The Christmas Coasters


I first talked about the Christmas coasters in 2005. Part two of that year was here.

In 2006, it happened like this.

The drama continued in 2008. By Christmas’s end, Lynne had the coasters, and I had much to fear when Tom and I went to Green Acres this year on Christmas afternoon. Among other gifts, I got my traditional ugly pig ornament from Jess and Laura. I got all kinds of other good stuff. By the time we finished exchanging presents, what I did NOT get was the coasters. FREE FOR ANOTHER YEAR. Or at least until my birthday in March.

Then I heard those dreaded words from Lynne: “There’s another package next to the TV.”

I KNEW it. With much anxiety, I took the package. But it was light–way too light to have coasters in it. And so was my heart, until I opened the package and…

Damn. It was the little wooden coaster holder, with the first clue of a treasure hunt taped to it.

“If I don’t follow the clues, I don’t end up with the coasters,” I said, feeling all smug.

“If you don’t follow the clues, you don’t get your big present,” Lynne said.

But I’d ALREADY gotten a bunch of presents, including what I thought was my big present, a rotary cutting mat and cutter to help me with next year’s Project Runway challenges. Because if there’s anything Lynne, like many of my talented friends, will do, it’s encourage my creativity.

Coasters…another present…coasters…another present…

I followed clues that took me–picking up a coaster at each stop–from the freezer to Lynne’s recipe book, to the garden shed, to the garage, to the mailbox, to the cake pan closet, and finally to Lynne’s bedroom, to her mother’s old jewelry box (which Lynne accidentally shot with her shotgun, but that’s another story). So I’m looking in this poor, battered jewelry box for something small, while Tom, Lynne, Jess, Laura, and even Lila and the dogs are rolling their eyes behind me. Because the present that I was totally missing was MUCH LARGER–it couldn’t even fit in a breadbox, much less a jewelry box.


Here, my shiny new present from Lynne is being shown off by the wooden artist’s model Tim gave me (and he’s standing on my cutting board).

FASHIONISTAS–IT’S ON!

It was definitely worth getting those freaking coasters back. There’s always next year, after all, and until then, I DID give Lynne this precious little item I found in a junk store. Heh heh.

28 thoughts on “The Christmas Coasters”

  1. Whoa! I wish sewing machines didn’t terrify me, otherwise I’d have one by this point, too! Congratulations! It looks sweeeeet. And I keep meaning to get a wooden model like that. I have one, but he’s much smaller.

    Would you believe every year the “coaster entry” takes me by surprise? I forget all about that tradition of you guys.

    1. There are 46 pages of instructions! I’m going to need a lot more Starbucks.

      What I can’t believe is that I still have the lemon slice coasters and now the lime slice coasters, too. I was so excited about the melon tealight holder and the melon salt shaker that I inflicted on gave to Lynne that I forgot I had some coasters to unload, too. Next year I have to think of two creative ways to torment gift Lynne and Laura.

      Last year’s dishes went to Marika, who likes them! That was a story with a happy ending.

  2. Dah Big Present

    Oh look!!! An exact replica of the lost grail from Starbucks!

    (LOL, ’tis a running joke because I see those things on the shelves at Marshalls and TJMaxx every time, and crude “customers” don’t take their stuff with them.)

    Nice sewing machine!!! YEAY!!! =)->-&lt

    1. Re: Dah Big Present

      I see that all the time, too! People’s cups left behind, tucked into the unlikeliest of places. What is up with that?

      Maybe that should be a future photo project: Found Cups.

    1. A transformer idea: sewing machine that turns into a shotgun. It would add a whole new element to Project Runway. ‘Cause Kenley Collins with a shotgun…EEK!

  3. Brother makes sewing machine/ I thought they were the typewriter people … sorta ties the writing and sewing together! Oh, and don’t think I won’t make you sew backs on Christmas ornaments.

    1. What I want to know is–how did you discover this tradition? Eat well, shit strong and don’t be afraid of death! is as good a motto as most.

  4. Oh the plotting and the scheming that goes on . . .

    What a wonderful story and truly one of those things that comes out of close friendship.

    Your cousin would be kicking herself if she knew how much joy you had all got from those simple coasters!

    But this year’s gift surpasses all – enjoy!

    1. This year’s gift, like the coasters, will be one of those that keeps on giving. I’ll definitely enjoy it–and try not to sew up my finger! Thanks.

    1. I think it begins January 14–I’m not sure I’ll have mastered the machine by then, but hopefully can start using it and will get better during the season.

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