Legacy Writing 365:43

Sunday I ran some errands and ended up at Green Acres because I haven’t had any Lynne time in a while. We had fun catching up, plus Lynne put together a great dinner on a moment’s notice. This is not surprising because, unlike me, Lynne has what I call “Mom Kitchen.” I’ve never mastered this phenomenon, but if you ever decide you want to cook or bake at Lynne’s, whatever ingredient you need will be in the pantry or the refrigerator or the freezer. My mother’s kitchen was this way, too. They don’t run out of stuff. Or when they do run out of stuff–presto! A replacement appears from the Mom Stash.

I came home with a couple of albums of Lynne’s photos that I plan to scan–either because I want copies of them or to use in future Legacy Writing entries. This one melts my heart. Jess is nineteen months old here. It’s taken in the kitchen of the house where Lynne grew up. If you were the photographer, you’d be standing next to a high bar that separated the kitchen from the den. I’ve eaten countless meals at that bar, or sat around it talking to Lynne, her sisters, and her mother. The phone’s on the wall at the end of the bar (and yep, I still remember the phone number).

I saw a similar scene countless times in my mother’s kitchen when my siblings began giving her grandbabies. Certain cabinets were kept available for small hands to open so they could drag out pots and pans and bang the lids to their hearts’ content. And just as shown here, a wooden spoon or two would be handed down from above to join the wild rumpus.

It astounds me–I won’t even let the dogs walk through the kitchen when I’m cooking without ordering them out. Guess that’s one more reason I don’t have “Mom Kitchen.”

Legacy Writing 365:42

I believe my nephew Josh came into the world performing. He loved being the center of attention and could talk a blue streak to keep our focus on him. He also loved money, so occasionally we’d say, “Josh, if you can be quiet for five minutes, you’ll get five bucks.” He never lasted that long.

He loved music from birth and began playing the drums and being in talent shows when he was still in elementary school (his father is also a drummer). However, it was about that time that he stopped letting me take endless photos of him.

So I got a lot of grumpy:

and goofy:

Fortunately, he outgrew that phase and began letting me shoot him again. When I used to wonder if he’d remember his doting old aunt when he became rich and famous, he said he’d send me an autograph. He even autographed the leather patch from a pair of jeans to get in practice:

I don’t know if he’s rich and famous, but he’s recorded CDs with his bands, played several years at the Chicago Blues Festival, and shared the stage with some pretty impressive talent. I think he’s still okay with being related to me, but I haven’t received a recent autograph to prove it.

Legacy Writing 365:41

When she was four and her mother told her that Tom and I lost both of our dachshunds within five days of each other, she wanted to do something to make us feel better. Her mother went online and found dachshund illustrations to print so she could color and send them to us. She came up with the stained glass effect on her own. The coloring she used on the dogs makes them look very much like our pups, and these drawings have been displayed in our house ever since.

When she was twelve, after my mother’s memorial service, more than 30 adults and 12 kids gathered at a restaurant. The restaurant had set up a long table for the kids, and without being asked, she and my nephew Aaron (who was 14) took charge of the kids’ table, keeping them occupied with colors and conversation so the grown-ups could talk. They probably never knew that I noticed, but I did, and appreciated their thoughtfulness so much.

When she was fourteen and Tom and I got to spend a week with family in the mountains of Arkansas, I had the best time teasing her in the pool and having long conversations with her about books and school and whatever stuff popped into our heads.

She makes great grades. She donates her time to help other people. She’ll stand up for someone who’s being picked on. She has tons of friends. She loves to ride horses. She loves her dogs. She’s a kind, smart, beautiful young lady. Anyone would be proud to have her as a daughter, and Tom and I are blessed to have her as a niece.

We love her very much, and today she turns sixteen. Happy birthday, Toni!

Legacy Writing 365:40


In our small town there was a women’s dress shop owned and run by a group of elderly ladies. In the days before Lynne and I would spend Saturdays on the town square going from store to store trying to figure out what we could buy with our limited funds (and my limited funds often came from her father, because if she hit him up for a few dollars, he seemed to think he needed to give me money, too–THANKS, I.J.!), I’d wander in and out of stores on my own while my parents were shopping.

In the back of this particular dress shop was a vanity where women could sit and retouch their lipstick, powder their noses, and add another coat of hairspray to their helmet hair. I remember once testing some perfume and hairspray and hearing the old ladies in front whispering about my shameless use of their resources. My mother would have been mortified, but she and my father were long-accustomed to my wandering ways–plus I always told them all the gossip I learned on my excursions. I don’t think they gave a rat’s ass about the gossip, but since I could go days without speaking from behind a book, my voice reassured them I was still alive.

We didn’t purchase things from this shop. For one thing, we could shop at the PX. For another, the clothes were too old for my sister and me and too expensive for my mother. Mother had a friend named Nancy who had contacts all over the Southeast from whom she could buy clothes that hadn’t sold or clothes with small flaws at deep discounts (there were no “outlet malls” in those days). Nancy sold her clothes in a couple of shops, so buying from Nancy, along with being able to sew, enabled Mother to furnish me a season’s worth of clothes for a frugal sum. Even high-ranking NCOs didn’t make a lot of money, and we all know schoolteachers didn’t/don’t.

