My first meme of 2011

I actually did this on Facebook, but figured I’d share it here, too. In no particular order, 15(ish) movies that almost made me stop liking movies:

1. A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon. The only good thing about this one was that Tom and I saw it at the Dollar Movie, and the tub o’popcorn was cheap, too.

2. The Godfather, Part III. You realize how thoroughly a sequel’s ruined a franchise for you when you don’t care that a Corleone daughter is gunned down.

3. The Last House on the Left. The original one. It forever killed my desire to score a joint from a stranger on an adventure in the city with my BFF.

4. Big Trouble in Little China. Sorry, Marika, but if I could have those 99 minutes with Tom, Tim, Lisa, and Mark back, anything would be more fun. Except that Jimmy Reardon movie.

5. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. You know, it may not even be Jar Jar Binks. But sometimes late at night, my mind still fumbles with the convoluted queen/decoy thing. Probably because I’ve endured this movie only once.

6. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. I only remember this because someone else mentioned it. Though it did give Lynne and me the chance to start many, many sentences with, “You know, my old man told me, before he left this shitty world…”

7. I only watch movies with dogs if someone assures me the dog doesn’t get it. So any movie with a stealthy dog death makes this list, and I can’t name one because I probably required memory-erasing therapy after seeing it. Wait–didn’t a dog die in that movie with John Travolta as an angel? Quick! My Vicodin!

8. I think Russell Crowe must have killed my dog in a former life, because if he’s in it, I just can’t bear to watch it.

9. Nine Months. I think that’s how long the movie lasted, too. When good actors get talked into doing bad things.

10. Bedazzled. When bad actors get talked into doing worse things.

11. Queen of the Damned. Dreadful.

12. Rhinestone. Why, Dolly, WHY?

13. A Clockwork Orange. Yeah, I know. Whatever.

14. Jabberwocky. Do they take the Internet away from me if I don’t like something with tenuous connections to Monty Python?

15. The War of the Roses. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.

Ha

I did that writing meme so many LJ friends are doing. Using different LJ posts and some excerpts from the two Coventry novels, I’ve apparently written like James Joyce, Dan Brown, Stephen King, J.D. Salinger, Chuck Palahniuk, Mark Twain, and FINALLY, a woman, Margaret Atwood. Which might disappoint her, as I once had a class with her and she was quite stern about my need to differentiate between “voices” in writing.

If you’d like what I’m sure is a highly accurate and scientific analysis of your writing, you’ll find your chance here.

When words fail, do memes!

1. What curse word do you use the most? That F word.

2. Do you own an iPod? No.

3. What person on your f-list do you talk to the most? By phone, Marika. In person, Tim.

4. What time is your alarm clock set to? I don’t set a “real” alarm clock. Internal alarm clock varies.

5. Do you still remember the first person you kissed? Yes.

6. Do you remember where you were on 9/11? Yes.

7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Take it.

8. What was the last movie you watched? It’s Complicated

9. Do any of your friends have children? Yes.

10. Has anyone ever called you lazy? No.

11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep? Yes.

12. What CD is currently in your CD player? At home, nada. In my car, there are six in the changer: one made by Jim for me, one by Pancho’s Lament, and the scores and soundtracks of Twilight and New Moon.

13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? Chocolate.

14. Has anyone told you a secret this week? Not that I can remember.

15. When was the last time you had Starbucks? Two or more weeks ago.

16. Can you whistle? Yes.

17. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their manners.

18. What are you looking forward to? Looking back on this week with humor.

19. Did you watch cartoons as a child? Not often.

20. Do you own any band t-shirts? I don’t wear T-shirts but it’s possible I have one or two in a storage bin.

21. What will you be doing in one hour? Going to the gym, I think.

22. Is anyone in love with you? He’d have to be to put up with everything.

23. What was the last song you heard? “Rhiannon”

24. Last time you cried? Last night, with utter gratitude.

25. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop? Desktop.

26. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? No.

27. What’s the weather like? Hot and muggy.

28. Would you ever date a girl/guy covered in tattoos? If I were single and dating, probably not.

29. What did you do before this? Went outside with the dogs.

30. When is the last time you slept on the floor? 2006

31. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? I do okay with four, but really need six.

32. Do you eat breakfast daily? I do now.

33. Are your days fast-paced? Not if I can help it.

34. What did you do last night? Watched two episodes of Y&R with Tom and Tim.

35. Do you use sarcasm? Not as much as I once did.

36. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? Look away if you’re easily shocked. I’ll be 35 for the [number redacted] time.

37. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? I prefer to think of it as conscientious. I only judge writers and teachers for more than the occasional error.

38. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Over Georgia, many times. No others.

39. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex? I get along with people who are smart and compassionate and who have a sense of humor. In my current world, those qualities are equally divided among men and women.

40. Do you like mustard? A little bit on some things.

41. Do you sleep on your side? Yes.

42. Do you watch the news? I read the news.

43. How did you get one of your scars? I slid into the corner of my parents’ dresser.

44. Who was the last person to make you mad? I’ll keep this answer to myself, but I will tell you it’s no one I live with.

45. Do you like anybody? I like lots of people!

46. What is the last thing you purchased? A Subway sandwich.

47. What side of the heart do you draw first? The right side.

48. Can you dive without plugging your nose? I don’t dive, I jump in, and I hold my nose.

49. What color is your razor? Pink.

50. What is your blood-type? I don’t know!

51. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? Good grief, what a question. Probably one of a couple of Geminis I know, because they’d be either entertaining or asleep.

52. What is a rumor someone has spread about you? I’d rather forget that incident, thanks.

53. How do you feel about carrots? Carrots are great! What’s up, doc?

54. How many chairs at the dining room table? Four.

55. Which is the best Spice Girl? Grumpy!

56. Do you know what time it is? Yes.

57. Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince theme song? Nope.

58. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? Ring the bell or use the emergency phone, then sit down and go somewhere better inside my head.

59. What’s your favorite kind of gum? Anything minty, and like asterapallas, I like that “Rain” gum and have even blogged about it.

60. T or F: All’s fair in love and war. Absolutely false.

61. Do you have a crush on anyone? No.

62. Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning? If I don’t know the meaning, I don’t use it. I do know that I sometimes mispronounce words even though I know what they mean and use them correctly.

63. Do you like to sleep? I used to resent sleeping, but now I love it.

64. Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings Time? I think Arizona and parts of Indiana? Not positive about that.

65. Do you know the song Total Eclipse of the Heart? Yes.

66. Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 Mustang? Not so much.

67. What’s something you’ve always wanted? To be treated with kindness.

68. Do you have hairy LEGS? No.

69. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Forget it. I swim in a pool.

70. Do you wear a lot of black? No.

71. Describe your hair. Short and skillfully colored.

72. Do you have Entomophobia? If they stay away from me, we’re all good.

73. Are you an adult? Yes.

74. Where is/are your best friend(s)? In Houston and scattered across the U.S., with one in Sweden.

75. Do you have a tan? No.

76. Are you a television addict? Nope.

77. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? She’s dead, but I still talk to her all the time in my head and dream about her, so apparently, I do.

78. Are you a sugar freak? Definitely not.

79. Do you like orange juice? I don’t dislike it, but I rarely drink it. Would rather eat an orange.

80. What sign are you? Aries.

Below are personality descriptions for the 12 signs of the Zodiac. Does yours accurately capture your personality, or does it not even come close!
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CAPRICORN – The Go-Getter (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think, and can be unfriendly at times. They hold grudges, like competition, and get what they want.

AQUARIUS – The Sweetheart (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out with an eccentric personality.

PISCES – The Dreamer (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Doesn’t like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind, unselfish and a good kisser. Beautiful.

ARIES – The Daredevil (Mar 21 – April 19)
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. Extremely impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly – easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

TAURUS – The Enduring One (April 20 – May 20)
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice Loving and kind. Loves hard – passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

GEMINI – The Chatterbox (May 21 – June 20)
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty.. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally.

CANCER – The Protector (June 21 – July 22)
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Negative. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

LEO – The Boss (July 23 – Aug 22)
Very organized. Need order in their lives. Like boundaries. Amazing sex appeal. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive with creative energy, and full of themselves. Loving. Loves long relationships. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.

VIRGO – The Perfectionist (Aug 23 – Sept 22)
Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh, practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

LIBRA – The Harmonizer (Sept 23 – Oct 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Can’t make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Gives in too easily. Procrastinator. Very gullible.

SCORPIO – The Intense One (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and emotional.

SAGITTARIUS – The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
Good-natured optimist. Doesn’t want to grow up … a Peter Pan. Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn’t like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient, but fun to be around. Has lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn’t like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined – tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn’t like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

Did the description of your sign match your personality?

Shuffle Poetry–plus one

I yanked this meme from Cari ’cause hers cracked me up. Emo poets, watch out!

