There are two ways of looking at the world. You’re either one of the people who disagrees that there are two ways of looking at the world, or you’re one of the people who agrees that there are two ways of looking at the world.
However, that’s not the point of this post.
At 2006 Saints & Sinners, Tim and I were on a panel discussing romance in fiction. We (half)jokingly said that, despite the times when love did us wrong, because I’m straight, I still believe in the possibility of gay romance and can write it. And because he’s gay, he still believes in the possibility of straight romance and can write it. Together, two of the least romantic people on the planet can deliver a plausible love story with a happy ending.
Yes, it’s true. Though I shouldn’t speak for him, Tim and I are of the “please don’t give me any surprises,” “I don’t want you to send me flowers,” “grand gestures make my stomach hurt,” “some people want to fill the world with silly love songs,” “wine? candlelight? you’re breaking up with me?” variety of people. And I think it’s BECAUSE of this that we like the challenge of writing romance. We want to see if our characters can seduce US into believing in curl-your-toes love and happy endings.
It’s not really that we want to convince the world that lovers can live happily ever after in a shiny place of joy and joyness where unicorns run free (with both kidneys intact). We’re all careening every day toward one ending, after all, and most of us don’t know when, as Mark G. Harris might say, the anvil’s going to hit us. But while we’re here, why’s it okay to believe that we COULD get that job, that house, that car, that promotion, that iPhone, that book deal, that recording contract, that Oscar, those BBQ Fritos, and yet somehow not okay to believe that we could get that friend, that lover, and that ONE MOMENT when love is real and we know, we KNOW, that no one’s ever felt this way before and it’ll last forever?
It’s not easy to write about romance in a snarky world. And maybe it’s foolhardy to write romance which is not all about sex, since “they say” sex sells. It’s not trendy to write stories in which friends and lovers don’t betray, belittle, and behead each other and bury the body under the koi pond.
But I can’t help myself. It’s not that I don’t see reality. I’m just one of the people who wants to sweeten my reality with–I believe it was Jeremy who said it to Adam in HE’S THE ONE–a spoonful of possibility.
Love, today, goes along with Peter Pan’s Tinkerbell. “I believe in fairies, I do I do,” and all the while, we clap our hands hard and loud, because we want to believe in fairies. In this cynical world, this gal, me, believes in love and romance. I have it in my life. It personally happens to me with Bob. We are romantic. I don’t post about all that romantic love stuff often because it would belittle the experience that he and I have together. I love reading romance. I enjoy the tenseness, the expectations, the hopes, of love coming to fruition in a story. With all the bad going on out there, I think romance would be sought after, almost to the point of becoming addictive.
I believe in love, I do I do.
Oh, heavens, don’t get me wrong. I believe in LOVE. Love is everything.
It’s romance that makes my inner skeptic leap up and say, “Run away, run away!” That’s what makes writing it fun.
Oh I know you believe in love. By your post is seems very apparent. I was just saying that I believe in it too, even when some things in this world are going to pot. I am very cynical. But, in love, I am not. I think it’s funny in some ways. Before I met Bob, I didn’t want a boyfriend. I just wanted to have sex, and not be involved with anyone. Then BAM! I met him and here we are. Love is many a splendid thing.
again with the unicorns…
You love the unicorns beyond all imagining. You are getting sleeeeepy… You are out trying to find BBQ Fritos…
I’m one of those people who tends to be cynical and pessimistic about everything BUT love and romance. I can rant and rave until the manticores come home about how the world is going to hell in a chamberpot, and how our government is trying its damnedest to perform acts on us that were heretofore reserved for adult-rated prison shower scenes…
But when it comes to the idea of finding that one person with whom you can spend the rest of your life, and who appears with trumpets and a bolt of lightning and can sweep you off your feet while curling your toes with that one perfect kiss, I’m a total Nurse Nellie…a dyed-in-the-wool “cockeyed optimist”. Which is probably why I enjoy the TJB books and their ilk as much as I do.
I could have written your first paragraph! And in this world, I NEED things that make me feel happy and hopeful from books and movies.
