Hope is the thing with feathers

I’ve wanted for a while to add a small Buddha to Aaron’s Garden. Did that today, and Lisa B, when I went to place it, a feather waited in its spot for you.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –

And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –

I’ve heard it in the chillest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.

Emily Dickinson

A place without boundaries


Aaron Buchanan Cochrane
December 19, 1993 – April 25, 2012

Grief is a place without boundaries
So it seems in its vastness
You think you’ve left it behind
Seen the last of it in your rearview mirror
Only to round a corner and find
You’re still there
Grief might want a separation
As much as you do
The truth is the two of you
Found a home in each other

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255

Eggs

It was seven years ago this week when our nephew Aaron died. As I follow our various nieces and nephews on social media, and their children, my grand-nieces and -nephews, I often think about the things he’d be doing. I see how devoted they are to their friends–and he had many friends who loved him–and siblings–as was Aaron–and the varied activities they pursue and their accomplishments. Several are graduating from high school this year, as he would have in 2012 just weeks after his death.

Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by all I have to do, and I have to step back and give myself breathing room. Reading their posts helps, and so does doing anything creative. Mary, my wonderful mother-in-law, sent us all a sheet of eggs she drew for Easter in case any of us might be in the mood to color. That would be me, for sure…

As I colored an egg, I thought about Aaron and his many lovable qualities. He was kind, smart, talented, and funny. He brought new music and TV shows into my life. He was a gift for so many reasons.

Over the years, Mary has sent other eggs. I took a photo of some of the wooden ones she crafted that are part of my big jar of eggs. The two pairs on the bottom left and right were part of a group of eggs I decorated with bits of fabric and gave to friends sometime in 1991 or 1992.

The egg is a symbol of new life and potential, but also of the circle of life. There are things I’ll never understand, but I know that Aaron’s spirit goes on surrounded by love.

National Hopeline Network: 1-800-442-HOPE (4673)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Youth Crisis Hotline: Text RISE to 741741 in the United States