People sometimes do strange things when they grieve. The stories I could tell–but I won’t, because I save the really juicy stuff about my friends for novels.
I think I’ve said on here before that I began adding Barbies to my collection after my friend Steve R died in 1992. It made perfect sense–I even KNEW what I was doing and why I was doing it. When politics and faith and hate and love and injustice and death all collide, and you lose the last shred of your innocence, it’s not so crazy to start spending your money on something that harks back to a simpler, better, less complicated time–and Barbies were a perfect symbol of that for me. A few years and a few losses later, grief finally loosened its grip on me, and the Barbie-buying compulsion stopped just as suddenly as it began.
I’m grieving now, but I’m aware of other friends who are grieving (you know who you are; call me when you’re ready), including Lynne. Monday marked the second anniversary of her husband’s death, and I’ve always contended that seconds are harder than firsts. We mentally prepare ourselves for firsts. We know they’re coming long before they get here, and we’re probably still a little numb. By seconds, we’ve stopped constantly guarding ourselves against the shocks and jolts of memory–so when those anniversaries come, not only are our defenses down, but we’re back in full-on feeling mode. Hopefully, if we’ve allowed ourselves to grieve, and we’ve channeled some of our grief into positive outlets, thirds are not as sharply felt–that doesn’t mean the sense of loss isn’t still there, but it’s not as cruel to our emotional systems three years later. As the years go by, time softens our memories, taking the edge off the painful ones and shining more light on the happier ones. This is all part of healing.
Some people actually say grief is about a two- to four-week process. I think these people may be alien life forms, but that’s not the point of this discussion. I’m not big on judging how and for how long people grieve. We do what we need to do. In my own life, I’ve found that when I emerge from my first haze of stunned loss and start feeling things more intensely, I feel ALL things more intensely. If I’m prone to cry more, I’m also inclined to laugh more. The lines between mourning and celebrating become blurred. Fortunately, although my friends are as diverse a group as I can imagine, they all have one thing in common: a sense of humor. Laughter is one of the best healing forces of all.
After Lynne took me to Mark’s on Monday night (which seems backward, as most people would have treated her; just call us rogue mourners), when I said, “I need to go Barbie shopping,” I caught her raised eyebrow and added, “No, no. It’s not like before. I want them for a wedding photo shoot, and I’ve already got plans for all the other bride-and-groom dolls I’ve shot.” Then she said, “Well, at least you’ve already had your kitchen remodeled,” and we both started giggling. That was her big pricey project after Craig’s death–though I contend that putting money into updating a home is a more sensible reaction to loss than, for example, buying a 1970ish Datsun 240z. Not that I’m saying anyone did that.
Behind the cut you can see a bit of our Monday night in photos.
First, we went to dinner at Mark’s American Cuisine. This restaurant is in my ‘hood (Rhonda and Lindsey have talked about it on their LJs before). It was once a church, and when I first knew the building, it was an upscale metaphysical shop where I bought my incense and various gift items for others and myself. As a restaurant, it’s pricey–so if one is on a budget is perhaps better left for special occasions. We were in the Cloisters area, and though you can see that and the rest of the restaurant on the link, here are a few photos I took as discreetly as possible.
The arched ceiling over me.
Looking up at the wall next to me.
Looking toward the front of the restaurant in the Cloisters section.
Fresh-cut flowers in the restroom, and oh, Tim, the women’s, at least, had the little rooms with floor to ceiling walls and doors. Perfection. 😉
Our waiter, whose name escapes me, was outstanding. I can’t really list all the dishes the way he did, but basically:
Lynne had an appetizer of tomato and cheeses and it was good, but not as good as:
My salad of sliced apricots, grapes, I don’t know what else except almonds and goat cheese. It was light and fabulous. Of course, we both shared both of our dishes with each other.
Then came the entrees. Pork tenderloin for Lynne which appears to be accompanied by sweet potato and apple concoctions:
And beef tenderloin for me.
That meat melted in my mouth. And hey, Mark, to the left, that’s some cunningly prepared squash, and that and the mushrooms and lightly garlicked mashed potatoes made this a plate of perfection for my taste buds.
We also shared a side that usually comes with one of their chicken entrees:
Those are grits. Not grits the way I learned to prepare them, but almost like a corn soup of grits–Lynne said she thought corn and grits and truffle oil. However they prepared them, they are AMAZING.
Lynne also got a blueberry something or other dessert (no photo; oops!) which I only took a couple of nibbles of. It was SO good, especially the delicate taste of the blueberry muffin ice cream. Who’d have imagined that?
Then we were off to the suburbs, where I found a cross between
the Arrow collar guy:
and Ricky Nelson:
in him:
Here’s our Ken full body.
Handsome, no?
I was looking for a redheaded Barbie, but then I found Top Model Summer.
There is also a Top Model Barbie (blonde), a Top Model Teresa (brunette), and a Top Model African American (Nikki). What interests me about the Top Model line is that they are always posed. There’s no way to straighten their bodies or their legs.
