Recently someone cracked me up on Instagram by reposting something similar to this post I found on Twitter:
I won’t get into the history of how Elf on a Shelf came about and why people argue over it; it’s all easy to find thanks to Google.
Tom has an elf that he got when he was a wee child. Elf and Delta cooperated with this pose.
There’s no controversy surrounding Elf on a Delta:
Does not spy on anyone. In fact, he won’t even tell me where the lizard I was trying to help out of the house fled to yesterday. I figure I’ll probably wake up some morning to find that lizard side-eyeing me from my pillow.****
Does not report to Santa. They haven’t spoken since that one Thanksgiving sometime in the 1980s. Don’t all families have a story like that?
Is not a tradition. Some holidays, he doesn’t even show up to hang out on the tree. No one notices, and he doesn’t care. He has his own rich inner life and does not crave attention.
Will not be writing a tell-all. Knows that writing is labor-intensive and holds no promise of readership or rewards. Prefers to do Elf things.
Supports others’ decisions. Napping? Phone alerts and rings turned off? Just one more episode of what you’re binge-watching on Netflix? Spending the day in your PJs? Eating popcorn for dinner? Putting off the lawn-mowing for another day? Talking to your dog, cat, bird, ferret, vanishing lizard, or imaginary friends and ignoring your email? Elf on a Delta says treat yourself.
****ETA: Tom has saved the lizard, who is now living happily outside as lizards should. It’s an Elfin Christmas miracle!
Thank goodness for Tom!
I may have heard of the elf on the shelf thing back in the day. I’m not sure, but I think it stirs a vague memory. I don’t think it’s a thing here. Or maybe it is and it’s passed me by?
Dates back to 2005. From Wikipedia:
The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition is a 2005 American picture book for children, written by Carol Aebersold and her daughter Chanda Bell, and illustrated by Coë Steinwart. The book tells a Christmas-themed story, written in rhyme, that explains how Santa Claus knows who is naughty and nice. It describes elves visiting children from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve, after which they return to the North Pole until the next holiday season. The Elf on the Shelf comes in a keepsake box that features a hardbound picture book and a small scout elf. The authors say the story is from a family tradition started by Carol Aebersold for her twin daughters, Chanda Bell and Christa Pitts in Georgia.
Tom is a great rescuer of things that I don’t want to kill but also don’t want to touch, including lizards and spiders.
Tom and I had similar elf’s. He wasn’t a spy then
He never has been except in the imaginations of people hoping to control children’s behavior during the holiday season. A variation on the judgmental behavior of Santa Claus and his naughty or nice list.
Oh of course, as I was thinking airplanes for some obscure reason, but astonishingly not triangles.
Well, she got her name from the jets because of her ears, so you were accurate, regardless.