills a container from Kroger’s salad bar (not economical!). Though I’ve done that on rare occasions when I won’t have time to do my own cutting and chopping before people are banging silverware on the table. Or is “salad” just a generic term to remind her that she needs to get the items she always uses in her salads? (Efficient!)

One thing I like about her is that though she sometimes capitalizes common names, she always capitalizes brand names: Dr Tich, ACT, Windex. Good attention to detail, and that, along with no spelling errors or weird apostrophes in plural words–way to make your former English or journalism teacher proud!

However, I’m less impressed by her organizational skills. Detergent and dryer sheets should be together, with Windex, paper towels, then the mouthwashes following. Bananas and apples should be with the onion and carrot (just one carrot?!?). Sage is on the spice aisle, unless she’s buying fresh sage, in which case, keeping it with onion and carrot is okay. In this particular Kroger, her order should be produce, bread, spices, lentils, detergent (both), dryer sheets, Windex, paper towels, mouthwashes, lunch meat. Or if she entered through the other side of the store, the exact reverse.

Speaking of dryer sheets, have I ever mentioned how annoyed I was when some editor or another at the publisher for Three Fortunes in One Cookie changed dryer to “drier?” Seriously? Go look at the web pages of major appliance dealers. It’s a dryer! But I digress.

She left her list on top of the canned green beans (not on the list). However, I think she’s making soup (lentils, onion, carrot, sage), so maybe she decided to toss in some canned vegetables. I’d have gone with fresh or frozen.

Overall: healthy AND economical. No processed foods, no cookies, no chips, no soft drinks. So her kid probably grits his no-cavities! fresh breath! teeth at her, but I’m thinking no kid, because also missing from this list: wine, mommy’s little coping mechanism.