Hump Day Happy

 

 

I was recently perusing 14,0000 Things to Be Happy About and noticing how many of the Things seemed a bit dated. My edition of the book was from 1990, after all, when more than five of my readers could still remember Things like Bonwit Teller, David Brenner, and the phrase, “You turkey!”

Never say I’m not good to you. I recently acquired the 2007 version of 14,000 Things to Be Happy About, in which around 1,500 old Things were replaced with more up-to-date Things (sounds like the Playboy mansion). This also means that the order is not what it used to be so go ahead, use your birthdays again; you might see something new. Just remember that only works once.

Anyone–even Anonymous–need not be shy about giving me a page number between 1 and 611, and another number between 1 and 25. After all, as the Pet Shop Boys have taught us, “Happiness is an option.”

You see what? A plastic hamster? Have you been drinking?

49 thoughts on “Hump Day Happy”

  1. OK, so I couldn’t see the plastic hamster –will this become an additional Hump Day Happy feature? If so I can send Trex for a visit. His real name is Rex, but I wouldn’t want to get him confused with Rexford.

    If you would Page 145 Item 9

      1. Oh that’s lovely! 🙂 And as a bonus, it’s still Wednesday (being in a different time zone often means I do hump day happy on Thursday).

      1. Re: (Story idea alert!)

        Hmmm…

        Mrs. Anderson couldn’t decide where to put the new bookcase.

        “For Christ’s sake, Mavis, would you pick a goddamn wall already!” her husband said. “This fella doesn’t have all day.”

        Mrs. Anderson looked down at her husband, who in the thirty years she had been married to him seemed to grow shorter with each passing birthday, and then turned to look out the large picture window in her living room.

        Rick had come highly recommended. Sylvia Martin said she could still see his handiwork all over the headboard he’d build for her, and Gloria Bennett raved about her new dining room table which, she assured, “could hold the weight of a grown man and then some.”

        As if he knew he was being watched the muscular young man in Mrs. Anderson’s driveway looked up, and he smiled at his employer as he unloaded her new bookcase from his pickup truck.

        Mrs. Anderson smiled back, assured, she had seen Rick’s smile before. When she asked him if her new shelves would hold her extensive collection of the Kama Sutra, when she told him to feel free to work shirtless if he got too hot, and when she mentioned that her husband would be playing golf tomorrow. All day.

        Mrs. Anderson knew Rick would wait.

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