As long as I have my memory, I’ll never willingly forget any of this

ETA: On 12/15, a New York Times article gave this information on children and gun deaths in the U.S.: “Guns are now the No. 1 cause of deaths among American children and teens, ahead of car crashes, other injuries and congenital disease…. The U.S. accounts for 97 percent of gun-related child deaths among similarly large and wealthy countries, despite making up just 46 percent of this group’s overall population…. The U.S. has more guns than people…”

Before Thanksgiving, I mentioned a project I was doing with the blog that would be of little interest to anyone else, but I was motivated by several reasons.

I believe I was a sophomore in college when I had to choose from suggested topics to research and write a persuasive paper for a speech class (I didn’t have to give a speech or participate in a debate; this was strictly a writing assignment). When I browsed the choices, the one that caught my eye was gun control: pro or con.

Two things interested me. First, my father was retired military. Specifically, the Army, and more specifically, the infantry. I knew he had to be proficient in weaponry (years later, I’d find papers that showed some of the weapons and tanks on which he’d been trained). Yet we never had a weapon in our home.

Further, I understood the culture he grew up in. As a boy and adolescent, he would have hunted. Whether specifically for food or for the camaraderie and skill of the activity, any fowl or other animal killed would have been used for food. Yet I couldn’t remember him talking about hunting, nor do I remember any occasion when he went hunting alone or with other hunters.

My high school boyfriend, who became my first husband, was also a hunter. Again, when he and our friends hunted, they hunted game for food. After we married and had our first post-college home, there were hunting weapons in our house. I never went near them, and he was meticulous about how he stored them.

All that in mind, I wasn’t sure why guns needed to be controlled. Did my father have a reason for not wanting them in our home? This was long before PTSD related to military service was a commonly known and discussed topic. I’d heard of “battle fatigue” and “shell shock,” but I didn’t know if those applied to my father. Did other people keep weapons in their homes? People who weren’t hunters? I had no idea. No one ever showed me any.

Since my ignorance seemed so vast, I picked that topic. I was diligent with my research, and I was stunned by the kinds of statistics and the number of tragic stories I read. Mass shootings were an anomaly back then, but the number of accidents in the home that killed children and other family members was numbing. The number of suicides in which a gun was used, the number of guns used in domestic violence, the crimes that turned deadly because of guns… All that juxtaposed against the Second Amendment rights that people cited as their right to “bear arms,” and our history of wars against U.S. citizens (1860s) and indigenous peoples (encompassing our expansion beyond the lakes, the prairies, the mountains that divided us from the Pacific Ocean).

When I wrote my paper, I chose to take the position of pro gun control. My position wasn’t that people shouldn’t have guns or should give up their guns. I chose instead education, training, registration, systems that I thought would protect, in particular, children from gun deaths, accidental deaths–because in that time, the idea of deliberately murdering school children was unthinkable. I read, studied, and interviewed to find compromise between gun safety and liberty.

I got an A on my project, and I got a conference with my professor, who told me I had one of the best researched, most thoughtful and thorough arguments on the topic he’d ever read.

In the years after that, I came to know people whose lives were impacted forever by guns, as was my own. In a broader sense, assassination attempts on Presidents Ford and Reagan were chilling reminders of the deaths of John and Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X. The murder of John Lennon kept mental health and gun violence part of the pubic debate.

But nothing in my research, and nothing in the world I grew up in, could have led me to predict that military weapons, weapons of war, would ever become common in police departments, first through SWAT teams, and later, with access to decommissioned military weapons, not quite as regulated. Nor would I have thought that private citizens would ever own weapons that have ONE purpose, a purpose that has nothing to do with protecting one’s home and family or with hunting. That purpose is murdering as many people as lethally and efficiently as possible.

I’ve only become more certain that with gun ownership should come gun responsibility, and once again, that leads back to training, education, registration, as well as things like waiting periods, age restrictions, and background checks. In jobs I’ve had that had nothing to do with weapons, I’ve had to be registered, fingerprinted, and provide proof of residency and a criminal-free record. We all have to provide proof of insurance, license, and ownership for many things… but not weapons. It makes no sense to me.

