Author: Becky

The Héctor Elizondo Effect

I found an article, “Your Cynicism Isn’t Helping Anybody,” completely by accident, and finally, I have a succinct, orderly explanation for why I often call myself a skeptic and why, for many years including right here on this website, I have denounced cynicism. (I think my earliest mention was on Christmas Eve 2007, when I quoted Carol Burnett’s interview on “Inside The Actors Studio,” wherein she said her least favorite word is “cynicism.” INDEED.)

The article I found is from Time, and I know people very often don’t click on links, but you can read it in five or fewer minutes here. I don’t dare post it in its entirety, because I don’t want to violate copyright. In the article, Zaki rebuts and questions the following MYTHS: that cynicism is clever, safe, or moral. In fact, he says, cynicism is a trap that makes us underestimate and distrust others.

Damn near everyone I know, and believe me, that group covers a range of beliefs and attitudes related to the “forbidden” topics: sex, money, politics, and religion, keeps bringing up in our conversations, and on their social media, the same questions these days: why is everyone so mean now, why is everyone so divided and disconnected, and why does no one trust anybody? I agree with the take in this article, that “cynicism,” and the way cynicism is used against us, is at the root of these problems. I’m not a cynic, but possibly I’ll end up getting Zaki’s book, Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness, because that’s how much this article resonated with me.

The many forms of art and creativity can offer us several things. Art can confront us with what’s wrong and destructive in the world and challenge us to make things better in large and small ways. Art can remind us of our common connections and give us hope. Art can elicit our humanity by giving us the opportunity to laugh, weep, and wonder. I’m grateful that during a challenging few months, I’ve had movies to remind me of all of this. My most recent rewatches have been:


1991’s Frankie & Johnny, 1997’s My Best Friend’s Wedding, 1999’s Runaway Bride

Along with their humor, all three of these movies illustrate what a difference believing in oneself and others, or NOT believing in oneself and others, can make in their characters’ lives. Relationships that endure make room for apologies, forgiveness, and changes. Once again, the lead actors inhabit the lives of their characters skillfully, and Héctor Elizondo is in two of the three films, along with others I’ve already watched. If he ever plays a bad guy, I don’t want to see it. =)

In clover


Have you ever heard the phrase “happy as a cow in clover?” Simply put, a cow with lots of clover to eat is a happy cow, so the simile is an obvious one. In time, the idea was shortened to the phrase “in clover,” as in, “You’re in clover here,” or “If we win the lottery, we’ll be in clover,” making it a metaphor instead of a simile (like The Dude in The Big Lebowski, The English Teacher abides).

I can still remember the first time I read the phrase “in clover,” including the book it was in, and though I had no awareness of that old happy cow connection, I knew at the very least, it meant lucky. This could have been because as a child, I was encouraged to look for “lucky” four-leaf clovers. Or it could have been because a 1927 song, “I’m Looking Over A Four Leaf Clover,” was often sung on variety shows in the 1960s and 1970s (Mitch Miller, Lawrence Welk, Donny and Marie), plus both Bugs Bunny and Tweety Bird sang variations of the song in cartoons. As recently as 2013, actress/singer Emmy Rossum included it on her album Sentimental Journey.

Clover continues to be a plant I think of as happy, and it’s one of the few things that survives in our yard, even during drought years. Fun fact: shamrocks never have a four-leaf clover, so if you find one, you’re either looking through white clover or a similar ground cover.

The photo at the top of this post shows some of the clover in our yard. It’ll happily jump right into our pots to keep plants company, too. Like its theme song and use as an idiom, The Clover abides.

Tiny Tuesday!


Eva Ruby, the tiniest member of the Batpack, did start coughing less over the weekend, so we thought things would be okay. Then yesterday, her appetite went away, and in the evening, we feared we saw a little blood in a liquid-y stool (sorry; dog people overshare). Off she went with the Supreme Ruler of Her World, Tom, to the emergency vet. After x-rays, bloodwork, and no coughing for the doctors, she was thought to be on the mend from whatever caused the cough. For a dog her size, eating even a blade of grass could have irritated her throat. She had no fever, nothing too alarming in the x-rays, but her bloodwork showed she was severely dehydrated. So she got sub-Q fluids, anti-nausea meds, and about four hours worth of monitoring before Tom brought her home. Now she’s on a bland, small-portion diet several times a day, and the credit card bill is not so tiny. Worth it for that smile and our peace of mind.


