Oh, look, Debby! Watermelon! So the watermelon incident could have been Uncle Dwight’s fault.
I always think of Uncle Dwight’s house when I talk about children who behave badly. He, his wife Geraldine, and their children traveled a lot, so their house was full of souvenirs from all over the world, plus Aunt Geraldine just had a lot of fragile knickknacks, in the way of Southern women of a certain time and age. I was reminded to TOUCH NOTHING every time we went to visit. Even a hands-clasped-behind-my-back perusal of items on a side table could earn me the Death Glare™ from my mother, and we all know you risk great peril if you ignore that look. I’m not sure what I thought would happen to me–I don’t remember any specific punishments promised–and I never wanted to find out.
My mother set the bar high, and yes, as a result, I JUDGE YOU when your children are destructive, uncontrollable little hellions in other people’s homes or out in public. Cultivate the Death Glare™, parents. If you didn’t learn it in your childhood, find a friend with a cat. Cats know how it works.
recently I was on the phone with my Mom at Walmart and there were two kids running around screaming and carrying on and I said “I don’t remember ever acting like this.” and she said “You didn’t, you knew what would happen if you did.” the Death Glare was part of that. Also the fact that my mother had no problem spanking me in public.
I have also seen the death glare given in public at the checkout line …I was all “Kid, you better knock it off, you are about to get it … Please kid, I don’t want to see the reckoning…”
Hey look only 235 more days!
I have given the Death Glare™ in public places. Mind you, I’m not talking about crying, whining children. They aren’t pleasant to be around, but every kid has bad moments, and I usually pity the parent(s) (unless it’s a middle-of-the-night shopping trip, because why aren’t those kids asleep?).
I’m talking about the Destructors or the Wild Crazy Things like your Walmart variety. I promise you, everyone in retail has experienced these kids and knows where the fault lies.
To use Death Glare™ or to use The Force™, that is the question.
It is a good thing most of us can’t access The Force™!
Yes, I am sure this was the precurser to the horrible watermelon incident. It’s a good thing I love watermelon so much or I never would have been able to get over it.
I think I’m going to amend my previous statement. I no longer blame Uncle Dwight. Mother said we always put the blame on her, and I think I should uphold that tradition. Look at that huge slice she’s setting in front of me!
I can’t look at watermelon anymore without thinking of you throwing up all over the bed when you were younger.
My work is done.