I don’t know why, but I like finding people’s shopping lists in grocery stores. The one pictured below I found the other night on an aisle that has none of the things on the list. I like to make deductions about the shopper, which I’ve shared under the list.
I’ve decided this listmaker is probably female, but I have no real reason for that. It looks like a woman’s handwriting to me. For purposes of my discussion, I’ll choose that gender.
Item 1: Detergent both
First off, this tells me the list wasn’t made by a woman sending a man to Kroger, or it would say things like “detergent–Tide–not just any Tide, but the liquid concentrate with no perfumes or dyes. I don’t care if All powder is cheaper of if someone offers detergent in a pink bottle for breast cancer awareness. Don’t think. Just get my Tide.”
However, she could be shopping for two people who like different detergents. Or does she need both laundry and dish detergent? Hard to say.
There’s more evidence that she’s shopping for someone other than only herself in the next two items, Dr Tich and ACT. Both are mouthwash products: Dr. Tichenor’s Antiseptic Peppermint Mouthwash and ACT, which actually offers a couple of mouthwashes for children, including one with SpongeBob SquarePants on the label.
Maybe there’s a child, so kudos to her for buying healthy fresh fruit. The bread and the generic “lunch meat” are probably for either a school-age kid or someone who takes her lunch to work (economical!).
Something confuses me. What is “salad?” Would that be pre-cut and tossed salad in a bag? (A personal dislike of mine.) Or maybe she fills a container from Kroger’s salad bar (not economical!). Though I’ve done that on rare occasions when I won’t have time to do my own cutting and chopping before people are banging silverware on the table. Or is “salad” just a generic term to remind her that she needs to get the items she always uses in her salads? (Efficient!)
One thing I like about her is that though she sometimes capitalizes common names, she always capitalizes brand names: Dr Tich, ACT, Windex. Good attention to detail, and that, along with no spelling errors or weird apostrophes in plural words–way to make your former English or journalism teacher proud!
However, I’m less impressed by her organizational skills. Detergent and dryer sheets should be together, with Windex, paper towels, then the mouthwashes following. Bananas and apples should be with the onion and carrot (just one carrot?!?). Sage is on the spice aisle, unless she’s buying fresh sage, in which case, keeping it with onion and carrot is okay. In this particular Kroger, her order should be produce, bread, spices, lentils, detergent (both), dryer sheets, Windex, paper towels, mouthwashes, lunch meat. Or if she entered through the other side of the store, the exact reverse.
Speaking of dryer sheets, have I ever mentioned how annoyed I was when some editor or another at the publisher for Three Fortunes in One Cookie changed dryer to “drier?” Seriously? Go look at the web pages of major appliance dealers. It’s a dryer! But I digress.
She left her list on top of the canned green beans (not on the list). However, I think she’s making soup (lentils, onion, carrot, sage), so maybe she decided to toss in some canned vegetables. I’d have gone with fresh or frozen.
Overall: healthy AND economical. No processed foods, no cookies, no chips, no soft drinks. So her kid probably grits his no-cavities! fresh breath! teeth at her, but I’m thinking no kid, because also missing from this list: wine, mommy’s little coping mechanism.
You clearly have too much time on your hands, Becky! I think you should write another novel…
And any kid of hers needs some cake!
I always write “salad”, which to me means everything in the salad. It’s easier than writing each item out.
I had a professor in college who loved list poems. She would have gone loopy over finding such a treasure.
I like your analysis. 🙂
My shopping lists would probably annoy you. I keep a pad on the refrigerator, and people add things as they discover a need. We list from the bottom up so that if I end up with a small list I don’t waste an entire page – I just tear off the part I need and the rest is available for new items. I can have six different people adding to the list if the boys’ girlfriends help, though I usually only have two or three contributing.
When shopping, I don’t shop in the list order. I mentally group items that are near each other. Of course, I usually still end up backtracking all over the store trying to find the kids (they may be adults, but they’re still *my* kids), who like to join me on my shopping trips so they can request something special that wasn’t on the list. Puppy eyes while holding said special request are harder to deny, you know. 🙂
Clearly, the point never comes when it’s okay to take kids with their puppy eyes to the grocery story. Though I suspect after a certain point, the temper tantrums in the cereal and candy aisles stop.
