Earlier in September, I posted about a book I bought. I realized that it was damaged and had to be returned. Yesterday when I went to get my flu shot, I found a good copy. I’m showing it here with two of my FCTRY action figures.
David Lienemann was the White House photographer for Joe Biden during the Obama-Biden administration. I became aware of him through Pete Souza, who was Barack Obama’s WH photographer and who I’ve mentioned on this blog several times. I followed Souza’s work throughout his entire eight years on the WH Flickr account, and I continue to follow him on his Instagram account. His pictures remain powerful, moving, inspirational, and comforting to me. I’m interested in knowing Lienemann’s work better.
This year has been a time of deep reflection, as well as a time of growth. I’ve let go of some things and focused more on what matters to me. I sometimes review my personal history to better understand the people who, and experiences that, shaped me.
In relationships, I could provide an entire list of things I reject when they’re said to me, about me. I don’t like to be defined by others who think they know me when they don’t really know me, and when they come up with labels for me that I know are inaccurate. Some annoy me; some amuse me; some hurt me. I’ve lived a thoroughly examined life. I know who I am, and no one better knows my strengths, flaws, abilities (or lack), and vulnerabilities than I. I’m my toughest critic, and sometimes I need to be my most enthusiastic cheerleader. In my defense, I do hear what is said and consider it before I reject it. I can also learn new things about myself. A few years back, Jim (my writing partner) made a statement about me that was startling, but I acknowledged the truth of it. It gave me a deeper understanding of myself.
The good news for you is: I never imagine I know you better than you know YOUR self. That doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes struggle to unlock the code of a person who confuses me. That’s kept me awake many nights of my life.
Some things that once would have sent me careening downward emotionally I can shrug off now. Words still have the power to hurt me and incite me, but I find it easier to shift my focus to the words that inspire, enlighten, or comfort me. I recognize my finite amount of time and energy left on this planet. I make choices to use those as I believe best.
I’m no stranger to skepticism, but I’m still the enemy of cynicism. I choose hope. I choose optimism. I choose, as I have always said, to act on the side of compassion. When I see a lack of compassion in others, from people I know to people I will never know, I quietly recognize it, acknowledge it, and try hard not to give it power over me. I don’t have the time or energy to debate. I no longer have the inclination to try to teach or enlighten. There are better, wiser sources for enlightenment than I will ever be. If I’m goaded into speaking when I don’t want to, it rarely goes well. I still listen. That’s built into my DNA as someone who likes people and their stories and also as a writer.
If my right actions in life are not enough for you to know my character, then nothing I can say will inform you anyway. If my wrong actions are hurtful, and I know about them and apologize–and I have no problem saying these words: “I am/was wrong.” “I am sorry.”–and maybe you can forgive, though you can’t forget and let it go, but you also can’t let me go, I understand. I think you, too, may act on the side of compassion. I think you, too, may have come to the conclusion that the things that divide us are not as powerful as the things that unite us.
I cry a lot more than I used to. I try to accept that as a sign that I care. That I’m still engaged. That I’m not dead inside.
We make choices. Sometimes I share mine. Sometimes I don’t. I can say without hesitation that my choice to vote for Joe Biden is one I’m not reluctant to share. That choice has been determined by his character and his actions, which I’ve examined for many years, not just in election years.
I never think any public figure–politician, celebrity, personage in any number of fields–is flawless. We all make mistakes. We all fail and falter sometimes. What do we learn from that? How do we grow? How do we strive to rise to the best in ourselves? How do we treat others? All those things figure in to how I measure a human.
I also take into consideration how a person makes me feel. If I feel torn down, emotionally damaged, sad, defeated, or hopeless because of someone, I will not trust that person’s character.
A lot of words. Not particularly organized. Just some honesty off the top of my head prompted by this information I found when researching a writing project.
There Are None So Blind As Those Who Will Not See:
According to the ‘Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings’ this proverb has been traced back to 1546 (John Heywood), and resembles the Biblical verse Jeremiah 5:21 (‘Hear now this, O foolish people, and without understanding; which have eyes, and see not; which have ears, and hear not’). In 1738 it was used by Jonathan Swift in his ‘Polite Conversation’ and is first attested in the United States in the 1713 ‘Works of Thomas Chalkley’. The full saying is: ‘There are none so blind as those who will not see. The most deluded people are those who choose to ignore what they already know’.
Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings” by Gregory Y. Titelman (Random House, New York, 1996).