Author: Becky

Mid-week roundup

Still really having to take it easy. We had some brief power flickers today because of storms, but fortunately no outage. I think Tom said there are about 75,000 in the area without power post-storm.

So far this week, I’ve watched this DVD I bought sometime last year, the reboot of Sex and The City, ten episodes total. The second season of this starts streaming tomorrow, I think, though I don’t have whatever it streams on, as far as I know. I’d rather wait until the next DVD drops. Waiting between episodes of something usually means I forget about it.

Also read this book by ‘Nathan Burgoine on my iPad. I hadn’t realized this was an addition to ‘Nathan’s Little Village series, all of which I have and either read or will read. It was interesting to find two of his stories that Tim and I edited for Cleis Press anthologies fit nicely into this collection, too. (It was also kind of him to mention Tim and me as the editors who gave him his first YES. He’s published a lot since those days!) I was happy my eyes were willing to read, and this was an engaging way to ease back into doing so.

I might have to wait a while to tackle this one, a 1971 offering from James Michener. It’s around 750 pages; that’s a lot of commitment. One of my characters needed something to read back in ’71, and I chose this for her. I figured I can’t know if it engages her unless I attempt it myself. (I know what I’m getting into, having read Michener in the past, though it’s been decades.) It was either this or one of the Russian writers, but the timing was good for this one, and I think the Russians might exhaust me. Will be reading this one in hardcover.

Still not writing the new last chapter for my own sixth novel in the Neverending Saga, but I’ve done a little revising on earlier chapters. Even eyes need to take baby steps.

Tiny Tuesday!

It’s June 20, the release date of the movie Jaws in 1975. Since I’m homebound post-surgery, Tom has been doing the errand running, and last week he picked up this tiny tin of mints for me.

I was delighted! I’m not really a fan of horror films, even less so as I’ve aged, but I loved Jaws and it began my fascination with sharks (the movie regrettably did them a disservice). I also liked the Peter Benchley novel it was based on. I saw only the first sequel, and though it was silly, true confession, I watched it in the theater with altered perceptions, so I enjoyed it on that level.


Here’s the back of the tin. The tiny mints are cherry flavored (I laughed that they are Amity Island Sours), and they’re in the shape of shark teeth.

As for the tagline on the front, of course YouTube provides a clip.

One of my favorite accounts on Instagram is The Life of Sharks. Now and then, Christian Talbot and Sophie Hodge provide a cartoon with a good Jaws reference, and here’s one with backstory on Captain Quint, the shark hunter in the video.

Mood: Monday

Photo previously posted here was of the work Pinecone #7, oil on panel with gold leaf, 2021, by Matthew Hopkins.

I’ve always liked pinecones, and I have several small ones Tom has found on walks through the years. They’re in one of our curio cabinets. The writer (not the actor) Maggie Smith’s book You Could Make This Place Beautiful: A Memoir begins with the existence of a pine cone that exposes a betrayal and leads to the disintegration of a relationship and family. It’s painful to read, and that it’s so sparingly, artistically written made it break my heart more.

Other readers might not agree with me, but I rarely like writing only because I identify with it, or I think it’s describing my own experience or that of someone I know or care about. I want to be absorbed into a world that exists in and of itself, for its own self, whether it’s memoir/autobiography, biography, fiction, or poetry. I don’t need to find myself in a work, only to find something authentic.

That being said, once I closed the book and thought about its impact, I did reflect on betrayal. I’ve experienced it a few times (not the way Smith has), to varying degrees, with mixed outcomes, and almost certainly with forgiveness because for me, that’s a vital step in removing its power. A person who’s betrayed me may not remain part of my life, and I don’t forget (because there are lessons in everything), but I’m not a grudge holder, and I’m not vindictive. Again, that’s a way to retake control of my own story from the one who betrayed me.

I also acknowledge there are times in my life when others have felt betrayed by my actions. I hope I was forgiven and think I’m more likely to have been forgotten, whatever outcome was best for them. I wasn’t malicious, just young and/or stupid and/or careless, and sometimes just lost.