There is one topic about which Eva is serious and wants to have a word. (We think it’s from hanging out in a house with too many fashion dolls.) She says, “This is the day after Labor Day. Pack those white shoes away immediately. You’ll see them again at Easter and beyond. Yes, Florida, even you. If Texans can pack away their white boots and strappy heels, so can you other coastal fashionistas.”

Into the closet. See them next spring!
Approved year-round choices.

She does, however, make allowances for sneakers, tennis shoes, running shoes, and gym shoes. This is not simply because they’re sporty. They’re also optimal dog-walking shoes. Priorities…

As for me, I tried to rewatch this 1998 movie while Tom and Eva were at the ER. There was a lot of stopping and restarting because of ongoing texts. It was still fun seeing Sigourney Weaver play Katharine, a treacherous boss, and Melanie Griffin play Tess, who’s smart, sweet, and sexy. As she tells Harrison Ford’s Jack (why are so many RomCom leading men named Jack?), “I have a head for business and a body for sin.” A stellar supporting cast portraying working women (Joan Cusack is gold, as always) and sleazy men (though there are good guys, too). Bonus: A brief but good appearance by Olympia Dukakis as a personnel director at an employment agency is one of several characters who show the value of women mentoring women in the workplace.

Sunday Sundries


Little boxes. Their value is in who gave them or that they contain small gifts of nature from loved ones. Not all boxes are square, right?1

Here were today’s RomCom rewatches from 2005 and 1991. As with many of these movies, the number of years since their release dates often stuns me.

1From The Polymer Arts, 2013, “Today’s thought on boxes is pretty simple: a box does not have to be square. It doesn’t even have to have straight sides or be flat on the bottom. A box is basically a container used to hold or store things and has a lid. That’s a pretty wide open definition, which is great for an artist.”

Yesterday Once More

Since I was only able to get about three hours of sleep Thursday night, even though I managed a couple of short naps during the day (the dogs approve of this lifestyle), my brain was too tired to offer me much that was productive. I posted to Photo Friday, paid some bills, and got the dogs in and out between rain showers, but mostly I gave myself over to two RomComs. Nor did I try to atone for passive entertainment by coloring or researching for the Neverending Saga. T.I.R.E.D.

First up was 1996’s One Fine Day with Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney. George was looking mighty young in this film. At one point, his newspaper reporter character Jack describes Michelle Pfeiffer’s architect character Melanie as “luminous,” which is how I’d still describe her. Movie cameras love her. The one scene I always remember from this movie is the first time (of several) Melanie’s son stains her shirt. She carries a leather bag (how Jack envies this bag) filled with things a mom-on-the-go needs, and grabs one of her son’s T-shirts, emblazoned with a dinosaur, switching it with her shirt. TINY woman! But enough about their looks. The movie is frantic with the pace of two busy New Yorkers trying to balance work with parenting. They meet; they bicker; they negotiate; they commiserate over children who are sometimes maddening, sometimes wonderful; they give each other some grace with a lot of sass; they fall in love–all in the same day. It would take me hundreds of pages…or many books…to write such a thing. =)

Then after dinner last night (and an episode of the funny TV show “Ghosts,”), I wanted to keep myself awake long enough not to go to bed too early and then be wide awake in the middle of the night. I chose the 1995 Sandra Bullock (playing Lucy)/Bill Pullman (playing another Jack) RomCom While You Were Sleeping, about a misunderstanding taken to an extreme. Can anyone play more likable characters in this genre than Sandra Bullock? Equally likable is Jack, and unlike in Sleepless In Seattle when Bill Pullman lost the girl, this time, he’s the lucky guy. The talented supporting cast is by turns funny, sweet, and ridiculous. It’s a good comfort movie to see before bedtime, and YES! I slept six hours, woke up for a while, then slept again off and on for at least another two hours. SO GRATEFUL to feel rested in the morning.

Cats and dogs (both my Coventry novels have dogs) are always good in RomComs. These movies both featured cats. In One Fine Day, the newspaper editor keeps a cat, Lois Lane, in his office who is important in a couple of plot points. At one point, Jack’s daughter chases a stray tabby cat, who she follows into a store, where she finds the cat has kittens, including one named Bob. These cats, too, are all part of the action and plot development.

In While You Were Sleeping, Lucy has a cat named Mel (played by rescue cat actor Princess) who provides some amusing moments. When Lucy realizes that Peter, hospitalized in a coma, has a cat which no one in his family knows about (he was only catsitting), she gets into his apartment to take care of Fluffy, providing more comedic moments with Jack.

