Dear Wonderful Lisa in Iowa,

This morning I overcame my nightmare and my habitual agoraphobia and left the house to mail the copy edits back to Kensington. And as I was congratulating myself for actually being awake, showered, made-up, etc. before noon, my sunny mood disappeared because of the woman driving in front of me.

Was it that she was talking on the phone while also talking to her companion and waving her hands around and therefore driving like an idiot? Nope. It was her bumper sticker: MARRIAGE. ONE MAN. ONE WOMAN. SUPPORT THE FEDERAL MARRIAGE AMENDMENT.

Okay, Bitch, here’s some advice. Please don’t come to our neighborhood to lunch with your friend/co-worker. Why? Because I don’t know why you should enjoy our queer-owned restaurants, and get waited on by a queer staff, in a section of town that has been queer polished and beautified until it is way too attractive to YOU FREAKING STRAIGHT ASSHOLES who don’t think other people should have the same rights that you do.

Then…I forced myself to take deep breaths and reminded myself that I’m a straight woman living in this neighborhood, too. I just have better bumper stickers.

Monday morning mood soured, I took care of my postal business then remembered to check the TJB post office box. This is something I have not done in FOREVER.

So, Lisa in Iowa, I apologize for being so late in getting the box of books to be signed and will take care of that promptly. But most of all, thank you for your letter. Thank you for being a married straight woman in Iowa who wrote funny and kind comments to us and proved that you have a million times the sense of fairness and probably a gazillion times the personality as Ms. Bumper Sticker. You are wonderful.

6 thoughts on “Dear Wonderful Lisa in Iowa,”

  1. Meanwhile, one of our local channels is running a series on marriage fraud and how it’s helped terrorists stay in this country. Or, better yet, some people are paid to marry so that the other party can stay in the country. Oh yeah…WE would definitely ruin the sanctity of marriage. I have news for you, oh Henny Pennies of conservatism. It’s impossible for us gays to make a mockery of marriage, because you have done a banner job of it yourselves. Remember, gays didn’t invent the term “marriage of convenience.”

  2. At work on Sunday, a lady had an argument with her daughter about “those people” and marriage and her daughter said, “Ma, there are more than a few of ‘those people’ here in the store, and right now, all you’re doing is sounding like a hateful bitch.” Her mother said, “But this is a bookstore!”

    It took everything in my power not to skip the CD to “I’m Coming Out,” and dance to the music.

    Hateful people suck. I’m sorry you had a cruddy day.

    1. “But this is a bookstore!”

      Bah ha ha, I can’t stop laughing at that.

      It got better, and thank you. We all have them, huh?

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