The theme from my main go-to-for-info person since surgery is BE PATIENT. Healing takes time, probably longer than I expect.
I explained to Tom and my friendship support team that I think I had to work so hard at mentally preparing myself for surgery (I’ve never had surgery in my life), then the post-op on Tuesday, that a crash was bound to come: fatigue, anxiety, etc. More than a couple of people in my life are on their own challenging health journeys now, all worse than anything I’m experiencing, but like everyone else, I can only attempt to manage the progression, narrative, and outcome of my own life. I need to give myself permission to feel what I feel and deal with it as I can.
Plus I’m always grateful for the good and the miraculous. Today is the due date of one of our nieces; soon we’ll have a new life to celebrate! (ETA to add correction: The due date is JULY 14. We’d been accidentally misinformed.)
I think I did too much yesterday; I put together a good lunch, and I wanted real food cooked at home so I did a full meal at dinner. I was on my feet a lot.
I’ve probably shared the story before of one of my uncles, who was I don’t know how old, much older than I am now, who had a leg amputated. When they took him home from the hospital, he was alone for a bit. When his family members returned, they found him sitting on the floor vacuuming. My mother had a hysterectomy in her early forties, and the day after coming home, she cooked a full Thanksgiving dinner for us all and my brother’s girlfriend who we met for the first time that day (a petite girl who would later marry my brother and eventually give birth to a nine pound, nine ounce baby boy).
That’s the kind of stock I think I have to live up to, and I DON’T. =) So today, I was less ambitious and rested more, and there were lots of good leftovers in the fridge that Tom could use for his meal. I just put together one of my favorite kind of plates.
My simple dinner of half an apple, a few chips, hummus with carrots and celery, and a few slices of salami and pepperoni.
Tom had to run errands on his way home from work tonight and surprised me with my fave snack for later: Target popcorn!
I’m keeping up here, and also keeping up in my day planner, but anything that asks for too much from my eyes doesn’t happen. I so, SO much want to finish this last chapter of Book Six, but no way can I stare at the monitor long enough to write. I miss watching my characters come to life and deliver surprises.
But again: patience.