Today, Mark G. Harris (whose name I need to change in my cell phone to “That NC Stud”) posted a picture of this action figure:
I know, right? I mean, not only is he layered (hot) but he has fab hair. What I want to know is, WHY CAN’T MATTEL DO GOOD HAIR FOR MAN DOLLS? Let me give you some examples of poor Ken through the years.
Margot and Guinness gave me dolls for Christmas. Yeah, they thought it was ridiculous, too–those things aren’t edible–but they strive to make their people happy.
So here are the dolls they gave me. Beach Glam Ken and his pal, Beach Glam Steven.
Aw, aren’t these BFFs adorable?
Not entirely. What the HELL is up with their hair?
Ken’s is there’s-something-about-mary stiff.
And what did Steven do to piss off his stylist? Two words, Steven: Shea butter.
Stiff Do Ken and Bad Haircut Steven are just new versions of the same sad Mattel story. Some head shots of my other dolls:
C’mon, Mattel, give Ken and Friends a break. When all he has in his 2(x)ists is a bump and Barbie always gets the cool wheels, a man should at least be allowed good hair.
P.S. Gratuitous photo alert. Here’s the 2(x)ist ad that I used whenever I needed inspiration to write Blaine in I’M YOUR MAN:
Poor Ken! Beach Glam Ken looks about 14 there in the top picture. Put a little makeup on the last 2 Kens, and they could be ready for their 80’s drag outfits.
Actually, Beach Glam Ken’s hair looks a little
like that flip style Hermie the Elf used to wear
in “Rudolph”!
You’re right about that hair flip! Too funny.
And that last Steven, too! I swear I have never seen those three at any store. Which Kens are they?
I’m not sure what years they’re from. One of the reasons I was happy to get them out of the attic and photograph them before returning them to storage was so that I could start figuring that out. Eventually, I’ll be able to tell you what years they were released–I suspect Chernobyl might have been involved in at least one of them. 😉
Tom would say don’t give me any ideas. He’s tired of fetching them from the attic.
Poor Tom…
I *love* your Ken and Barbie posts! And you’re right, that’s some serious bad hair! 🙂
I’m glad you love them. You’ll see those Bad Hair Guys again in future posts. =)
I can hardly wait – too much fun!
I think I enjoy the Barbie posts especially because we were too poor for me to have Barbie dolls when I was a kid. I had a cheap imitation, but her legs came off very easily and she just wasn’t the same.
I had that blond crewcut Ken. The hair felt like weird
velvet — until it started to scuff off, leaving gaping
holes all over Ken’s noggin. He ended up looking like
Johnny Depp in that movie where he’s dying of syphillis!
The first doll/action figure/whatever — what is that for?
West Hollywood SWAT Team???
2(x)ist I heart you!
G I Joe had the same hair!
Maaaaark! What is that action figure from?
Resident Evil 4: Biohazard, which is a video game, I think, not a movie.
Prepare for fainting, when you get a load of the price.
I think Leon S. Kennedy is safe from being added to my collection! Holy crap!
I know! Cryin’ out loud…
whoa.
that is some hair (?) alright…
OMG, those last two are a scream!
The one in the bottom left hand corner looks like the killer from The Silence of the Lambs.
“It puts the lotion in the basket.”
I’ve never seen Silence of the Lambs (of course!), but I’ll be wary of Bad Blond Hair Ken from now on.
What great comments! *LOLing*
And top guy is delicious, especially with that badass scowl. Pretty and dangerous – perfect!
I don’t know where Mark finds this stuff, but Action Figure Guy is hot.
Really!
If there isn’t a movie called “West Hollywood SWAT Team”
starring this guy, there ought to be!
Are Beach Glam Ken and Steven’s shorts see-through? Tarts…
He said tarts (heh heh).
I think it’s cool that the doll up top battles evil with a typewriter.
You guys described Blaine perfectly… I think, at least. That’s how his physique looks, in my head. : )
I like looking at that 2(x)ist photo and thinking of two scenes:
In It Had to Be You, Daniel and Blaine on the stairs going up to Blaine’s apartment after their meeting at the Wormhole.
In He’s the One, the scene in the bathroom at Adam’s farmhouse when Adam asks who has better abs, him or Blaine.
Yeah, those bloomers are very farmhouse / longjohns, I think. : )
Oh, yeah, there ARE underwear in that photo. I forgot.
hahaha
OMG! The hair! The jacket! The gloves!
The typewriter??? Huh?
That typewriter: He’s making me think old school is hot.