The gift of friends

I had a post all written for today, then I realized it’s the special day of two friends, and I want to talk about both of them instead.

I met David Puterbaugh in a roundabout way. Because they were both in the same anthology and liked each other’s stories, Tim and David began a correspondence. I, too, liked his story, so when we began putting together an anthology of our own, we invited David to submit a new short story. “Thai Angel,” became the perfect beginning for the anthology Fool For Love: New Gay Fiction, for which Cleis Press has set a tentative release date of February 2009.

David met another of the writers in that collection, Famous Author Rob Byrnes, at a signing Rob did for When the Stars Come Out. Tim and I finally got to meet David in person at Saints and Sinners in 2007, and we had a blast with him. He met up with us and FARB again in New York that May, and then we were all together at Saints and Sinners this past spring.

Those are the facts, but they don’t convey what a special man David is. The more I know him, the more I admire him. During a difficult period of my life, he has consistently offered his friendship, comfort, and support, and most of all, he makes me laugh so hard when I’m with him that sometimes I can’t breathe.

Today, Tim and I made a visit to Petco. I tried to find a clown toy for my dogs to maul in David’s honor, but this is the closest I could get.

Happy birthday, “Pegs,” and thank you for being the fine person and genuine friend you are. I look forward to many more meetings and more of your excellent writing.

My friend Kathy also has a birthday today. I find that unlike with David, I can’t remember the details of our first meeting. It’s not because it wasn’t memorable, it’s because from the first moment she welcomed me into her heart and offered her friendship with the best hugs you can imagine, I felt like I’d known her always.

One date I do remember well is March 4. My mother was still living independently, with visits from her hospice volunteers and RN, and she had some symptoms that worried them. They decided to admit her into their in-patient unit for a few days to better observe and manage her care. The thing is, March 4 was her eighty-second birthday, and the plans Tom and I had made for dinner with her couldn’t happen.

I knew in my heart that this was going to be the last of her birthdays I’d share with her, so I doggedly made cupcakes in two sizes to take to hospice, thinking we could share them with the staff. As you can imagine, it was an emotional day for me and I did most of my baking with tears streaming down my face.

That was when my “three favorite lesbians” came to the rescue. Lindsey and Rhonda said they’d go with Tom and me to create a birthday celebration with my mother. And Kathy, who’d never even met Mother, assured me that she’d help make it a good night, too.

And she did. She called my mother “Miss Dorothy” and talked to her as if they were old friends. Before the night was over, my mother emerged from the confusion caused by Alzheimer’s, being in a new and unfamiliar place, and pain medication, to tell stories and entertain us all while making a huge chocolate mess of one of her cupcakes–which is just the way a birthday should be.

Rhonda, Lindsey, and me, with Kathy kneeling next to Miss Dorothy.

Every moment like that is a gift to me, and I will never forget that night or all the other times Kathy has been here with a hug, a smile, and the offer of anything she can do to make my life brighter. Thank you so much, Kathy, and I hope you have a birthday filled with the love and laughter of friends. There’s a chocolate cake in your future from The Compound.