Tag: metaphysical-tarot

They’re only trying to help

In preparation for our move, there’ll be a lot of purging and packing, but right now I’m sick with some malady–at least it’s not ebola–so I’m not in the mood for filling boxes. I was working at my desk when I glanced into the dining room and saw Sarah Beth and Gina Ann pushing something around. I couldn’t figure out what toy it was, so I finally walked in there. It wasn’t a toy. It was an old painted box they’d removed from my bookshelves and managed to open.


“You don’t know how to read!” I told them. “Much less read Tarot cards.”

I put the box on a higher shelf, thinking, No big deal. Later, I could tell they were arguing over something, so I went into the living room, where I found this.


It’s what’s left of a coaster from Sloppy Joe’s from my trip to Key West back in 1987. It was in the box with the Tarot cards. And though I thought it was a nice memento, apparently the wieners thought I needed to get rid of it.


“We’re helpers!”

Good thing all my dolls are already off site in storage.

Legacy Writing 365:166

It’s amazing what the mind recalls. June 14 marks the twentieth year since our friend Steve R died. And though I’d have to put effort into remembering what I did yesterday, I vividly remember the details of that summer day.

I recently told a friend that when someone I love dies, for a while afterward, it’s as if time slows down. And though unexpected death is shattering, most of my experience with loss hasn’t been that way. In fact, it has been my honor to be present when several people left this world, and I do mean honor. Whatever one’s beliefs, there’s something quietly sacred in those moments of a last, peaceful goodbye.

They are also private moments, and though I’ve written about Steve’s death in poetry, mentioned it online, and shared some of the details with friends and those who love him, I hope I’ve never infringed on that privacy. Today I received a card written by his mother, from both his parents, and it reminded me again of their integrity, their sweetness, and their love for their son. They still miss him. They always will. I will, too.

After leaving the hospital that day, our friend Geraldine and I went to tell Geof that it was over. We picked him up from work, tried to eat something, and ended up at Geof’s apartment. I remember Geraldine whispering to me, “Whatever he wants to do, just do it.” I nodded, and that’s how I somehow ended up doing a Tarot reading for Geof at his request from the cards pictured. (Geof loved anything Egyptian, and the Egipcios Kier deck is based on Egyptian symbols, letters, and hieroglyphs.) Tarot cards are not something at which I have any actual skill, but I’ve always considered them a way for a person to self-evaluate, much like meditation, dreams, journals, even therapy. To me, it’s another tool of discovery.

Although getting out the Tarot cards was a good distraction for us all–a chance to stand back from the emotional intensity of that day–I remember Geof’s reading as being extremely difficult and complex. When I took these cards out today to get a photo, I couldn’t understand why. They seemed pretty straightforward as I flipped through them. Then I looked at the book, and I noticed how small the print is, how dense the information, and I realized that it’s those words again–they’re always adding layers and possibilities, conflicts and challenges, more questions than answers.

Honestly, I don’t know why I love words so much.

I just do.

Thinking of you, Steve, and sending boundless love your way, and all good thoughts to Geraldine, Geof, and all those who miss you still.

Kick-starting creativity

Sometimes I just have to get out of the Home Office; a change of scenery can provoke renewed creativity.

Tonight, I’m working at Hollywood Cafe. There’s a Jackie Chan movie on and plenty of patrons chattering, but for some reason, I can still work here.

This used to be Hollywood Cafe and Books. Now the bookstore is around the corner on Fairview; it’s the only surviving GLBT bookstore in Houston. As far as I know, Marlon still works there. I adore Marlon. Stop into the bookstore and say hello to him sometime, or to the equally fabulous Ryan.

The affiliated restaurant next door once gave me some fortune cookies late at night because I was shooting photographs for possible use on the jacket of THREE FORTUNES. Alyson went with their own cover, but I still appreciate the generosity of the restaurant.

Check out Hollywood Cafe for coffee, a snack, their wifi connection, the gigantic TV screen, or conversation on the outside patio, where you can keep an eye on people going in and out of the bars, or maybe get Merlyn to read your Tarot cards.