He’s tearing me apaaaaaart…

I should have been suspicious.

I was hard at work designing the promotional bookmarks for THREE FORTUNES IN ONE COOKIE. The first version seemed a little questionable to me, and I asked Tom’s opinion. He said it was “gay as a box of rice.” Since I didn’t know what that meant, I traipsed across the back of The Compound to Tim’s apartment to see what he thought. In the rain. (Yay, rain! Make my beneficial nematodes LIVE and eat flea larva!)

I knocked. Tim never answered. “Hmmm,” I thought. “He’s either upstairs watching back-to-back episodes of ‘Full House,’ or he’s in the shower or something.”

I came back home. I stared at the bookmark for a while. I made some changes that I liked. Tom liked the new version, too, and gave me no weird comparisons that I didn’t understand. Still, I wanted my writing partner’s opinion, as these bookmarks advertise his novel, too.

Again I went to Tim’s apartment, and this time it wasn’t raining. Knocked. Again, no answer. Now clearly he wasn’t taking a shower an hour later, but maybe ‘Roseanne’ or something was so loud that he couldn’t hear me. I don’t like pounding on the door, so I came home and got my key.

When I let myself in, River greeted me with joy. “Strange,” I thought, “that River would be downstairs if Tim’s upstairs watching TV.”

Only then Tim came out of the bathroom. Before I could tell HIM not to scream because I was unexpectedly standing in his apartment, he told ME not to scream. Why?

Because HE CUT OFF ALL HIS HAIR!

I didn’t scream. I shaved the back of his neck for him and evened up his hairline. I admitted that it looked good. I begged him not to shave before I could take pictures tomorrow, because I like the contrast between his short hair and his shadowy face.

HE CUT OFF ALL HIS HAIR!

On the plus side, he had to tell me he liked the bookmarks so I wouldn’t burst into tears.