See?
and
I almost never got that freaking swimming suit on her. All those little ribbons to tie in bows are meant for young, skinny girl fingers. Not for the hands of a…thirty-five year old.
This is Summer’s other outfit that came with her:
Poser!
We know it’s all about:
Accessorizing!
It was hard to make Summer’s…contorted body fit into regular Barbie clothes, but I managed.
The veil that came with this dress was not exactly what I needed, so I bought some netting and Lynne enhanced it (this is the enhanced version).
The next night, Tom helped me set up the photo:
A bride running down a staircase of TJB, C/L, and Cochrane novels while the groom stomps on her long veil to try to stop her.
And the final shot, as it showed up on beckycochrane.com:
Thanks Lynne for a fun girls’ night out, and thank you Mattel and Tom for helping with doll wrangling.
That’s a fun final photo. And the plating at Mark’s is beautiful. (As are floor to ceiling stalls.)
It’s Public Restroom Mecca–suddenly I feel like David Puterbaugh, taking pictures of bathrooms for MGH.
Look at you! I couldn’t be more proud!
You have taught me well. :::bows:::
Three cheers for the A Coventry Wedding photo. I love it! I’ve already scheduled a place in my reading schedule.
BTW, the men’s room outside the Khorrasan Room at the Chase here in STL has floor to ceiling walls and doors, too. Don’t know about the ladies.
Thank you for putting Coventry in your schedule. You’ve given me a contest idea. More details to come as the release date gets closer. =)
i love going to eat at Mark’s, but it will always be the Dream Merchant in my memory.
Dream Merchant! THANK YOU. I’d never have remembered that in a zillion years. It was a fantastic shop. I miss it and Wild Earth, too.
i miss all those shops along westhiemer that have come and gone. Dream Merchant, Mr Peabody’s Way Back Time Machine, Wear It Again Sams. Record Exhchange…
Back when I lived in the ‘burbs, we used to come in to go to Record Exchange. Yeah, a lot of shops have gone. Eventually, it’ll be all GAPish, I’m sure.
Love love love the Top Model Doll! And the final shot!
Check out this photo. I think Top Model Teresa could definitely pull off a gothic look in your honor. I’m kind of thinking of buying all the Top Models (I just edited my post to add Nikki–I didn’t know there was an AA Top Model in the collection).
ARGH! See? This is how obsessions begin. STOP ME.
The question is do they swear like Russian sailors like the Top Models on tv … I like these they are very cute … I must admit to being a bit of a Bratz fan
Bratz are pre-teen hussies.
what a pretty restaurant!
and the barbie pictures are terrific, as usual. 😉 so cute
It is a gorgeous place, and unlike most Houston restaurants, we could actually hear each other across the table without yelling.
You’re going to meet The Brides and Kathy! Woohoo!
OMG, I love those pictures.
I love the foodie pics, as well as the Barbie ones.
We cant wait for the next book!
I’m glad you liked the photos. Lynne and I had this entire discussion at dinner about the the artistry of chefs. She said she wouldn’t be able to take seeing plates return with uneaten food–she would want to know WHY, what was WRONG. Still, I think she should get training and become a pastry chef for her next act.
I peeked at your website yesterday in order to see the photos. Amazing! I think that should be your promo poster.
Thanks. I could have spent a little more time on it, but then I wouldn’t be the Aries that I am.
First, you’re not supposed to make me cry this early in the morning, but what a beautiful post.
I LOVE the Barbie photo!! Why didn’t they make Ken’s that hot when I was a kid? They all just looked wholesome. Where were the “bad boy” Kens back then? LOL
I’ve decided that Coventry Wedding will be a birthday present to myself, since it comes out in January.
Not only do I think it should be your birthday present, but I think everyone who knows you should buy it for themselves and one other person in honor of your birthday. 😉
I’m glad you like the Barbie photo–and trust me, there are still wholesome and very bad hair Kens on the shelf.
“Not only do I think it should be your birthday present, but I think everyone who knows you should buy it for themselves and one other person in honor of your birthday. ;)”
What a “novel” idea!! It will definitely be front and center on my staff picks!!
Now, a restaurant as GORGEOUS as that serving… skwarsh… makes about as much sense as the surrogate star of a Becky Cochrane novel wearing off the rack.
There’s Reem Acra. There’s Carolina Herrera. There’s Monique Lhuillier. And then there’s me, beside myself. I just… I just don’t– really, I just don’t know what to say.
(Except, thanks for this glimpse into your Monday.)
You’re welcome. Squash is good food!
Yikes! Now see, a full-on Barbie obsession would have me buying designer clothes for the plastic fashion ‘ho that cost more than my own wardrobe. Those are gorgeous gowns.
Even though Summer, stand-in for Jandy, got her gown off the rack, does it count that Lynne customized her veil? She did it at great risk. We were standing in the fabric section–okay, admittedly it was Wal-Mart–and no one came to help us after Lynne rang the bell. She finally said, “I’ve bought fabric here. I know what I’m doing,” and measured out a yard of netting for me. When she picked up the scanner to input the price and amount, that’s when an employee showed up. At least those security cameras are good for something.
