It’s finally here: the day the new season of Survivor premieres (7 p.m. central time, if You Know Who doesn’t screw it up with his address to the nation).
Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s important that YKW talk about Katrina. I hope he says something of substance and meaning rather than just invoking the memory of September 11 as many times as possible in his speech. It makes me crazy when he exploits a national tragedy to the point that if it were a drinking game, we’d all be hammered by the end of every state of the union address or controversial press conference. Then bloggers and pundits would be too hung over to remember what to argue about the next day. Wait: Maybe that’s not a bad thing. Still, I take what’s happening on the Gulf Coast and in Iraq seriously, so I’d rather make a drinking game of the number of times YKW mispronounces “nuclear” or something.
But I digress. The REAL reason it’s “S” Day is because our friend Steve is flying in for the premiere of Survivor! Everyone at The Compound is quite excited because it’s been nearly three years since Steve’s last visit. Margot and Guinness are psyched, because Uncle Steve is the one who provides The Best Christmas Treats Ever. I keep those treats in a particular cabinet. Whenever I open it, they burn up the carpets getting there to salivate at me. It really annoys them when I take out a deck of cards or a map or a phone book, because those things are also stored in that cabinet. They don’t understand why they can’t have a mass of gummy rawhide clogging their stomachs at all times.
Usually when Steve travels, there’s a story to be had. Like the time he was flying to Portland from San Diego and had to connect in LA. On his way to the airport, he stopped at Starbuck’s, which is clearly the devil’s brew, because he missed his flight. Oh, sure, he says he got mixed up on flight times, but really, isn’t it more fun to blame Starbuck’s? The airline had to send another plane to LA to go on to somewhere else, so they put Steve on that second flight. When he boarded, he found out that he was the ONLY PASSENGER. He got someone on the flight crew to take this photo.
When he wondered if he could sit in first class, the flight attendant asked if he wanted to pay for an upgrade. Dumbfounded (and coffee-logged; don’t forget to blame Starbuck’s), he stared at her, and she burst out laughing. Of course they put him up front and gave him the star treatment. Now he thinks he should get his own jet every time he travels. Two out of two dogs agree.
Plus, I imagine he didn’t have to wait in line to use the bathroom after drinking all that coffee.
Good point. If, in fact, he can go to the bathroom on planes.
You crazy kids have fun tonight!
Thanks! Hey, are you and Rhonda gonna watch Survivor this season? If Survivor Live does another fantasy league, wanna join our tribe?
Oy Vey, you’re going to get us sucked into yet another reality TV show…
We might join your tribe — what’s in it for us??
Hmmm. The humiliation of never doing as well as Steve and Tim? I mean, this is clearly why I do it…
I dunno…I think I’m going to need a list of questions answered first:
1) Will our tribe be settled on a nude beach?
2) Will exotic drinks in coconut shells with umbrellas be served?
3) Will we get to play with fire?
4) Can we make Tim get naked for Oreos and Peanut butter?
5) Can we vote Tim and/or Steve off if either of them does anything to hinder our game?
LOL, okay, I see you have your OWN Survivor fantasy thing going on. Word: Tim HATES Oreos. Think peanut butter and chocolate.
The official Survivor Fantasy game really is only for honor (okay, they give away a car, but we’ve never come near making enough points for that).
Each week you pick four Survivor contestants who you think will earn you the most points based on certain set things like “goes in water above waist” or “reads tree mail” and certain things you can pick, like “first interviewed” or “sleeps away from camp.” You get extra points if someone on your team wins reward or immunity.
I think we can have up to eight teams on a tribe. So usually the four of us (Steve, Tim, Tom, me) have a couple of teams each. I generally designate one of my teams to the dogs, and those bitches ALWAYS score better than I do. (Yeah, even though I pick their players, for some reason, I convince myself that I’m competing with the dogs instead of myself.)
Steve generally does better than anyone else, because he’s Mr. Survivor, but if Tim applies himself, he can beat Steve. I have a good week now and then, but for me, it’s more luck than strategy. Tom’s only done it once and did okay, but will probably play better this time.
Well you’re going to have to show me how this all works — if there’s a chance at a free car, I’m in!
eh, Survivor sucks. “Lost” is where it’s at.
We’re so excited that “Survivor” is back! It starts here tonight (Friday, that is for us) as we’re getting a direct satellite link from the US (no having to wait till the following Tuesday as is the usual case).
We figure it’s because the rival commercial station is showing an AFL (aussie-rules footy) preliminary final at the same time, so channel 9 had to pull a big rabbit out of the hat to try and compete, ratings-wise, and they don’t come any bigger than Survivor!
Your game sounds fun; keep us up to date on who’s winning 🙂
I had totally forgotten about Survivor and caught it by accident. Surprising for me really, since last time I had a kid, I wouldn’t go to the hospital until it was over (first season), even though all I could think about was drugs. Then since I waited, I was too late for an epidural…damn Survivor.