In a large city, no matter what time of day or night you go somewhere, there will always be other people. Sometimes that’s good, and sometimes it’s not.
Tuesday evening I went to Kroger to get boxes, but there were none. So I drove to lots of other places and scared people by going behind stores to pick up boxes that I spied with my eagle vision. That’s a joke–the eagle vision, not the scaring people, including a couple who was walking down an alley toward a small apartment. In the normal course of things, there’d have been no reason for a car to be in that alley, and I could tell they felt threatened. I quickly rolled down my window and told them I was just there to get boxes that I’d spotted. I could see that the woman still felt a little edgy, and I felt bad for scaring her.
When I got home, Tom and Tim packed up a storm and used up the boxes I’d gotten. So later, when Tim went to Kroger, I went with him, in case they were finally stocking the shelves and had some empty boxes.
The stockers were still at the stage where they were just moving stuff into the aisles, so I couldn’t get more boxes. What I did get was a pervert. This guy in a black coat who was talking to himself and carrying several balloons that he kind of hid behind, came up to me and said, “Shake my hand.” I was all, “Huh?” His gaze was fixed on my breasts, and I started backing away from him. He reached out and TOOK MY HAND.
Do y’all know me? Those who do know that YOU DON’T TOUCH ME, ever, without permission. I was appalled and said, “What are you doing? Get away from me!” Then I backed away and began maneuvering through aisles, around boxes, sort of looking for Tim. But Balloon Man kept spotting me and trying to meet up with me again, so I went to the front of the store and sat on a bench near where the security guard was. Then Balloon Man got in line to pay and kept staring at me.
Which is when Tim arrived and I fled to him and said, “You must stand very, very close to me and be my boyfriend.” He already knew why; he’d noticed Balloon Man, too. As we were walking out, with Tim staying between me and Balloon Man, I heard Balloon Man say, “There you are!” Tim and I hurried past him and got inside the car. When we looked back, Balloon Man was standing in front of the store with a cell phone up to his ear. Whatever. We took a different route home. And then I couldn’t go back later to get the empty boxes.
To that couple that I inadvertently scared, I’m SORRY!
Karma’s a bitch.