Take the first line of the first twenty songs that play on your shuffled music (wherever your shuffled music originates). The first line of the twenty-first song becomes your title. Here’s my poem–apparently I’m having girl trouble.

I’m Free to Do What I Want Any Old Time
by Becky and her iTunes

Green-eyed girl
Give me one more chance
What good is the dawn
Oh, it’s been such a long, long time
At night it hits me cold

You want to give your love away
Walked out, goodbye
I give her all my love
Girls can wear jeans
It’s quarter to three

All I know is the way that I feel
So you think you’re a Romeo
Cain slew Abel
Moon River, wider than a mile
Trudging slowly over wet sand

Know it sounds funny
She’ll let you in her house
Am I real?
Let me in here
When the night has come

And since I’m being poetic, occasionally (okay, twice, whatever, this is my LJ and I’ll say what I want to) Mark G. Harris assigns poetry writing tasks to his friends. He finds a past blog entry we wrote and asks us to rewrite it–in verse. He last did this on November 2, assigning me this old post of mine from May 2008. November 2…which is…uh….three months ago today and…um…er….GREAT WRITING TAKES TIME, PEOPLE!

So without further ado–and note, Internet, that’s ado, not adieu, but let me not interfere with your massacre of the language so that I can commence my own.

That Day You Got Your Nails Did


Lucy and Marilyn watched from the wall
That day you got your nails did
Madonna was hanging out, too,
But was all into herself
And couldn’t be bothered with you

Each twitch from you became sound
In the nail tech’s giggles
She clipped and filed and buffed
Around your nervous cuticles
Good theater, but you didn’t let me pay

I drove your manicure to Starbucks
To wrap itself around a frappuccino and a Camel
We kept an eye out for handsome men
But got dirty dogs and a rainbow
We’re soaking in it, Hardhat Boy

The Proust Questionnaire

Several years ago, my buddy Shawn over at Everything and Nothing introduced me to the self-interview. The idea is to find interview questions asked of others in the media and apply them to yourself, answering them on your blog.

A few days ago, I was reading the blog of TJB reader and Twitter friend, Daniel T., who linked to Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire: 101 Luminaries Ponder Love, Death, Happiness, and the Meaning of Life. The description of the book reads:

The probing set of questions originated as a 19th-century parlor game popularized by contemporaries of Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that an individual’s answers reveal his true nature.

I’m not intending to answer the questions here and now, and probably not all at once. There are so many, and I’ve found myself giving them much more thought than memes usually provoke. Some of them might show up as the subjects of future LJ posts.

You can go to a link on the Vanity Fair Web site and answer them there, seeing how your answers compare to the “Luminaries,” or apparently even compare your answers to your Facebook friends.

Or if you want to use them to interview yourself, or maybe answer one or two of them on your own blogs or journals, the questions are:

1.?What is your idea of perfect happiness?
2.?What is your greatest fear?
3.?What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
4.?What is the trait you most deplore in others?
5.?Which living person do you most admire?
6.?What is your greatest extravagance?
7.?What is your current state of mind?
8.?What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
9.?On what occasion do you lie?
10.?What do you most dislike about your appearance?
11.?Which living person do you most despise?
12.?What is the quality you most like in a man?
13.?What is the quality you most like in a woman?
14.?Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
15.?What or who is the greatest love of your life?
16.?When and where were you happiest?
17.?Which talent would you most like to have?
18.?If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
19.?What do you consider your greatest achievement?
20.?If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
21.?Where would you most like to live?
22.?What is your most treasured possession?
23.?What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
24.?What is your favorite occupation?
25.?What is your most marked characteristic?
26.?What do you most value in your friends?
27.?Who are your favorite writers?
28.?Who is your hero of fiction?
29.?Which historical figure do you most identify with?
30.?Who are your heroes in real life?
31.?What are your favorite names?
32.?What is it that you most dislike?
33.?What is your greatest regret?
34.?How would you like to die?
35.?What is your motto?

Personality Disorder Test

Snagged this test from dawni, and just as I suspected: I’m boring.

Disorder Rating
Paranoid Disorder: Low
Schizoid Disorder: Low
Schizotypal Disorder: Low
Antisocial Disorder: Low
Borderline Disorder: Low
Histrionic Disorder: Low
Narcissistic Disorder: Low
Avoidant Disorder: Low
Dependent Disorder: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: Low

Personality Disorder Test – Take It!
Personality Disorders