Now we have this myth of “good guys” with visible guns patrolling public streets, eating in public restaurants, standing in front of public buildings. They dress like military. They are armed like military. They are not military. They are not National Guard. They have to provide no proof of training or mental competency to be in public with weapons of war. I have no interest in being where they are because this seems insanely unsafe to me.

Gun violence is at the worst it’s been during my lifetime. I haven’t forgotten the things I learned. I haven’t forgotten interviewing responsible gun owners. I haven’t forgotten that my father, trained for the wars he was part of, left military weapons with the military.

Ten years. It’s been ten years today since twenty children and six staff members were murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School in the village of Sandy Hook located in Newtown, Connecticut. We can’t say things have gotten better, only worse in these ten years.

.

The names below, of those killed, are not in the same order as the photos above.

Allison Wyatt, 6
Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
Anne Marie Murphy, 52 (Teacher)
Avielle Richman, 6
Benjamin Wheeler, 6
Caroline Previdi, 6
Catherine Hubbard, 6
Charlotte Bacon, 6
Chase Kowalski, 7
Daniel Barden, 7
Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, 47 (Principal)
Dylan Hockley, 6
Emilie Parker, 6
Grace McDonnell, 7
Jack Pinto, 6
James Mattioli, 6
Jesse Lewis, 6
Jessica Rekos, 6
Josephine Gay, 7
Lauren Rousseau, 30 (Teacher)
Madeleine Hsu, 6
Mary Sherlach, 56 (Psychologist)
Noah Pozner, 6
Olivia Engel, 6
Rachel D’Avino, 29, (Therapist)
Victoria Soto, 27 (Teacher)

What I learned with my work in HIV/AIDS awareness and the NAMES Project is that names matter. Names remind us of the humanity of lives lost. My project I mentioned has been to research the eighteen years I’ve kept this blog, including the first on LiveJournal, find the victims of mass gun violence during my blog’s duration, and publish their names. It’s a daunting project, and I’ve barely begun to compile them all. I began with school shootings, moved to shootings at places of worship, and am now adding shootings at workplaces and commercial sites (e.g., grocery stores, malls) as well as those designated as domestic terrorism. As I find older posts on related subjects, I’m adding the tag “gun-reform” to them as I am to all new posts. As I find more details about incidents I’ve already recorded, I’m adding those. I haven’t provided names of the shooters, whether or not they died during the incidents.

I’m doing this because these deaths matter. These deaths break families’ and communities’ hearts. These deaths tear at the fabric of who we are and who we should be as citizens and neighbors. These deaths take deadly aim at the foundation of our country.

We are problem solvers. We are innovative. We are not evil. We can do better. We must do better.

Always there

I’m not sure these have been out since sometime before 2017. Thank you to everyone who’s colored angels with or for me over the last thirty years.

They’re all still around even when we don’t see them.

My thoughts are with those killed and injured, and their families and friends, in yet another episode of gun violence, this time in Colorado, late Saturday night.

they wanted to have a night out

Five people were killed and 17 were injured by gunshot, one1 was injured but not by gunshot, and one2 was a “victim with no visible injuries,” as a perpetrator opened fire with multiple firearms including an AK-style rifle, in a shooting inside Club Q, a gay nightclub in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Patrons at the club were able to subdue the perpetrator until law enforcement arrived.

Those killed were:

Derek Rump, bartender, age 38
Daniel Aston, club supervisor, age 28
Ashley Paugh, age 35
Kelly Loving, age 40
Raymond Green Vance, patron, age 22

1This number have been increased to five injured without being shot.
2 This number has been increased from one to twelve victims with no visible injuries.

they wanted to go to school

A gunman opened fire with a handgun on the main campus of the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, killing three people and wounding two others before escaping. He was later apprehended.

