I began last year trying to get a better handle on racism in this country. I’ve grappled with it my entire life. When I cried on election night in 2008, it was because I thought, At last. Real change. We are moving forward from our painful history.
Then for the next eight years I saw racism, bigotry, and prejudice articulated and escalated in ways I could never have dreamed. For me personally, the most hurtful part was when I heard it from people I’d respected and loved. The most uncomfortable part was when I spoke up and knew my words were dismissed or I heard the coded words and arguments that are the mantras of bigots.
That hurt is nothing like the hurt of being on the receiving end of racism. The discomfort is nothing compared to the discomfort of living while black, knowing each day will bring some reminder of racism, bigotry, and prejudice.
Below is taken from a Twitter account and was posted in 2019. I’ve gone back in time so you can know it’s not in reaction to this year, this date, this crisis.
“The beauty of anti-racism is that you don’t have to pretend to be free of racism to be an anti-racist. Anti-racism is the commitment to fight racism wherever you find it, including in yourself. And it’s the only way forward.” — Ijeoma Oluo, author
I’ve long wanted to write a post about the difference between racism and prejudice. This is not that post. This is me attempting to convey that now is not the time for debate. Now is not the time for political posturing and denials. Now is not the time for rebuttals of “whataboutism” and “reverse racism” and “all lives matter.” Now is not the time to ask your colleagues and friends and neighbors or complete strangers who are black or brown or African American or people of color to explain to you or exonerate you or educate you. There is a wealth of information on the internet and in your library and bookstore where you can get your education.
When people are tired and hurt and angry and scared and, yes, even conflicted, don’t ask them to take on your baggage, too. Don’t tell them why they’re wrong. How they’re doing it wrong.
If you want to use your voice, don’t direct it to those who already know because they live it. Join with those who stand next to them. Join with those who speak up for them where speaking up won’t be comfortable. Help feed. Help clean up. Help take care of a child or an elderly family member. Give somebody a ride. For that matter, give somebody a wave, a nod, a smile.
ETA: You can also donate. Find an organization that helps and give any amount. It will be appreciated.
If you can’t help and you can’t speak and you can’t stand, there’s one thing you can do. Listen. Just listen. For once, you don’t have to be louder, more right, more clever, more informed.
Just listen.