This afternoon, Tom and I both had hair appointments with Larry in our old ‘hood. That’s three hours in the shop, the drives there and back, plus picking up dinner for us and Debby on the way home. We wanted to thank her for sitting with our dogs for those hours. We’d been a little concerned about Eva, who was hacking and coughing periodically before we left. We gave her some warm water with honey, which can sooth an irritated throat. She didn’t have a fever, and none of the dogs have been around any other dogs who could have given them anything like kennel cough, but since she wasn’t interested in breakfast this morning, we wanted to be cautious. Debby said she only coughed a couple of times, though she did cough a lot when we got home–maybe she was over-excited, because Tom is her whole reason for existence. Seriously, she starts watching the front door an hour and a half before he gets home from the office. But she ate her dinner with no problem and hasn’t coughed so far since dinnertime. Fingers crossed!

My hair is very short! Which is fine, but strange to see in the mirror. And since last night’s film got me in the mood for more Sandra Bullock, tonight’s DVD rewatch will be 2000’s Miss Congeniality, with Sandra Bullock as FBI Special Agent Gracie Hart, Benjamin Bratt, Michael Caine, Candice Bergen, William Shatner, Ernie Hudson, and John DiResta among the cast. After the movie, I’ll read a while before I get another hopefully good night’s sleep on this Labor Day Weekend. If so, tomorrow: WRITING!

Writing prompt

Today has been a research day with only a small bit of writing. My character has wanted something she can’t get, and now she will be meeting the person who thwarted her. When she takes the time to listen to a bit of this person’s family history, she begins to understand. The problem is, I’M the one who has to come up with that history, and it’s taken many hours of research and thought. I’ll be ready to dive into writing it all tomorrow, I hope.

In the interest of writing something, I grabbed this book and opened it to a random page, where the prompt read, Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? I thought of another of my characters who finds late afternoon and early evening the low point of his day. He gets that from me. Sunrises. Definitely sunrises, never more so than when we have power outages, and I get to experience what I wrote below. Don’t know if you can read it, but feel free to share your own preference in comments.

Mid-week once more

Yesterday was spent writing and rewriting. Editing and revising. Writing a little more, and working out plot points in the Neverending Saga. My thoughts were so much north of here with Lynne and Minute, and I tried to memorialize that funny, sassy, brave, and loyal Westie in the post I wrote and the photos I picked. My brain was tired by the time I ate dinner, so I decided to delve into RomCom adaptations of Jane Austen’s novels.

I started with the 1996 DVD of Emma, with Gwyneth Paltrow. I think she does a wonderful job of portraying Emma and her well-intentioned meddling in the romantic lives of others. This movie makes me laugh a lot, beginning to end, so it was just what I needed. (Favorite quote from Gwyneth as Emma, when Emma fears that Mr. Knightley has gone to visit his brother John, and possibly ask his advice about taking a wife, and Emma tells her former governess: “Oh, but if he seems happy, I will know that he’s decided to marry Harriet, and I will not, I know I will not, be able to let him tell me. But if he seems sad, I’ll know that John has advised him against it. I love John! Or he may seem sad because he fears telling me he will marry my friend. How can John let him do that? I hate John!”


I fell in love with Jane Austen’s writing at age eleven, when I read a “condensed” version of Pride and Prejudice (adapted for younger readers in my Readers Digest Best Loved Books For Young Readers, shown on the lower left in the photo above). It was only later, thanks to library books, that I read more of Austen when I was old enough to appreciate her as an adult reader. Then I was either a struggling student, teacher, or whatever other jobs I took to keep my head above water, and you can see the used books I grabbed so I could read more Austen or reread favorites. (I also have Pride and Prejudice as an eBook, and several novels by other authors that feature fictitious versions of Jane Austen herself, or use her literary romances to create novels of their own.)

The book on the lower right is an edition of Sense and Sensibility that came out in 1995, the same year as the movie with Emma Thompson, Kate Winslet, Alan Rickman, and Hugh Grant. It has photos of the cast in costume inside it. This evening, while I cooked, so I wouldn’t BURN THE PEAS, Lynne and Debby, I put my laptop on the bar in the kitchen and finished watching the movie that I’d started after I did my writing/editing for the day. Tom got home from work and was looking over my shoulder while he was feeding the dogs, and said this movie has some of his favorite actors. I know for sure no one could portray Colonel Brandon as well as Alan Rickman, but he’s right. The entire cast, leads and supporting actors, is stellar.