Those killed were Devin Chandler, age 20, Lavel Davis Jr., age 20, and D’Sean Perry, age 22. Another victim, Michael Hollins, was shot but is expected to recover. A fifth victim, Marlee Morgan, was later discharged from the hospital.

they wanted to see a parade

Killed on July 4, 2022, at an Independence Day parade in Highland Park, Illinois

64-year-old Katherine Goldstein of Highland Park
35-year-old Irina McCarthy of Highland Park
37-year-old Kevin McCarthy of Highland Park
63-year-old Jacquelyn Sundheim of Highland Park
88-year-old Stephen Straus of Highland Park
78-year-old Nicolas Toledo-Zaragoza of Morelos, Mexico
69-year-old Eduardo Uvaldo of Waukegan

they wanted to go to school

Here are the names and details of those who died in Uvalde, Texas, on May 24 at the Robb Elementary School shooting.

  1. Alexandria Aniyah Rubio, 10
  2. Alithia Ramirez, 10
  3. Amerie Jo Garza, 10
  4. Annabell Guadalupe Rodriguez, 10
  5. Eliahana Cruz Torres, 10
  6. Eliana “Ellie” Garcia, 9
  7. Jackie Cazares, 10
  8. Jailah Nicole Silguero, 10
  9. Jayce Luevanos, 10
  10. Jose Flores, 10
  11. Layla Salazar, 10
  12. Makenna Lee Elrod, 10
  13. Maite Rodriguez, 10
  14. Miranda Mathis, 11
  15. Nevaeh Bravo, 10
  16. Rojelio Torres, 10
  17. Tess Marie Mata, 10
  18. Uziyah Garcia, 8
  19. Xavier Lopez, 10
  20. Eva Mireles, 44, teacher
  21. Irma Garcia, teacher, 46

I follow Annie Lennox on Instagram and she posted observations from Gloria Steinem dating back to 1999 which address gun culture in the U.S. While other countries might share some of these characteristics, they don’t have the abundance of and ease of access to guns that we have in this country.

Jotting some thoughts of my own here:

“Mental illness” is a simplistic answer and ignores the truth that many, many people live with mental and emotional illnesses and never massacre people or inflict bodily harm on others. Please do not stigmatize people who struggle with mental illness.

Automatic weapons of the type that can kill so many so quickly are not hunting weapons. They are not for protection. They are meant to kill humans efficiently in mass numbers. I grew up with hunters and soldiers all around me. None that I ever knew had these kinds of weapons in their homes. They are battlefield weapons. They, and large capacity magazines, began increasing in sales to non-military and non-law enforcement personnel in the mid to late 1990s.

School shootings ONLY (death totals do not include the shooters, and the injured are not listed here):

COLUMBINE HIGH SCHOOL, April 1999, 13 dead
RED LAKE HIGH SCHOOL, March 2005, 9 dead
WEST NICKEL MINES AMISH SCHOOL, October 2006, 5 dead
VIRGINIA TECH, April 2007, 32 dead
NORTHERN ILLINOIS UNIVERSITY, February 2008, 5 dead
OIKOS UNIVERSITY, April 2012, 7 dead
SANDY HOOK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, December 2012, 27 dead
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, SANTA BARBARA, May 2014, 6 dead (includes both gun and stabbing victims)
MARYSVILLE-PILCHUCK HIGH SCHOOL, October 2014, 4 dead
MARJORY STONEMAN DOUGLAS HIGH SCHOOL, February 2018, 17 dead
UMPQUA COMMUNITY COLLEGE, October 2015, 9 dead
SANTA FE HIGH SCHOOL, May 2018, 10 dead
OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL, November 2021, 4 dead
ROBB ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, May 2022, 21 dead

they wanted to buy groceries

I just don’t have it in me anymore. Nineteen children and two adults at a school in Uvalde, Texas. We don’t yet know their names.