I happen to LOVE the idea of love and romance … even though i have never ever had a relationship that worked out, and most of them left me a simpering mass of goo broken hearted and sobbing.
My last romance was quite some time ago, and for about a month I thought that it was love, and that I could do the married thing, but then decided no — it wasn’t … but that realization made me enjoy it that much more. It was filed with grand gestures and it was wonderful
As a woman, enjoy all the good stuff about love and relationships. And as a writer, sneak traits of the ones who did you wrong into a dislikable character here and there; it’s the best revenge. =)
Love the new header!
And trust me evil Daniella Pierce that appears in Chapter one is so based on a real person …. I’m going to have to change her up a bit so she won’t know herself. Should PK be published I won’t be able to tour in Atlanta — in case she shows up
Well, as it’s always been told to me, people never recognize themselves in vile characters, only good ones. Which works out well for everyone.
Don’t ever stop writing this stuff the way you do. Did you recognize my quote earlier today? That line stopped me cold. I had to just put the book down and imagine what it would be like to have someone say that to me. I was recently having a conversation about the romance aspect in Michael Tolliver Lives and that person made me realize that I’m not alone in my expectations, high though they may be.
I did recognize your quote and appreciated the way you and Mark reacted to it. That scene evokes a lot of memories about the novel and the writing Timothy and I did, but I want to leave the magic alone.
It was your post that caused me to write this one. And it’s reactions like yours and Mark’s that help me keep writing during times when writing isn’t easy. Thank you.
Glad I could help you realize the impact you have . =0) Like I said…. keep on doin’ what ya do.
I have to visit this journal more often, I am always the last one to contribute and always a few days after everyone else stopped thinking about the topic lol.
ANYWAY, I have been married over 20 years. Romance = making sure we have the darn $50,000 a year to pay for college starting NOW. It means getting children on time to concerts, swim meets, the store to buy that last minute ink cartridge five minutes before closing time. Love means sticking it out through the tension of college applications, and bar mitzvah preparations, and work tribulations all of which take a toll. In the end, love and romance become part of the family we have created together. It also means standing together beaming when our son walked down to receive his diploma, when our daughter recited her lines perfectly, when we celebrated having her first short story published at 13! So that’s life.
In fiction … Jane Green is my favorite beach read. She always wrote about finding “true love.” But as she is getting older so are her characters. They are no longer trying to find the one they love and want to marry, but rather evaluating their married lives and not always finding happiness. I dunno – I liked the old stories better, they were the escape I wanted. I KNOW a marriage is not always the unexpected roses but more the unexpected IRS letter lol.
Anyway, you two keep doing what you are doing because I NEED YOU.
Michelle
Hmm… really?
Well color me the faithful romantic/hopeful optimist/ever-living expect-or of 24/7 bliss. And color me naive all day, every day until your arms fall off, if you so wish; but I can’t imagine ever settling for less (Not that I consider anyone who isn’t down for that, “settling.” I only say that in response to my own, highly abnormal standards.).
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a huge cynic hangin’ out down there, too; but she’s kind of a pussy. And the romantic never fails to kick her ass when she’s not in line.
I absolutely think that there are people left in the world who send flowers, open doors, sweep you off your feet and love your mother as a way of life; and not just as a passing honeymoon phase (or a ticket into your pants). I happen to know a few. Or, perhaps I’m the one who doesn’t quite see reality. Though, I think that I have a good grasp on reality; but instead of going with it, I’d rather give the anvil the proverbial finger while I enjoy my box of heart-shaped chocolates. 😉
And hopefully this doesn’t come out as criticism in any shape or form, because a.) not my intent, and b.) I absolutely love the way you see and write things where love and romance are concerned. 🙂
But that’s simply why I read books – to find the romance (gay or straight) that doesn’t appear in my ‘real life’.
It’s a marvellous thing to find a book so full of romance you can just fall into it, weep and sigh with it, laugh with it and learn from it, and know that nothing so beautiful will ever happen in life, but for the time of reading, you’re the happiest person on earth.
Just keep writing. Romance lives through you wonderful authors, your imaginations and your books!!