“Bully” is a word we probably overuse these days. Not all bad behavior falls into that category, and the definition of bullying shouldn’t be undercut by making the word commonplace or ascribing it to any situation in which we’re made to feel uncomfortable. I tend more easily to call people toxic, and that’s not the same as being a bully.
Recently I’ve had occasion to do some reading on what should be an unrelated subject, but it turns out it’s not. Bullying is not limited to a certain age or a certain situation. When a person uses his or her perceived power over others to embarrass them, mock them, belittle them or their efforts and accomplishments, or actively try to undercut their sense of self-esteem, there’s a bully or at least a bully-in-training inside that skin.
It’s nothing new, really, but it still takes me aback, whether or not it’s directed at me. As I grapple with it, I see that others are, too, and I think of all the time and energy wasted. It took me a long time to decide to even address it here because it’s an insidious thing that can be tough to identify and tough to believe. I’m having a hard time knowing what to do about it and feeling guilty for writing about it now. Maybe that’s how bullying works–it makes us fear using our voices or trusting our instincts.
I’ve been bullied. And I do my best to stand up for my friends when I feel someone is hurting or undermining them. I don’t know that I have succeeded in each case, but I do try.
It’s a hard thing for me to watch and get my head around, and I have a lot of years behind me. I can see how it would be crushing for someone young who’s already dealing with a lot of confusing experiences.
Well whoever is being bullied I am sorry to hear it, it can leave you broken, and it can take a long time to heal. I hope this person has someone to hold his/her hand
Everyone will be okay.
I’m hoping to finally have some time to give to good friends like you and for more creative things by getting myself undistracted by and unconnected to social media. Wish me luck!
I’m feeling a little broken too. Good thing I’m scrappy. Mari
And I thought you were Scooby. 😉
I KNEW you were going to say that … somehow we will be okay
I’m too predictable.
I think those who bully are hiding their own self-perceived inadequacy.
Agreed.