So here are the names and details of the ten people killed in a supermarket in Buffalo, New York on May 14:

Roberta A. Drury of Buffalo, N.Y. – age 32
Margus D. Morrison of Buffalo, N.Y. – age 52
Andre Mackneil of Auburn, N.Y. – age 53
Aaron Salter of Lockport, N.Y. – age 55
Geraldine Talley of Buffalo, N.Y. – age 62
Celestine Chaney of Buffalo, N.Y. – age 65
Heyward Patterson of Buffalo, N.Y. – age 67
Katherine Massey of Buffalo, N.Y. – age 72
Pearl Young of Buffalo, N.Y. – age 77
Ruth Whitfield of Buffalo, N.Y. – age 86

Mood: Monday


I think every Monday I should steal borrow someone’s photo from the Internet and give it this caption.

Came back to add the below thread, because damn. This is roughly what my brain yells daily.

‘For years during Obama/Biden, you Trumpers claimed “AMERICA!” like you were cowboys or had stormed the beach at Normandy. You screamed that Obama, the constitutional law attorney, was violating the constitution. You claimed to be patriots, constantly. You bitched about…

‘Executive orders, Benghazi where four Americans died in a terrorist attack but then mocked a president who shed tears after 22 little kids died at Sandy Hook. You called these kids parents “crisis actors” while they grieved for their children. When 600 were shot in Vegas…

’58 killed, you just pounded out excuses why we need MORE GUNS! Our country is about freedom of religion, yet You wanted to ban Muslims. You hold up the flag like it’s a deity, but wear it as a shirt, or size 48 cargo shorts so your armpit sweat and ball-cheese desecrate it…

‘We are all watching the unraveling of this wild experiment, America. Trump has cheated, lied, stolen, does it daily. He’s gotten people killed, pulling the troops out of Syria got Kurds, our allies slaughtered. The Russian army has a base WE BUILT. You don’t care. From day one..

‘..with that crazy ass Edgar Allen Poe inaugural speech, to lying about the crowd size. He’s lied 22000 times, your leader. He’s lied about the wall, taxes, infrastructure, job numbers, Epstein, Cohen, Parness, so many have come forward and told you who this failure really is…

‘You shrug it off, he’s killed our free press, at least to you. You think you’re “American?” Seriously? The same people you believed about Obama/Biden, Nixon, whenever they fukd up, you call “fake news.” About a 7 time bankrupt multiple business failure who paid off a pornstar

‘he raw dogged while his illegal immigrant wife was raising their newborn. You claim to follow Christ?! He was sued for raping a 13 year old. Case got dropped 16 days before the election. Wonder what that check looked like. Russian Bounties on our troops, you still have his back..

‘You think you’re Patriots? You make me gag. 200 thousand of your countrymen are dead because he wouldn’t do anything, and Dr. Fauci, a man that was instrumental in stopping AIDS, gets death threats for telling the truth. You pick a man WHO CANT READ, over a genius virologist. Wow.

‘You like him because as many of you say “he’s like me!” Is he? A man who was handed 400 million dollars when daddy died? That sound like you? He’s like you in some ways, he’s not smart, he’s out of shape, he doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. Like you. That’s not US…

‘at all. The greatest generation worked together to beat Germany, and Japan and all who tried to roll over and kill democracy and freedom. We were liberators of concentration camps, now we have concentration camps. And you are fine with it, obedient cult members. With nothing to

‘…show WHY you believe in him. WHY you’re okay with his racism, misogyny, lying, incompetence and destroying an economy that Obama and Biden built back after W’s and Cheney’s destruction of it. No evidence, unless you own stock in coffins and eviction notices. You give reasons…

‘…why it’s okay for our black brothers and sisters to be shot by some asshole teenager wilding with a AR-15. You back him up while a man gets shot seven times. in front of his three kids. “HE HAD A KNIFE!” Bullshit. Or a woman, a nurse, just sleeping, cops bust in, kill her…

‘…against everything this country stands for. It’s unbelievable, unconscionable, unGodly and like you Trump supporters, UnAmerican.
You’re okay with him breaking the post office, filling his pockets with your tax dollars, saying he’d date his daughter. Cuz U wanna date yours?

