Checking in

Back in June, I talked about a print I ordered from Jon Armstrong’s Etsy shop. I got it almost immediately after I ordered it–that Jon is efficient as well as brilliant and talented–but it went into the pile of “I’ll take care of this later” stuff.

Later came, and I took it to have it matted and framed. It looks so fantastic with the glass mosaic piece done by another gifted artist, Rachael Walker.

Like this:


If the mat looks crooked to you, it’s an illusion caused by the slant of the windowsill in the photograph. It’s a beautiful piece and I’m very pleased with its frame and mat.

The kitchen is between my office and the dining room, but this is what I see in the dining room whenever I turn to the right:

Rachael’s and Jon’s creations are next to two of Tim’s paintings. The cabinet was custom-made for us by a craftsman in the Heights who I don’t think is there anymore. The box on top of the cabinet was a gift from James, and holds all kinds of little treasures (including the tiny braid Tim sent me from New York the first time he cut off all his long hair). On the upper right is an edge of one of five collages done by my friend Geof depicting the fall of Troy. They were Steve’s, and after he died, Geof gave them to me. The border at the ceiling was hand-stamped by Tom when we painted the room back in 1997.

I certainly know talented people.

Some of the other things on the “later” list that I’ve been trying to do, in addition to helping develop a couple of TJB book ideas to send to our editor, include:

Wrapping.

Making the most perfect corn muffins ever (no sugar!) to go with a delicious beef stew.

Shredding. Every paper in this pile represents a visit to a doctor or a pharmacist over the last four years.

And this would be the pile of the papers I needed to shred pertaining to medical, residential, and financial correspondence and documents.

After all that shredding, I have plenty of packing material. And oddly, the shredded paper has my mother’s scent, probably because about half of it has been in the same box since it came from her apartment.

Now I tell you this not so you can say, “Oh, Becky, you took such good care of your mother.” Because frankly, as overwhelming as it often seemed when I was in the middle of it, it wasn’t anywhere near as taxing as it could have been. Had she remained in good physical health, she could have lived for years with Alzheimer’s and I’d have had to continue to lose her bit by bit. Coping with doctors and hospitals, managing medication, and other caregiving was minimal compared to what some people endure. Plus none of it hit me financially, thanks to my mother’s frugal lifestyle and my father’s retirement/survivor benefits. Though it wasn’t always a walk in the park with my mother, she willingly stopped driving and sold her car, made her own decisions about quality of life, handed over her checkbook, and sometimes even refrained from arguing with me, although I tried her patience when she was mentally sharp and bewildered her on her bad days. And finally, I had one HELL of a support system, including Tom and Tim, my sister, brother, sister-in-law, my Tom in-laws, and our friends. In fact, I plan to talk about a few of those friends in a Thanksgiving Day post, so you’ll just have to wait.

Overall, my four years were not as catastrophic as what other people with aging and ill parents cope with. And though some of y’all are checking on me because of that holiday-grief thing, I’m okay. And when I’m not, help is as close as the recliner in the living room, the TimLair, the four dogs who make my world brilliant, and the phone.

I do kind of miss That Old Woman, though.

35 thoughts on “Checking in”

  1. Amazing, your dining room is the same color as my favorite gallery at the Art Museum

    Thats the color I’m going to paint my mom’s old bedroom when I turn it into mine. Don’t know why it’s taking me so long — it’s been empty for two years. And your mom really was a classy lady.
    As to you new art … TOTALLY love it!

    1. I love that color green, because it has a blue tone to it. Originally, we’d looked at greens more in the hunter green spectrum, but this was the one we both liked most.

      Thanks for your kind words.

      My mother was quite a woman, as I know yours was, too. As for that empty room, you’ll paint it when it’s time. Take those steps as you can.

  2. As always, I adore seeing your photographs.

    The photo of you with your mother is beautiful. You both look wonderfully happy. I know her pride for you must have been immense.

    *hugs*

  3. I really like the photograph you got from Jon. It does go really well with the rest of your art on that wall.

    You’re so organized! All that wrapping done! I’m still in the process of deciding what I’m going to get people on my list. (I still have to decide what the girls are going to wear for their Thanksgiving card!)

    Stew and corn meal muffins sound good. I plan on making some stew from the leftover roast we have for thanksgiving and the muffins always just goes so well with it.

    Another great picture of you and your mother. You have the same smile. 🙂

      1. That was one of my favorite signings–for I’M YOUR MAN. There were two photographers and lots of people there. Some of the best photos of my friends are from that night, and it was the first time some of them had met after many years of hearing stories about each other.

          1. Have you read IT HAD TO BE YOU and HE’S THE ONE? Just asking because they’re numbers one and two and I’M YOUR MAN is three. Some people wish they’d read them in order.

    1. I am organized–usually. I’ve been my most disorganized for the past two years. It’s time for the madness to stop! I’m going to RECLAIM MY ORGANIZATION.

      My stew was from leftover roast, too. Doesn’t it just hit the spot sometimes?

      Thanks for all the compliments. =) I can’t want to see Sophie and Phoebe: Thanksgiving.

      1. LOL. Mom’ll acutally make hers today probably, so I can do the dressing tomorrow. So I’m hoping tot alk her into bringing me a hunk to eat on my break at the store tonight.

  4. I was JUST talking about your mom with some friends; and then I came home to read this. It made me smile.

    And the print looks fantastic on that wall. I’m going to love sitting on that window seat even more now.

  5. As always, I admire your taste – and the composition is wonderful.

    Looking forward to your Thanksgiving post; but it’s nice that you can write about your mother with feeling, still, and not let things overwhelm you.

    That’s a wonderful photograph of the two of you – you certainly did inherit her looks.

        1. I am a belle: A true belle knows how to make you think something’s been offered freely because you NEVER SEE THE PRICE COMING AT YOU. Ha.

          Giving and giving is not my worst fault. 😉

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