First of three

I’ll be sharing some very cool stuff Lynne put a lot of work into for me. Since I want to write about each one, I’ll feature them in different posts.

This is Lynne’s recent restoration of a quilt my mother made in 1982 and 1983 with squares each contributor signed with our names and often some artwork. It included family members, people who were special to her and my father during that time, and people who were part of their three kids’ lives during the same period. For privacy, I’ve blurred out last names (other than Cochrane).

The original version hung in the writing sanctuary, which means I’ve looked at it every day from the time I began writing in this room in April 2020. I had some issues with it. I’m not sure what my mother’s reasoning was for how she arranged the signature squares. I think it likely had to do with when they were returned to her or when she had time to embroider them. It left family members oddly placed.

It also included two people who left our lives within a few years of the quilt’s creation because of their toxic impact. It meant each time I looked at the quilt, I was reminded of them, and I didn’t want to be. I don’t deny our history, and I recognize whatever good there was in these two people, but ultimately, they weren’t good for us.

I asked Lynne if it would be possible to alter the quilt, and that request resulted in a complete deconstruction and update. She saved every square–including the two that were removed, which are now stored elsewhere. I didn’t obliterate them, just stopped them from being featured–deciding not to glorify wrongs of the past that are hurtful. Lynne meticulously cleaned forty years of dust and the stain of cigarette smoke from them in a way that would cause no damage. Debby wanted to alter her square, and between the three of us, that was managed, with Lynne doing the embroidery required.

Removing those two squares was like removing a weight from my heart, and I asked Tom and Timothy to create squares to replace them. They’re not the only people who I could wish were on this quilt because of their deep connections to my mother through the years, but they both did so much for her in the last four years of her life: moving her several times, driving her when she was no longer able, entertaining her, shopping with her, treating her to meals, and celebrating holidays and birthdays with her. Tom is family by marriage, and Tim is family by choice. They’re appreciated not only for all they did, but for those relationships, and they represent other family members of both types. (I’m going to make particular note of Terri, Lois, Arliss, Lisa B, Aaron, Alex, Jay, Amber, Lindsey, and Rhonda.) Lynne embroidered Tim’s and Tom’s squares just as Mother would have.

Lynne rebuilt the quilt using my diagram, which means every Cochrane is now linked to another Cochrane, and children are connected to their children. The same was done with friends who are now connected to their children. There’s also an embroidered label on the back giving the dates and makers of the original and restored quilt.

Would my mother like being edited? I don’t know. She’d like knowing how much what she created means to me and that I display it. She’d appreciate the care Lynne took in preserving and restoring it and adding her own stitching to it. Lynne also added a border that ties together the colors Mother chose, and she put loops on the top so it could hang in a way that wouldn’t damage the original quilt.

This painstaking labor of love on Lynne’s part, and the contributions from Debby, Tom, and Timothy, remind me of the significance of our birth and chosen families. THIS is something my mother absolutely believed and taught us. I think she’d be happy and proud that her three children, and her grandchildren, continue to share that belief.

Thank you, Lynne, from one of your other families since 1968. <3