“Betrayal” was number two of a topic list I made here on June 7, and I’d posted a photo that included the book filled with Post-it Flags. I’ll flip through it now to see if there are any quotes that, having resonated with me despite my very different story, might resonate with you.

p 169: “I am not alone. Whatever else there was or is, writing is with me.–Lidia Yuknavitch”

p 211, in a chapter titled “About The Body”: “My trigger is stress, so my treatment is perspective.”

p 236: “How I picture it: A scar tells a story about pain, injury, and healing. Years, too, are scars. … The year of Rilke written on a yellow sticky note … referred to daily: ‘Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.’”

Happy Father’s Day!

Maybe you had one by birth or by nurture as a stepdad, surrogate dad, adopted dad, mentor dad, dad-in-law, or a friend’s dad, today I celebrate those you’ve loved who’ve loved you. A few photos to recognize this day.


An early photo of Daddy and me.


Tom was one month old in this photo of his dad and him.

Happy anniversary today to Tom! He’s been the best dog dad through thirty-five years to:


Eva, Delta, Jack, and Anime.


Guinness and Margot.


Stevie and Pete.

Pop vibe

Yesterday, they were able to fit me in to see my ophthalmologist for a second post-op consult, and he talked me through my concerns after an eye exam. Anxiety is a nasty little companion, and I’m really grateful to my healthcare providers for their understanding. Healing proceeds.

I’m able to stream shows on my laptop, with brightness lowered and without eyestrain, so I finished the rest of the episodes for the second season of “Dickinson” on Wednesday and Thursday (a character who should be sinister but is fun returned from the first season). Yesterday after the doctor visit, I finished the final season of “Grace and Frankie” which I’d started last year before I got distracted. Earlier today, I watched a documentary called “Inventing David Geffen” from 2012. Now and then, I get reinforcement for directions I take in the Neverending Saga, and this was one of those times.

Sometime in the last week, I was researching the pop artist Peter Max (I have two of his posters from my teen years hanging in the writing sanctuary) when I stumbled across one of his works called “The Different Drummer.” Online, it’s described as a “groundbreaking poster for a hip clothing store on Lexington Avenue in Manhattan frequented by hippies and rock stars at the height of the counterculture zeitgeist in the ’60s. This rare and vintage poster exemplifies this era of the artist’s work where his colorful and euphoric subjects explore fantastical worlds.”

I’m all about drummers and hip clothing stores, so now one of those posters belongs to me. Bottom right in this photo.

ETA ON 6/27: Got to move the “Three Guitars” painting where I wanted it originally thanks to the changes.

Photo Friday, No. 862

Current Photo Friday theme: Boat

On the horizon: Just one day shy of six years since I took this photo while we vacationed with family at the Gulf of Mexico. We got some weather thanks to Tropical Storm Cindy but had a great time despite that. I’ve visited the Gulf of Mexico from the Keys, the dividing line between the Atlantic and the Gulf, around the shorelines of Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas, all the way down to South Padre Island. Love the North Atlantic coast and every bit of the Pacific coast I’ve visited, but the Gulf of Mexico is wired into my personal history, hurricanes and floods included.

I asked my go-to source for marine vessels if he could make a guess what this boat is, and here’s what I got (thank you! and OMG, I’m always impressed by people’s knowledge): It’s likely that that tug actually functions here as a type of push boat. There’s some way it’s mated up to the barge it’s pushing, but it could disconnect once it gets the barge to its destination. It appears to be a work barge of some sort. Maybe it lays pipe, or builds/services some sort of facility. It has the slanted bow of a vessel designed to handle rough water, to a greater than usual extent. The tug has its full crew. The barge is probably lightly staffed until it gets to its work site, at which point a full corps of workers are transported to it. The reason the tug is pushing instead of pulling is that by being behind the barge it’s in its lee from rough seas. If towing, it could be at the “mercy” of the seas, which when towing isn’t necessarily a great place to be.

