I know what you’re thinking. It’s time for me to close down this LJ because how can I top a poem written to a vegetable that I don’t even like?
You’re right. I should end it here. Trust me, I’ve been tempted to do just that many times over the past few months.
Instead, I won’t.
When Lynne drove us to New Orleans a few weeks ago, she asked me to get a piece of gum from her purse. I pulled out a pack of Dentyne, and she was all, “Not THAT gum. The other gum.” So I began digging around in her purse again, passing over what looked like a chic pack of condoms. (Well, honestly, everyone should have condoms at all times, even if just to hand them to a friend at a significant moment, and one doesn’t question a woman about what’s in her purse. In fact, one doesn’t even look in another person’s purse, except under orders or in case of an urgent need of insulin, nitroglycerin, or a Kleenex. But if Lynne had ever bossed YOU around, you’d know to damn well do what she says.)
Lynne: It’s a small black square.
Becky: Oh, THIS? I thought this was a pack of condoms.
Lynne: [squelching look]
Becky: Okay, this is about the most sophisticated pack of gum ever. How does it work?
Lynne: [heavy sigh] Turn it over and open it.
So yesterday, while in Office Depot getting paper because I’m printing A COVENTRY WEDDING (no, it’s not finished–Hi, John!–but it’s being edited and getting finished today and tomorrow), I spotted Lynne’s brand of gum at the impulse buy display. I followed my impulse and bought it.
Probably those of you who watch TV instead of working nonstop on your manuscript–Hi, again, John!–except for moments that must be shared with LJ, have seen the commercials for “5,” which Wrigley officially introduced in the U.S. last summer.
I am always months behind. As my editor could tell you.
Edit: Hump Day Happy will return next week. You’re all feeling just a little more secure now, admit it.
So glad you’re almost done. I wish I could say the same. 🙁
At least you don’t have to also say that you’ve had to get three extensions over the last year.
You’ll do it! (Finish, not ask for three extensions.)
Very cool. What’s it taste like?
The spearmint is pretty intense. It’s sugar free, which I normally can chew only a short time before it has to go–which is true of this brand, too.
stride gum has a similar fancy packaging. who knew gum needed to be so tricky?
but for condoms that’d be a pretty spiffy box.
Now that’s a sophisticated-looking pack of gum! Just what I’d expect a couple of proper Southern belles to be carrying.
Nah, don’t feel self-conscious about the content of your blog. I think a lot of blogs accurately reflect the nature of life: sometimes entries are about something important, sometimes not, sometimes sad, mad, or glad. I like it when people write about stuff like not liking a certain food or other minutae. Our lives are mostly made up of a lot of small stuff, so it’s often entertaining when we read others write about these topics. To paraphrase Anthony Hopkins as C.S. Lewis, “We blog to know were not alone.”
I couldn’t buy that … it reminds me of that Axe cologne, and I don’t imagine that tastes very good. Will I be able to keep regular old Juicy Fruit?
I’m sure you will. I don’t think the standards–Spearmint, Peppermint, Juicy Fruit–are gone. These are just a way to make more money on classy packaging which is probably decimating rain forests and causing global warming as I chew.
I won’t buy it, but I will mooch yours!
Congratulations on nearing the finish line. : )
Chewing gum and Brussels sprouts are fine, but I look back fondly on the wind-lashed power of entries like this one, and hope for such, in the coming days.
I’m so glad you linked, I got to see Lucky one more time
Wow, I haven’t seen that one here yet. I’m hopelessly addicted to Orbitz Mint Mojito.
Okay, seriously, is that real? I ask because I saw a pina colada gum …
Mojito. Mojito.
It’s the funnest word ever.
You know, I went to high school with Mo Jito. Nice guy.
Merciful heavens, you’re channeling Jim, aren’t you?
Well, he IS dead to me.
ROFL. Good one.
ha ha
i think i agree!
Um.
That gum looks like it could survive being tossed out of a space-ship and hurtled through re-entry while only getting slightly singed.
Is the gum good? I can’t eat gum anymore.
Enh. I have no passion for gum. I mostly don’t chew it because I have a bad tendency to swallow it.
I’ve decided I need gum that looks like a package of condoms. Need it, I tell ya! If I can scandalize just one person, it’s totally worth the price.
Now available at a store near you!
I am NOT bossy. I just know how to get things done.
My gum is the cinnamon flavor. It is intense but very good. The flavor actually lasts quite a long time.
I just know how to get things done.
Yeah, yeah. That’s what I meant. Heh heh.