Yeah, I have two kinds of lists. The one I make over days as things run out (which has no organization), and the one I do at one time (which is very organized). No matter which, I seem to always manage to leave something off the list. And sometimes, with the disorganized list, I decide it’s just not worth it to backtrack because other shoppers have sent me into my I-hate-shopping mode.
She didn’t have to list the junk food because she would have no problem remembering that!….not that I would know myself, of course. 😉
Others have mentioned this, too. I think it’s a good point.
I like finding shopping lists too! It’s even more fun though looking at your US brands, I haven’t heard of some of those, like Dr Tich and ACT. Have never bought dryer sheets, in fact I think they’ve only arrived here recently. My clothes seem to dry fine without sticking sheets in there, although mostly I dry them outside. Windex looks all wrong way down there amongst the other things – totally agree on lack of organisational skills. 🙂
Beyond their obvious use, there’s apparently a list of other ways to use dryer sheets.
To wit (copied from the Internet and not confirmed by me):
A sheet will repel mosquitoes on your patio. Hang a sheet when outdoors during the mosquito season.
Eliminates static electricity from your television and computer screen. Fabric softener sheets are designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television and computer screen with a used sheet to keep dust from resettling.
A sheet can be used to dissolve soap scum from shower doors, and the tile walls. Clean the surfaces with a sheet.
A fragranced sheet can be used to freshen the air in your home. Place an individual sheet in a drawer, hang one in the closet, locker at the health club, locker at work or under the seat of your car or truck. Leave several in the RV or camper while it’s in storage.
A sewing needle run through a sheet prior to sewing can prevent the thread from tangling.
A sheet left inside suitcase, luggage, or travel baggage can prevent musty odors. Place a single sheet inside the empty luggage before storing.
Fabric softener sheets are claimed to clean baked on foods from cooking pots and pans. Place a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight. Next morning sponge it clean. The antistatic agent apparently weakens the bond between the stuck on food between the pot or pans surface. The fabric softening agents helps to soften the baked on food.
Placing a sheet at the bottom of the wastebasket, helps eliminate odors found in wastebaskets. Placing an individual sheet at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper will accomplish the same results.
Collecting pet hairs. Rubbing the area with a sheet will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.
Eliminating static electricity from venetian blinds and window coverings. Wipe the blinds with a sheet is said to prevent dust from resettling.
Wiping up sawdust, on the shop workbench, from drilling or sandpapering is easy. A used sheet will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.
They will take the odor out of books and photo albums that don’t get opened too often.
Placing a sheet in your shoes or sneakers overnight, will help to deodorize them and as a result they will smell much better in the AM.
Bounce dryer sheets keep pests such as mice away. Use them around the camp site; this also works for ants and bees.
If you do machine appliqueing while sewing, it makes a good fabric underneath your work to keep it from puckering.
I think salad is bag of lettuce … because that is the way I do it, and carrots is listed seperately, although that could be for the soup. I am also interested in “lunch meat” bologna ( I have to sing the song to spell that… ) ham?
Considering the rest of the list, I’m going with turkey.
Now you know I’m going to have to start leaving shopping lists for people to find.
Something like:
M&Ms 1 lb bag
Pamprin
Diet Coke
Wild Turkey
shot gun shells
30 gallon trash bags.
Now I totally want to leave that list in a Walmart.
Found poetry!
I went shopping today and my list looked more
like this:
Cat food – dry
Cat food – canned
Cat litter
Italian bread
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter – Lite
National Enquirer
HA HA HA! I love your list.
If you can find it anywhere, check out the song “Milk Tea and Oranges” by Spirit of the West, about a very disturbing shopping list they once found.
I couldn’t hear it, but I did get to read the lyrics. Sad and yes, disturbing.
~~~
That’s what the Dr. Tich is for.