Because the power of FARB compels me

He tagged me, so here I go:

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1) Sell a book to the movies.
2) Get to my goal weight.
3) Find out who stole my wooden pushpuppet lion when I was ten.
4) Have the brains if not the looks and STILL make lots of money.
5) Keep getting novels published.
6) Stop having migraines.
7) Never smoke again.

7 things I can do:
1) Cook.
2) Proofread and edit.
3) Write.
4) Sound like Roseanne when I yell, “Tooooooooooom.”
5) Tune out the world when I work.
6) Feel energy in places (houses, buildings, etc.).
7) Remember useless crap.

7 things I cannot do:
1) Turn a cartwheel.
2) Find the whereabouts of my friend Bobby.
3) Drink wine without getting a headache.
4) Eat Brussels sprouts.
5) Put down a book I’m not enjoying without finishing it.
6) Dance even as well as FARB.
7) Always remember how my middle name is spelled. (Seriously!)

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1) Sense of humor.
2) Intelligence.
3) Eyes.
4) Centeredness.
5) Sensitivity.
6) A good, denim-clad ass.
7) Just the right amount of body hair.

7 things that I say most often:
1) “The thing is…”
2) “Tooooooooooooooom.”
3) “Good girl!”
4) “It’s all about Tim.”
5) “Stop ringing! Shut UP!”
6) “What an asshole.”
7) “Am I wrong?” (in a tone that says, I’m SO FUCKING RIGHT)

7 celebrity crushes (I assume this means other than Tim):
1) Gale Harold
2) Queen Latifah
3) George Michael
4) Kim Basinger
5) Jon Stewart
6) Joe Perry
7) Famous Author Rob Byrnes

7 people I want to do this:

What, I need people pissed off at me?