Work of Art 2:7

Dear Fiat:

Last week on Bravo’s Work of Art, the artists were given time to grab auto parts for your Fiat 500 and turn them into a work of art. Coincidentally, I received a packet in the mail advertising the Fiat 500. I believe this was a sign!

I decided to use bits and pieces of your sales material in my creation for the Follow Work of Art blog. Lindsey suggested that since we wouldn’t have access to Fiat car parts, we should do a sculptural piece inspired by a car or any part of a car. Mine is not a sculptural piece. It’s a fabric-and-paper-on-foam-board tribute to the Fiat 500. Here’s how it turned out:

“Hole in My Heart”

What may not be immediately apparent is that the center Fiat is actually a cut-out through which you can see cracked concrete. That, and the title, are meant to convey to you how my heart is still not over the loss of my Honda CR-V after it was totaled in April 2010. As I considered this challenge, I realized my most immediate connection to a car is: I DON’T HAVE ONE. In Houston! A city that’s just as car-centric as Los Angeles!

I figured I’d write you a letter and show you my tribute and promise you that if you give me a Fiat 500, I would blog about an adventure in it EVERY DAY FOR A YEAR! That’s advertising for you at the cost of a (reasonably priced!) car, which is probably a hundredth of a second of Super Bowl ad time.

I know what you’re thinking: We haven’t even given those Work of Art people a car, and who the hell are you anyway?

While it’s true that I don’t have the readership of some popular bloggers, let’s take a look at a few of them.

First, there’s Sure, Heather Armstrong has a ton of loyal readers, but she already does product endorsements. I’d be exclusive to Fiat! Also, she’s a mommy blogger. That means she has kids. She doesn’t need a Fiat 500, she needs a minivan or an SUV. If you gave her a Fiat, she’d probably just turn it into an apartment for her Mythical Bobcat.

Then there’s Hyperbole and A Half. When Allie Brosh posts, she gets like five thousand comments, but she blogs only every two months or so. I’m promising you 365 blog entries! Do the math: more blog for your buck.

Of course, The Bloggess also has a large readership, and Jenny Lawson would probably even promise to wear a wolf pelt while driving her free car. I don’t own a wolf pelt. I also don’t own a car. Jenny Lawson does. Enough said.

Finally, there’s The Pioneer Woman, who I don’t read. All I can say is: Look at her blog’s name! Free covered wagon? Yes! Free Fiat 500? I think not.

Clearly, in every way, I’m the more deserving recipient of a free will-blog-for car.

If you don’t agree, does one of your executives have his or her deceased aunt’s Oldsmobile taking up space in the garage? I’ll accept it in lieu of a Fiat 500, but I can’t promise that My Adventures in Aunt Susan’s Olds will have quite the appeal of My Adventures in a Fiat 500.



8 thoughts on “Work of Art 2:7”

    1. Wait–you mean this blog entry won’t be enough? This is going to be like that Condoleeza Rice thing all over again, isn’t it?

  1. Just let me know if there’s a petition or anything.
    If J-Lo’s annoying commercial worked for them, your blog following should be able to get them the opposite demographic- intelligent people, who are not 16-20 yr old males, who can read and who don’t believe there’s any car model which will cause an international superstar to want to be with them

    1. Out of a projected 50,000 cars to be sold upon the launch of Jennifer Lopez’s ad campaign, only around 15,000 were sold. Oops! Plus her Jenny in the Bronx scenes were shot in L.A.

      I think I’d be a goodwill ambassador for them at this point. Plus Rex loves to ride in the car and would happily be my sidekick whenever Tim would loan him to me.

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