Picture it…Compound Aid, a musical extravaganza to help us pay off the cost of rat-proofing our home. RATS, I’m talking, not mice. Because I just NEEDED TO SPEND SEVERAL HUNDRED MORE DOLLARS after my car repairs of last week. This is why I hate Christmas. This crap always happens this time of year, and Tom and I always end up saying, Okay, we won’t buy gifts for each other. One day, I’m getting diamonds or some such shit for Christmas. I don’t actually want diamonds for Christmas, and I’m glad I can roll down my car window now, and I truly believe that Fievel and Mickey and Mighty should be somewhere other than my attic, but still…
Anyway, Compound Aid. This is the talent I envision performing:
The band Ratt. Woohoo, big hair!
Former MOUSEketeers Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake, and Keri Russell. (Keri Russell? Who knew?)
American indie rock band Modest Mouse and British band The Field Mice. No, I never heard of either of these bands and I know nothing about their music. But I’ve got a theme going here.
Naturally, the Boomtown Rats. After all, Bob Geldof invented the whole musicians-aid gig.
It’s possible that costs could be underwritten by Rat Town Records.
And of course, headlining would be R.E.M. What? You don’t KNOW that the ‘R’ and the ‘M’ don’t stand for ‘rats’ and ‘mice.’ They could.
Not buying it? Well, if you say “rem” instead of the initials, it sounds like NIMH. Clearly there’s a connection to the Rats of NIMH.
Oh, all right. I just want R.E.M. because I love R.E.M. and Michael Stipe, okay? There are GIANT MUTANT RATS living in my attic! Give me something here…
Sorry to hear about the rodentia. I had the same problem in my Heights house. It was a little scary to hear them scurrying in the walls/attic, but more than creepy when I heard them actually squeaking. Who knew they’d get so annoyed by my beating the wall they where scurrying in with a broom handle while yelling, “It’s my house, goddammit!”
I think, secretly, I wanted them to get so annoyed they’d move and we wouldn’t have to call out the hit squad. Sigh, they didn’t, so we did.
they have really HUGE rat traps now. I saw some when I bought the mouse traps. I hate killing anything, but they breed really fast!
We have not had too many problems since the word got out through the mice from Nimh. The rats must have heard it too because we have had no rats to speak of.
What is Timothy’s cat doing anyway? Put her/him to work. lol
And here I thought I was all alone in my hell of mice.
My exterminator said that when rats start dying after living in a habitat, th other rats realize the habitat is unsafe and move on. They’re such survivors.
Hopefully, the way they’re handling the problem, no rats will die in our attic or walls. But if they do, our exterminator will find and remove the bodies as well as offer a deoderizer that will help.
Freaking rats. Remember how George on Seinfeld said they had a deal with the pigeons? I had a deal with the Rats of Montrose. If they stayed outside, I tried to ignore them. They broke the treaty, and now they must be punished.
oh and I just remembered Tim waking up to the dead rat on the doorstep! Sheesh. That would freak me out. lol
I wonder if we need an exterminator, too. It’s really more to fortify the house. Like underneath it or something…
Good luck in your battle.
ew.
rats & mice just creep me out – i’m sure they’re nice creatures and all, but i say kill them.
hope that exterminator takes care of them.
i like your header pic with the puppies 🙂
Thanks!
When I’m in just the right mood I kind-of dig Modest Mouse…
…Sucks about the rat situation. I told Tom we should have a bake sale. We can make rat-shaped cookies!