At some point when I was a little older, my mother and I were walking down the sidewalk, and she stopped to look at a blouse in this store’s window. I could tell she wanted it, so I talked her into going in and trying it on. She balked at the price tag: EIGHTEEN DOLLARS! Doesn’t that seem ridiculous now? But she could feed us for two weeks on eighteen dollars, and she rarely spent money on herself. The blouse went back on the hanger, and we left the store.

BUT… It wasn’t long before her birthday, and I was finally old enough to realize that most husbands are clueless about buying gifts. So I told my father, and we made a secret shopping trip of our own. Looking back, I wonder if I was so excited about the blouse that I gave it away long before she opened it. If so, she sure acted surprised, and my father knew he was off the hook until April (anniversary) and December.


The brown and orange striped blouse in the photo above is THE blouse. She could wear it alone, buttoned up, or over other shirts or shells, with orange pants and brown pants. She had it for years, and sometimes I wore it, too: as seen in this tenth-grade yearbook photo (hi, Vic! hi, Nick!), under my brown suede, fringed jacket that I just recently discovered my sister still has in her closet.

I think we got our, i.e., my father’s, money’s worth out of the birthday blouse. Now if I could only fit into that suede jacket again.

ETA: Original photo of my mother in the blouse was replaced because I found a better one.

Legacy Writing 365:39


Looking east from Neartown to Downtown Houston

This is a photo I took in 1999, one of many I’ve taken of Houston’s multiple skylines (Downtown, Uptown, Medical District) from different angles over the decades I’ve lived here. I’ve had two opportunities to work in skyscrapers downtown, and both of them were so miserable that all the magic of working there became lost on me, but I still love the buildings.

The first was a temp job requiring someone with Mac experience. This was during a time when those skills were difficult to find. Since I’d come to Houston from an industry in which Macs had been used and had my own Mac, I was proficient in all its major software. Though I was in the middle of a miserable cold, I needed the money, so off I went on a Monday morning to report at 8 a.m. It was an hour-plus drive into downtown from where we lived (about twenty-five miles). I had to pay to park. I went to some ridiculously high floor–maybe in the 50s–and the person who’d requested a temp wasn’t there. I was taken to a department and put at a desk near where two young women were talking about their wild weekends. Now and then, they’d glance at me out of the corners of their eyes, and it was clear they had no idea why I was there. Neither did I, and my head felt heavier and heavier. All I wanted to do was put it on the desk and go to sleep.

By 9:30, neither of the Party Girls had done one bit of work, but they’d had lots of visits from other employees. That’s when my contact person arrived. I began to understand, even through my stuffed-up head, what was going on. She was an admin manager and had no use for the Party Girls. She took the work from both their desks, making a comment about how overloaded they were, and handed it to me. As I worked, the Party Girls finally sat down, but they were obviously on the phone whispering to each other.

I worked until noon, when the manager came and told me where I could find places to eat and encouraged me to get some lunch. We rode down in the elevator together, then she went her way, and I found a place to eat soup. When I went back to the office, the Party Girls were huddled with some man I hadn’t seen before. They faded away, and he came to my desk and told me I was being released for the day because there wasn’t enough work to keep me busy.

I was delighted to leave. I drove to the bookstore where my former manager had been transferred to croak out the story to him. From his office, I called the temp agency that had sent me there and was told the reason the company gave for releasing me was because I’d lied about my Mac skills. I’m glad my head didn’t explode all over Tim W’s office. The next time that agency called me with an assignment, I declined. They mailed me a check for my four hours of torture, but I was probably in the hole after gas, parking, and lunch.

I think that was the only bad temp experience I ever had.* However, my future Tale From Working Downtown is worse than this one.

*ETA: I am wrong. I remembered another bad temp experience. But all the rest of them were pretty awesome.

Legacy Writing 365:38


Mary Jane and Papa

I simply can’t do a better job of talking about Miss Mary Jane than I did several years ago in this post. This is my father’s father and stepmother, and this photo was taken the year my brother was born. Now my father being youngest, and marrying “late” (he was already out of his twenties–ancient!), it had been a while since there were grandBABIES on his side of the family. As Jane-Jane was a spinster until she became my widowed grandfather’s second wife, she got to enjoy with Papa the fun part of small children, i.e., you get to spoil then return them. They didn’t spoil us with things; they spoiled us with affection. Jane-Jane was just crazy about my brother, and I can remember times when all she wanted in the world was to kiss his cheek, but he was such a freaking boy and would run away from her. She kept right on adoring him, though.

I’ve heard that in old photographs, everyone looks so solemn because they had to be motionless for what seemed like forever for the photographer to get a good shot. And honestly, these two could not look more misleadingly grim. I’m not saying they were people who usually wore big smiles. Life was serious business when you endured world wars, cold wars, stock market crashes, rural poverty, the Depression, and a late arrival to indoor plumbing. But I remember Jane-Jane and Papa as good and loving people. They were the only grandparents I got to know, and I still have a few stories to tell about them, just not nearly as many as I wish I could have.

