Saturday in the park…sort of…

I woke early this morning feeling like hammered wolf crap. So I did what any sensible person would do. I got up, brushed my teeth, applied a clay mask to my face and cucumber slices to my tired eyes, and went back to bed. I vaguely remember hearing Tom say, “No, Guinness. That’s not a doggie snack.” She must have listened because the slices were still there when I woke up later to chisel the plaster from my face.

After officially getting up, showering, etc., I was drinking coffee (in my Starbucks travel tumbler; too generic to photograph) and taking a break from Coventry when it occurred to me that a couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in a Starbucks on Columbus Avenue, cursing the gods of wireless disconnections. In honor of that memory, it seems like a good time to publish the rest of my New York photos.

On Friday, Tim and I went to Book Expo. We got to meet and talk to some folks at the Haworth booth and pick up a catalog of forthcoming titles.

Haworth is, of course, the publisher of MOONLIGHT AND ROSES: MEN ROMANCING MEN. When this book comes out, you’ll be able to read stories from (alphabetically by author last name) Shawn Anniston, n8an (‘Nathan Burgoine), Famous Author Rob Byrnes, Joel Derfner, markgharris (Mark G. Harris), Trebor Healey, Josh Helmin, scottynola (Greg Herren), Brandon M. Long, Felice Picano, davidpnyc (David Puterbaugh), Jeffrey Ricker, John H. Roush, and Rob Williams.

We also saw some other folks at BEA, including our editor (and FARB’s and Greg’s), John at the Kensington booth, and Greg’s and Tim’s editor Joe at the Alyson booth. We just missed meeting up with monkjoel (Joel), dammit. Across from the Alyson booth, we found Greg and Paul hanging out with Kelly and Marianne of Bywater Books.

Kelly Smith and Marianne K. Martin talking to Paul J. Willis.

While we were all talking, desayunoencama (Lawrence Schimel) joined us.

Greg Herren, Timothy J. Lambert, and Lawrence Schimel

If you’ve read Lawrence’s LJ posts about BEA, you’ll know that a big part of going is the freebies. Every publisher there is PUSHING books. I mean, that’s what they should be doing, right? So you get tons of promotional stuff and lots of free books. Lawrence was cataloging his impressive haul on LJ every day, and when he ran into us, like everyone else we saw, he said, “So, have you gotten a lot of great stuff?!?”

Tim and I, who try to travel light and own ever-growing stacks of books in our homes yet to be read, had to admit that no, we had not. Lawrence looked at us with such disappointment. We were obviously losers in the Realm of Swag. I’m sorry, Lawrence! Just to prove that ALL is not lost, at one point, I was trying to catch up with Tim when some woman shoved this in my hand.

To reward her tenacity, please visit getrealhealthyfood.com. There. I did my part.

We left BEA and Greg vowed that no one would ever believe that Tim was actually out of the house, much less in Manhattan. So I shot this photo on the street.

Greg said that proves nothing, because I COULD have a cardboard cutout of Tim that I just take around with me and make people pose with. I can’t believe he would accuse me of something like that. It’s not like he ever saw this photo from a few years ago when I hung out with a lethal weapon.

But back to New York…. Oooooohhh, chocolate!

After we left Greg and Paul, Tim met up with an old friend, then we dropped by the Ritz. I had such a good time hanging out with FARB and Brady and meeting several of their friends and acquaintances (if I start naming them, I’ll surely leave someone out, so it’s best just to pretend like I’m respecting their privacy) and talking about New York and Texas and politics and dogs and raw food and Vanessa Williams. You know, the usual.

I didn’t take any more photos that day. I think maybe I had a fever. Or I could have just been exhausted from lugging all that BEA swag around.

The next day Tim and I met up at Central Park after I left Starbucks, but I already posted park photos. Oh, all right. Here are a couple of the traditional bonus photos for TimStalkers:

After leaving the park, Cardboard Tim and I took a cab ride

and ended up here again.

Doug from Kensington was hosting a few industry people and some Kensington authors. (Thanks, Doug!) As we sat down, I called Greg, and FARB gave him directions to the bar.

Rob doesn’t actually smoke or drink. These are just props.

Fortunately, we’d made arrangements earlier to hook up with Mr. David (“Oh, Becky, of COURSE I know where the Ritz is!”) Puterbaugh. I must inform Rio if he reads this that although David is tall (6’3″), he does not tower over Timothy J. Lambert, who is 6’1″. Timothy is, in fact, sitting on a stool (Shut up, Marika!) in this photo.

Tim and David.

Tim and me with our Kensington editor, who’s always a sharp-dressed man, John Scognamiglio.

John flanked by his authors Rob Byrnes, Greg Herren, Becky Cochrane, and Timothy J. Lambert.

It’s a tradition when I’m with my guys to get a photo of them walking away from me. When I took the first one many years ago and e-mailed it to them, I was TRYING to title it ASS SHOT. But I left out an “s” so it became ASS HOT. And really, is that so wrong?

David, Timothy, and Greg walking to VYNYL Diner on Ninth and 50th/51st.

VYNYL Diner has changed locations since we wrote about it in I’M YOUR MAN, but it’s still cool, with tons of celebrity dolls in shadowboxes on the walls (Donny and Marie! Gene Simmons!), and bathrooms dedicated to particular divas. Tim, of course, used his mom’s bathroom, where he heard her music and saw her immortalized in doll form. I think Greg also used Cher. Only David can tell us if he used a bathroom and which one. In homage to SOMEONE LIKE YOU, I used the Dolly room. I failed to take photos. Sorry. Trust me, it was a profound experience.

As for NYC, that’s it!

Lindsey and Rhonda returned from Florida and came to get Sugar today. She was thrilled to see them. But the rest of the dogs were sad when she left, so I took them for a drive, because Rex has hardly been in THE CAR! this week, and that’s just wrong.

Shotgun!

Guinness enjoys a rare moment in the front seat with Rex.

Margot peeks at me from the cargo area.

On our drive, we saw this strange sight in the ‘hood.

Bronze statues of soldiers tied down with yellow straps, and one of them looks like he might have whiplash. Military fantasies are so kinky.