They’re coming to take me away

Apparently, when the Feds asked various companies who provide Internet search engines to turn over their records of all searches made during an “unspecified week,” all of them (including Yahoo) bleated a little lamblike noise that sounded remarkably like, “Okay!” Except Google, who expressed concern about protecting customer privacy (but who I suspect is probably more concerned with protecting proprietary information about how they do that thing they do).

Some sources say the unspecified week is from June or July of 2005. On a whim, I did a check of my LJ archives to see what kinds of things I was thinking about during that period. Apparently, I was thinking a lot about fleas and Bar-B-Q Fritos (and who wouldn’t be?). I visited PETA’s web site (uh-oh…we already know the Feds have had groups like PETA under surveillance). I was pondering Tom Cruise, Rupert Everett, and gay cable. (Nothing should be read into that: There is NOTHING connecting the incredibly heterosexual Tom Cruise to the dashing Rupert Everett that would be shown on LOGO.) I looked up Keith Urban’s lyrics. I looked for pictures of toothpastes and deodorants. I talked about writers Greg Herren, Rob Byrnes, Ethan Mordden, Bart Yates, Poppy Z. Brite, Timothy J. Lambert and his dog River, and Dean James.

I also bitched about Bush three times, the Supreme Court once, and the fact that my mother’s shoes were intensely scrutinized at the airport. Even worse, since the Feds’ ostensible reason for this records request is to track child p*rn–I have a post that mocks a religious billboard and quotes Pat Benatar’s “hell is for children.”

Great. You’ll know they’ve snapped on the handcuffs when I stop typing. I hope I get my novel finished first.