The veil came from WAL-MART? Are you TRYING to give me a seizure???
(If Lynne draped and cut it, it counts as one-of-a-kind custom work, and all the other brides are going to seethe with jealousy.)
Now look, that fabric is the same no matter what store it comes from. Expend your fashion snob energy in another direction. Like, why are there no LACROIX, darling, Lacroix gowns for Barbie?
Or are there?
Life Ball Barbie® 99 designed by Christian Lacroix – sold out!
Following Vivienne Westwood, the French designer Christian Lacroix, also one of the seven designers represented at the Millennium Special fashion show at Life Ball 99, created – again exclusively for Aids Life – the robe for the Life Ball Barbie® doll 99. The outfit’s “original”, which is embroidered with SWAROVSKI-crystals, was presented on the catwalks in Paris in March 1999.
The Life Ball Barbie® doll 99 designed by Christian Lacroix is available in a limited edition of 500 dolls.
Christian Lacroix’s comment:
“I dressed Barbie® for the first time about fifteen years ago and I did many times since, officially and privately. Did I change? I don’t know, but I’m sure, she didn’t. She is a miracle. She is timeless and she epitomizes fashion, always ‘surfing’ in the cutting edge of trends and style, becoming not only an icon but an inspiration too. She represents energy. So she represents life and this is why I feel so happy, proud and grateful to be in charge of her 99 outfit for the Vienna Life Ball.
We chose a vibrant orange fabric structured by black and fluo ribbons (and some ‘lights’ by SWAROVSKI) for celebrating this event of hope, generosity and fun. This dress was on the fashion runway last March in Paris.
I thank everyone who helped making this ‘tour de force’ possible.”
Sadly, I haven’t been able to find photos yet.
Aw, I wish you could find photos of her. I remember her, brunette updo, poufy reddish orange gown with a couple of strategically placed bows in different colors, and a festival of black tulle peeking out at the hem– I kiss my fingertips!
For fuck’s sake, that was hard, but I found a picture of that Life Ball doll, here!
I guess I remembered her wrong as a brunette. : )
So, who did “Jandy”‘s dress, in A COVENTRY WEDDING, anyhow? Release this info to the press instantly, just like Lady Di’s secret choice!
Damn, you did good! Honestly, I expected more whimsy from Lacroix, but that’s okay.
I’m sorry, I’m not at liberty to discuss details about Jandy’s closet.
If Dress Barn had anything to do with the gown, I’m going to combust.
Back when I was a young teen, a friend of my mother’s had a shop on the highway between our two small Alabama towns called “The Fashion Dump.” Don’t you want to shop there IMMEDIATELY? It was unsold women’s wear she picked up from other stores.
And that, my friend, is where my mother once found a rat (dead) in the toilet, a story that was greatly altered and included in A Coventry Christmas.
I love that scene! One of the ones that make me yearn for some Hollywood idiot to wise up and buy the film rights to that book.
that veil was made into a 3-tier, hand-stiched, hand-beaded MASTERPIECE. And Ken is walking on it!
Wal-Mart doesn’t like self-service fabric shoppers…
Ha! I’ve already alerted the Chambre Syndicale de la Haute Couture to rescure your lovely veil from that knock-off (frock-off?)!
I mean, just look at those threads hanging off the dress. Your veil with that? NO.
Stop dissin’ the dress! Lynne said it looked totally Vera Wang. (And if it’s falling apart, I know someone who will say it looks totally Donna Karan.)
Sorry. I’m a genuine A-hole. : )
Yes, that’s totally the first thing I think when someone asks me, “What is Mark G. Harris like?” The next thing I think is, “MarGIE.”
hahaha (“Hearing” that made my left eyelid twitch.)
OMG, I want to see FARB and Brady again for many reasons, but especially to hear Brady call you that.
I’ve never been to Mark’s and now I really want to go. It’s beautiful!
Love the picture too! It’s perfect.
Thanks! You will love Mark’s. The food is truly awesome.
Mercy, I haven’t been to Sharpstown Mall in forever. It’s amazing how many malls have become ghost malls since I moved here twenty years ago.
wow. my memory only goes as far back as DM being in that location. I bought my first pair of Doc Marten’s there.
and Mark’s… i know exactly what you mean, as i dream that i could eat at that establisment once a week, I consider myself extremely grateful if i get to have dinner there once a year.
You should have gone into advertising, Miss Becky. I LOVE this post!
And I love that restaurant, too! How perfect that it’s set in a former church; after a dinner like that I bet you just want to shout AMEN! 🙂
Okay, the next time you’re in Houston, we’ll let you leave your counter at Cinnabon/Starbucks long enough to treat us to dinner there! YOUR LUCKY DAY!
(Thank you.)
Woohoo! Can new hottie Ken be my date?
::giggle:: But of course! Unless you want to be a thruple with Harley Ken?
Harley Ken and New Hottie Ken would make the cutest plastic baby if it were possible.
Wonderful photo… I love it!
Thank you. =)