If you have living grandparents, you are so fortunate. Cherish them and let them know you love them. Most of all, give them a chance to tell you their stories. We should all endure as more than names on stones.

And if you have children and grandchildren, we don’t always appreciate or take the time to hear those stories. Write them down. Make videos or tapes. Someday your children and grandchildren may be wiser and will want to hear them.

Legacy Writing 365:37


Here’s a wall of the rock house I loved so much that a part of me still lives there in my memory. Apparently a jonquil has pushed its way into spring and requires its chance at posterity. In the corner is the shadow of someone, most certainly my mother, taking the photo.

There’s still enough of a chill, even on that sunny day, for my father to be wearing a blue/gray sweater (that matches his socks, which seem crazy light for his dark pants) over his shirt and tie and under his wool coat. He is roughly the age in this photo that I am now (you know, thirty-five a few times). I have no idea what My Age Him and This Age Me would talk about. His world and my world are so different.

People say I look like my mother. But I tell you this. Even though the distorted angle of this photo makes his head look larger than it was, he did have long ears, as did his father, and my ears hark right back to that genetic variant. So whatever we might talk about, we’d be sure to HEAR each other.

Legacy Writing 365:36


I rarely get out to see my friend Princess Patti in Small Paradise, but I think of her darn near all the time. When my skeptical self met her many years ago (during the time this photo was taken), she taught me how to open my mind to new possibilities. Through her, I learned what people were talking about when they spoke of “new age” and “metaphysics.” I stopped dismissing out of hand things that had not been or could not be proven and accepted that not knowing the reason or science of things doesn’t mean there is no science or reason; we’ve barely begun to comprehend all there is to know and explore. Every day, I try to find something to be inquisitive or excited about in a way I’ve seen Pat be so often. She inspires me.

Like hearts, minds should stay open. I resist dogma. Once you begin making the rules, you lose the magic. When you begin building the walls, you’re erecting more than one kind of barrier. I’m not a joiner; groups generally repel rather than attract me; and I don’t always play well with others.

If there’s no “I’ in “team,” why am I there?

(Cue Timmy saying, “You’re such an Aries.”)

I was talking recently about a piece of watermelon tourmaline I acquired at a gem and mineral show I went to with Pat several years ago. It’s one of my favorite crystals, and I brought it out earlier and cleaned it. I’ve photographed it here with two pieces of banded fluorite (and a baby aspirin to give you an idea of how small the three crystals are). Just sitting here with these tonight has made me happy. Stones and crystals have that effect on me–in that way, they are like Princess Patti.

Legacy Writing 365:35

My nephew Daniel had this photo taken by his other half- Aimee, and she was generous enough to send it to me and say I could share it here.

Daniel said the reason he folded himself into this car is because the happy dog reminded him of their recently adopted Lamar. Aimee added, “This is what adopted dogs and their families feel like when the dogs get ‘sprung’ from shelters and rescues!”

Aimee knows, because here are their three rescues:


Millie.


Max.


Lamar.

I agree with Aimee. Rescue dogs and their forever families do experience a unique joy. But as far as Daniel getting into the little car, I think a part of him is still this youngster:


Daniel with his mom, Terri.


Daniel with his grandmother, Dorothy.

My happy family is made up of rescued dogs and great nephews and nieces. =)

Legacy Writing 365:34

What I’d like to show you from my first trip to New York City in February 1998 are all the fantastic photos I took of Tim and Timmy and James. The photos from that night eating pizza at Timmy’s and talking about a little project we’d just started that would become the novel It Had to Be You in 2001. Or that amazing night on top of the Empire State Building with Tim and Michael and the great shots I got of them.

But I can’t show you those because I lost the new Canon I’d bought in Manhattan in the back of a cab.

So what I have are photos of views in Central Park and Battery Park and looking out my hotel window shot with my older Canon AE-1 that I hadn’t taken out of my hotel room before my last day in Manhattan because I’d bought that smaller, easier-to-tuck-in-my-coat-pocket camera. Also too-easy-to-slip-OUT-of-my-coat-pocket camera.

Here’s one photo I took from my hotel room looking out at Madison Square Garden.

If I enlarge a detail of it, you can see how a little bit of back-home Texas was with me in New York.


Go Rockets! (I think the Knicks won that game, though.)

I also have plenty of memories. Like James walking my feet off. The Blue Dog Gallery which took us by surprise. Great restaurants. My first time to hail a cab by myself. My first solo subway ride. Seeing places I knew about from decades of TV and movies: Times Square, Union Square, Soho, Greenwich Village, Hell’s Kitchen, Chelsea. How friendly everyone was, which wasn’t what I’d been led to expect in New York. And how women on the housekeeping staff would linger in my room and talk to me because they were intrigued by items I had on my dresser (incense, crystals, rosebuds–my little “get centered” shrine).

Also, my watch died my first day in the city. I could have stepped inside one of many places and had the battery replaced. But Macy’s was just next door, and I grew up thinking of Macy’s and New York as a couple. So Timmy went shopping at Macy’s with me. The watch he picked out is still my main watch all these years later.

The crystal is kind of banged up and the battery’s dead. Should I just buy a new watch? 😉