‘His buddies have been convicted of felonies, he pardons them, you paid for the trial, you paid the cops, the investigators, the judges, and he let em go. Our rule of law, just a history lesson. You’re not American, you don’t give a fuck about America. You’re ready to go into the

‘…street and shoot, pepper spray and run over your countrymen, people who are protesting injustice FOR THIS ASSHOLE? A man that let 200k die, wants you to inject disinfectant and thinks that because he can remember Person Woman Man Camera TV. He’s a genius. Do me a favor because

‘I love this country, what it stands for, the free speech it affords, the opportunity it presents, the freedom it provides, I’ve only done well because of the promise that is America. You say you’re Americans, but you just live here. You don’t cherish it, you sold out cheap

‘to a bankrupt used car salesman who smiles and says “you’re getting the best deal” but the car breaks down on the ride home. Call yourselves what you like, Trumpers, Magats, Deplorables. I don’t give a shit but NEVER call yourselves “AMERICANS” you don’t know what the word means.’

Christopher Titus

…a little storytelling…

Like anyone who gets news via the Internet, I am daily confronted with photos of bubbas with their big bellies and big guns and big belligerence thinking they’re standing up for their rights or their freedoms or what-the-hell ever. I’m always trying to think of names for them (beyond “white supremacists”): bevy of bumpkins? rabble of rednecks? herd of hillbillies? obstinacy of oafs?

It’s a fun game, but because I’m a storyteller, I have another level of fun. I come up with tales about them.

First, I must establish character. These dudes likely never served in the military, and if they’re hunters, they don’t need the weapons they brandish for a squirrel, a rabbit, a deer, etc. Their fallback reason for gun ownership is that they’re protecting their homes and families. I know and love people who say and do the same, although none of them are out waving their guns in public and showing up in my Twitter feed, and I thank y’all for that.

Next, I must think about setting. They are not home protecting their homes and families. They’re standing around businesses and government buildings bullying and berating other people–which I have to tell you, if I were going to a government building to do business and saw them posturing and carrying on, I’d forego a driver’s license or marriage license or building permit and just go home.

Home. Where they should be. You know. To protect their families and property.

Now I have to develop story, and story needs conflict. I pick one from the group–we’ll call him Big Dude–and imagine his home life. I don’t know what his job is, but he gets by. He lives in a decent house on an acre of land. He’s married to Missy and they have two kids who are elementary school age. Missy works for an insurance company and during the Time of Corona, she’s able to work from home. She’s trying to do her job and home school their kids and probably clean the bathroom and let the dog in and out ten times a day. A little help would be nice, but Big Dude is not there. He’s gone somewhere with his friends to stand up for his rights. It’s beginning to be a bit of a pain for her, quite honestly.

Big Dude’s second cousin, Good Ol’ Brian, comes over looking for Big Dude to get help fixing his garage door. Brian has been divorced a few years and has no children, so he’s a kind of honorary uncle to his friends’ kids. When he comes in the house, he can see at a glance that Missy is off the hook. In no time at all, he’s got the kids in the kitchen watching Sponge Bob on his tablet while he makes grilled cheese sandwiches and heats up a can of tomato soup. The dog stays on high alert for a falling bread crust and is finally out from under Missy’s feet.

Meanwhile, Missy answers three emails, takes a load of clothes out of the dryer, refills it, and begins washing a load of sheets. She takes two minutes of precious alone time to pee (she doesn’t forget to wash her hands afterward) and brush her hair, which she forgot to do that morning. When she heads back to her computer, Brian calls her into the kitchen. The kids are eating and laughing at Sponge Bob. Brian points to her place at the table, where he’s put a steaming bowl of soup, a diagonally cut grilled cheese sandwich, and a fresh cup of coffee.

Big Dude, you really should have stayed home and protected your family. Won’t be long and you’ll be discovering a whole new meaning to social distancing.

Love,
Team Brian