I’ve seen a couple of film adaptations of Persuasion, and several of Pride and Prejudice, but without a doubt my absolute favorite is the 1995 BBC television series with Colin Firth. Once I saw him, there will never, never be another Mr. Darcy for me, and I don’t care how many beautiful actors rise up to play the part. I mentioned watching it in this post in 2016. I rewatched it at some point during the pandemic after I got laid off. It’s such a comfort watch for me, but it is an investment of time, so I think my recent watch of a newer version of Persuasion, and these rewatches of Emma and Sense and Sensibility will conclude my Austen RomComs for this go-round.

Tiny Tuesday!


In the fall of 2006, a new dog came into our lives, Lynne’s Minute.

Last night, Lynne posted about Minute on her Instagram. In her words: This girl has been with me for 18 years. She has been my reason to go home when it was the last place I wanted to go. She made the house not empty. She has run with a Doberman, a Mastiff, an American bulldog, and a chihuahua. She’s chased squirrels up trees, chewed many harnesses, and rode many miles. Stoic and brave. Not aware she was only 17 pounds of sass. She’s never been one to run off. She always wants to be where I am. Faithful and true. She has come to the end of her watch. I will miss her every day.

This morning, Lynne and Minute said goodbye. We will all miss Minute, too. I like to think I contributed to naming her. I don’t know if I saw a photo or saw her in person, but I said, “She’s no bigger than a minute!” Lynne answered, “That’s what Jess said, too.” It seemed fated that she become Jess’s little sister Minute. For a while, Minute had her own blog. I still go and look at it sometimes. She came into a home with siblings: Greta, the Dowager Doberman, and Little Blind Sparky. They were a great trio. She also became an aunt and best friends with Jess and Laura’s dogs and honestly thought she was the same size as them: Seig, a Doberman, Sue, the American bulldog, and Sam, a HUGE mastiff, and later, Ruby and Ginger. When she welcomed her chihuahua brother Paco to her family, it may have been the first time a family dog was smaller than her!

Lynne’s grandchildren have never known a world without Minute.

Lila with Minute and Paco.

Isaac and Minute, photo courtesy of Lynne.

At The Compound, she was a running mate to our Margot, Guinness, and then Anime; Tim’s Rex, Pixie, Penny, and then Pollock. A friend to Rhonda and Lindsey’s Sugar when they visited. At Houndstooth Hall, she befriended Debby’s Harley and Stewie, and Rhonda and Lindsey’s Pepper when she joined their family. She welcomed Delta, Jack, and Eva into the batpack. Who knows how many of our foster dogs she met through the years, but I never saw her exchange a harsh word with another dog. As far as she was concerned, in the dog world, she never met a stranger. She gave every dog a chance to be a potential new friend, though there was a special bond between her and Anime. But all other dogs she met as equals, and she was their monarch.

Some of her photos through the years.

Timothy with Minute. He often took care of her and her siblings.


One of my first photos of Minute, taken on a baking night in December of 2006. We had a houseful of bakers and assistants at The Compound, giving Minute a big social debut at an early age. No dogs were intoxicated in the making of this photo. That bottle of Jack was for whiskey balls as an experiment with our rum ball recipe.


Rex playing with Minute.


Minute with her brother Sparky, and on the floor, her nephew Seig.


Minute ready to garden with Margot, Sparky, Guinness, and Rex.


One time, when I took care of Sparky and Minute, I had them both bathed and brushed by a groomer. Sparky LOVED it and was invigorated. Minute, who loved nothing better than getting muddy, tolerated it but was outraged that I let them put this silly bow on her. She was a WARRIOR, not a girly girl!


Minute and her little brother Paco.


Besties. Minute and Anime. Even as she aged and slowed down, Minute and Anime would become like playful puppies when they got together again. They were never far from each other.


Jack, Eva, and Minute.


Pepper grabs the couch, while Minute, Anime, and Eva sleep in the distance.


Hard to get them all in one shot, but here’s Delta with Minute, Eva, Jack, and to the far right, Anime.


Tom and Minute on a recent visit.


Sweet and spicy: a blended foursome.


She was a tiny girl, and in honor of Tiny Tuesday, I tried to find the little dog I put on Lynne’s birthday cake in 2007. I never found it. Maybe I gave it to Lynne.

I did unpack these two Birthstone Barbies with their companions.

Miss Sapphire with her Westie. Sapphires represent love, royalty, and protection, and that tracks for Minute on all three counts. On a whim, I checked Miss Topaz, because that’s Lynne’s birth month, and what better dog to be represented than a little tan and white chihuahua. I know Paco was first to greet Minute at the Rainbow Bridge; how he must have missed her. The wild rumpus then began with her many friends at their reunion.