I actually did this on Facebook, but figured I’d share it here, too. In no particular order, 15(ish) movies that almost made me stop liking movies:
1. A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon. The only good thing about this one was that Tom and I saw it at the Dollar Movie, and the tub o’popcorn was cheap, too.
2. The Godfather, Part III. You realize how thoroughly a sequel’s ruined a franchise for you when you don’t care that a Corleone daughter is gunned down.
3. The Last House on the Left. The original one. It forever killed my desire to score a joint from a stranger on an adventure in the city with my BFF.
4. Big Trouble in Little China. Sorry, Marika, but if I could have those 99 minutes with Tom, Tim, Lisa, and Mark back, anything would be more fun. Except that Jimmy Reardon movie.
5. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. You know, it may not even be Jar Jar Binks. But sometimes late at night, my mind still fumbles with the convoluted queen/decoy thing. Probably because I’ve endured this movie only once.
6. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. I only remember this because someone else mentioned it. Though it did give Lynne and me the chance to start many, many sentences with, “You know, my old man told me, before he left this shitty world…”
7. I only watch movies with dogs if someone assures me the dog doesn’t get it. So any movie with a stealthy dog death makes this list, and I can’t name one because I probably required memory-erasing therapy after seeing it. Wait–didn’t a dog die in that movie with John Travolta as an angel? Quick! My Vicodin!
8. I think Russell Crowe must have killed my dog in a former life, because if he’s in it, I just can’t bear to watch it.
9. Nine Months. I think that’s how long the movie lasted, too. When good actors get talked into doing bad things.
10. Bedazzled. When bad actors get talked into doing worse things.
11. Queen of the Damned. Dreadful.
12. Rhinestone. Why, Dolly, WHY?
13. A Clockwork Orange. Yeah, I know. Whatever.
14. Jabberwocky. Do they take the Internet away from me if I don’t like something with tenuous connections to Monty Python?
15. The War of the Roses. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.
Haters will always hate … one of the worst, really? I think you exaggerate because that movie is HILARIOUS. When he knocks himself out – how I laugh!
but I am with you on 3 an 5 … just watched 13 tonight … and I am stealing this.
But see, I don’t say they’re the worst. They are just movies that almost made ME stop liking movies. Your mileage may vary.
Though with BTILC, you’re just wrong.
How can you hate on Kurt?
It’s not about Kurt. It’s about that lousy movie he was in. Seriously, how does one go from The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes to… Oh. Never mind.
KIDDING! He was in Silkwood and The Mean Season before the lousy movie, right?
Speaking of, The Mean Season scared the living crap out of me. I don’t watch suspense! EEP.
The Mean Season warrants an EEP? The Hills Have Eyes would have done you in. Notice that Escape From LA is on my list – John Carpenter and Kurt Russell who did BTILC together, so I am not completely blinded by them.
You know, there are some good suspenseful mysteries etc that you really may enjoy…
No. I really can’t do suspense. Trust me.
I should say The Hills have Eyes is NOT Suspense, unless you consider being hunted by a deformed cannibalistic family suspensful… I call it horror.
I don’t do suspense, horror, graphic violence, rarely action, and generally not a lot of physical humor or adolescent boy gags–I’m very vanilla in my movie tastes. If the plot is slow or stupid, I can take comfort in good acting or good costuming or epic scenery.
As long as no dog dies.
Becky, I am sorry. Marika is right, Big Trouble in Little China is one of the greatest movies of all time.
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.”
My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, there’d be people who’d try to explain Big Trouble in Little China‘s appeal to me…
THANK YOU
You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we’re not back by dawn… call the president.
Do you remember when Arsenio Hall had Michael Douglas on as a guest when he was promoting this movie and Hall gave away the ending of The War of the Roses? You could tell Douglas wanted to kill him.
I went to see The Godfather III with two of my friends when it came out in 1990. In 1989 I had read The Godfather novel and just loved it. I hardly remember anything about the movie. I’m going to have to sit down and rewatch it because you constantly hear what a disappointment it was.
I vaguely remember that Arsenio Hall story, but I don’t think I actually saw it. What was he thinking?
I love the first two Godfather movies SO SO much. And I wanted to like the third, but it didn’t measure up. Michael Corleone is such a grandly flawed character, and they made him weak and dull. It should have been so much better.
Hated War of the Roses too, miserable movie.
So many people love it. That makes me hate it all the more.
And to be honest.. whispers… I’ve never been a big Monty Python fan either… there I’ve said it!
You’re living on the edge!
Haha I know it! I’ll be kicked out of home if G sees what I wrote.
Your secret is safe with me.
“Turner and Hooch” —
When the dog died the entire theater literally
screamed “NOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
Tom Hanks admits it was a dreadful mistake. No s…
Sherlock!
And that right there is why I never saw Turner and Hooch. I was warned.
Not even Stuart Townsend in low slung jeans could redeem Queen of the Damned.
War of the Roses wore me out.
Phantom Menace… I think I fell asleep.
And at the risk of losing Marika forever, I have never seen nor had the desire to see BTILC.
You won’t lose her. The group of us gave Marika so much crap for inflicting BTILC on us–it’s possible she only stayed friends with us to try to win us over, though, ’cause periodically she brings its greatness up again.
…because I can’t believe that I actually know people who don’t appreciate the greatness of BTILC I sometimes wonder how it happened. Jack Burton and The Pork Chop Express are epic.
Yay! Another Jabberwocky hater!
As to No.8 – my celeb would have to be Nicole Kidman (and she’s not Australian, regardless of what people may think, thank God)!
Great list, Becky 🙂
Thanks–I’m glad we are of one mind on Jabberwocky–also, I’m not really a Nicole Kidman fan either.