If you have an interest in boats and ships in the Gulf of Mexico, this is a site that tracks that area or, if you zoom out, the whole globe, to show locations of Containers, Tankers, FSO Tankers, Cargo, Car Carriers, Passenger, Military, Tug & Pilot, Fishing, Sailing Ships, Ferries, Autonomous, Submarines, Icebreakers, Tall Ships, and Super Yachts. Just in case you were hoping to run into a billionaire or a spouse in hiding somewhere on the high seas. (Does that make you wonder if at least one of those plot lines could be in the Neverending Saga?)

Back to the Gulf of Mexico, if I ranked my favorite songs by John Mellencamp, “Pink Houses” would definitely be in the Top Five. It also joins the canon of songs misused because people don’t listen to/think about the lyrics. I chose this particular live video because he’s using my favorite of his guitars, a Gibson Dove acoustic (with “Fuck Facism [sic]” scratched onto the body).

Well, there’s people and more people
What do they know, know, know
Go to work in some high rise
And vacation down at the Gulf of Mexico
And there’s winners, and there’s losers
But they ain’t no big deal
Cause the simple man baby pays the thrills
The bills, the pills that kill

MIA characters

The theme from my main go-to-for-info person since surgery is BE PATIENT. Healing takes time, probably longer than I expect.

I explained to Tom and my friendship support team that I think I had to work so hard at mentally preparing myself for surgery (I’ve never had surgery in my life), then the post-op on Tuesday, that a crash was bound to come: fatigue, anxiety, etc. More than a couple of people in my life are on their own challenging health journeys now, all worse than anything I’m experiencing, but like everyone else, I can only attempt to manage the progression, narrative, and outcome of my own life. I need to give myself permission to feel what I feel and deal with it as I can.

Plus I’m always grateful for the good and the miraculous. Today is the due date of one of our nieces; soon we’ll have a new life to celebrate! (ETA to add correction: The due date is JULY 14. We’d been accidentally misinformed.)

I think I did too much yesterday; I put together a good lunch, and I wanted real food cooked at home so I did a full meal at dinner. I was on my feet a lot.

I’ve probably shared the story before of one of my uncles, who was I don’t know how old, much older than I am now, who had a leg amputated. When they took him home from the hospital, he was alone for a bit. When his family members returned, they found him sitting on the floor vacuuming. My mother had a hysterectomy in her early forties, and the day after coming home, she cooked a full Thanksgiving dinner for us all and my brother’s girlfriend who we met for the first time that day (a petite girl who would later marry my brother and eventually give birth to a nine pound, nine ounce baby boy).

That’s the kind of stock I think I have to live up to, and I DON’T. =) So today, I was less ambitious and rested more, and there were lots of good leftovers in the fridge that Tom could use for his meal. I just put together one of my favorite kind of plates.


My simple dinner of half an apple, a few chips, hummus with carrots and celery, and a few slices of salami and pepperoni.

Tom had to run errands on his way home from work tonight and surprised me with my fave snack for later: Target popcorn!

I’m keeping up here, and also keeping up in my day planner, but anything that asks for too much from my eyes doesn’t happen. I so, SO much want to finish this last chapter of Book Six, but no way can I stare at the monitor long enough to write. I miss watching my characters come to life and deliver surprises.

But again: patience.

Tiny Tuesday!

My post-op appointment with the ophthalmologist went well today. Healing appears to be on schedule, and I was given updated after-care instructions. I also was given a little kit that included these sunglasses.

For me, these were a game-changer on the ride home because of the tinted lenses on the sides and the ridge on the top edge for my peripheral vision. AT LAST all the motion, light, and shadows weren’t startling and overwhelming me. Anyone who’s been driving me (Tom, Lynne), who I kept telling, “It’s not you, it’s me!” it really wasn’t your driving.

Caveat for driving in Houston: It’s always good to anticipate the batshit shenanigans of bad drivers, as well as to avoid expressing your anger at other drivers in visible ways. Not every tale about Texas is a tall tale. 😲