My first meme of 2011

I actually did this on Facebook, but figured I’d share it here, too. In no particular order, 15(ish) movies that almost made me stop liking movies:

1. A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon. The only good thing about this one was that Tom and I saw it at the Dollar Movie, and the tub o’popcorn was cheap, too.

2. The Godfather, Part III. You realize how thoroughly a sequel’s ruined a franchise for you when you don’t care that a Corleone daughter is gunned down.

3. The Last House on the Left. The original one. It forever killed my desire to score a joint from a stranger on an adventure in the city with my BFF.

4. Big Trouble in Little China. Sorry, Marika, but if I could have those 99 minutes with Tom, Tim, Lisa, and Mark back, anything would be more fun. Except that Jimmy Reardon movie.

5. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. You know, it may not even be Jar Jar Binks. But sometimes late at night, my mind still fumbles with the convoluted queen/decoy thing. Probably because I’ve endured this movie only once.

6. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. I only remember this because someone else mentioned it. Though it did give Lynne and me the chance to start many, many sentences with, “You know, my old man told me, before he left this shitty world…”

7. I only watch movies with dogs if someone assures me the dog doesn’t get it. So any movie with a stealthy dog death makes this list, and I can’t name one because I probably required memory-erasing therapy after seeing it. Wait–didn’t a dog die in that movie with John Travolta as an angel? Quick! My Vicodin!

8. I think Russell Crowe must have killed my dog in a former life, because if he’s in it, I just can’t bear to watch it.

9. Nine Months. I think that’s how long the movie lasted, too. When good actors get talked into doing bad things.

10. Bedazzled. When bad actors get talked into doing worse things.

11. Queen of the Damned. Dreadful.

12. Rhinestone. Why, Dolly, WHY?

13. A Clockwork Orange. Yeah, I know. Whatever.

14. Jabberwocky. Do they take the Internet away from me if I don’t like something with tenuous connections to Monty Python?

15. The War of the Roses. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.

Ha

I did that writing meme so many LJ friends are doing. Using different LJ posts and some excerpts from the two Coventry novels, I’ve apparently written like James Joyce, Dan Brown, Stephen King, J.D. Salinger, Chuck Palahniuk, Mark Twain, and FINALLY, a woman, Margaret Atwood. Which might disappoint her, as I once had a class with her and she was quite stern about my need to differentiate between “voices” in writing.

If you’d like what I’m sure is a highly accurate and scientific analysis of your writing, you’ll find your chance here.

Shuffle Poetry–plus one

I yanked this meme from Cari ’cause hers cracked me up. Emo poets, watch out!

Take the first line of the first twenty songs that play on your shuffled music (wherever your shuffled music originates). The first line of the twenty-first song becomes your title. Here’s my poem–apparently I’m having girl trouble.

I’m Free to Do What I Want Any Old Time
by Becky and her iTunes

Green-eyed girl
Give me one more chance
What good is the dawn
Oh, it’s been such a long, long time
At night it hits me cold

You want to give your love away
Walked out, goodbye
I give her all my love
Girls can wear jeans
It’s quarter to three

All I know is the way that I feel
So you think you’re a Romeo
Cain slew Abel
Moon River, wider than a mile
Trudging slowly over wet sand

Know it sounds funny
She’ll let you in her house
Am I real?
Let me in here
When the night has come

And since I’m being poetic, occasionally (okay, twice, whatever, this is my LJ and I’ll say what I want to) Mark G. Harris assigns poetry writing tasks to his friends. He finds a past blog entry we wrote and asks us to rewrite it–in verse. He last did this on November 2, assigning me this old post of mine from May 2008. November 2…which is…uh….three months ago today and…um…er….GREAT WRITING TAKES TIME, PEOPLE!

So without further ado–and note, Internet, that’s ado, not adieu, but let me not interfere with your massacre of the language so that I can commence my own.

That Day You Got Your Nails Did


Lucy and Marilyn watched from the wall
That day you got your nails did
Madonna was hanging out, too,
But was all into herself
And couldn’t be bothered with you

Each twitch from you became sound
In the nail tech’s giggles
She clipped and filed and buffed
Around your nervous cuticles
Good theater, but you didn’t let me pay

I drove your manicure to Starbucks
To wrap itself around a frappuccino and a Camel
We kept an eye out for handsome men
But got dirty dogs and a rainbow
We’re soaking in it, Hardhat Boy

The Proust Questionnaire

Several years ago, my buddy Shawn over at Everything and Nothing introduced me to the self-interview. The idea is to find interview questions asked of others in the media and apply them to yourself, answering them on your blog.

A few days ago, I was reading the blog of TJB reader and Twitter friend, Daniel T., who linked to Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire: 101 Luminaries Ponder Love, Death, Happiness, and the Meaning of Life. The description of the book reads:

The probing set of questions originated as a 19th-century parlor game popularized by contemporaries of Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that an individual’s answers reveal his true nature.

I’m not intending to answer the questions here and now, and probably not all at once. There are so many, and I’ve found myself giving them much more thought than memes usually provoke. Some of them might show up as the subjects of future LJ posts.

You can go to a link on the Vanity Fair Web site and answer them there, seeing how your answers compare to the “Luminaries,” or apparently even compare your answers to your Facebook friends.

Or if you want to use them to interview yourself, or maybe answer one or two of them on your own blogs or journals, the questions are:

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
2. What is your greatest fear?
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
5. Which living person do you most admire?
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
7. What is your current state of mind?
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
9. On what occasion do you lie?
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
11. Which living person do you most despise?
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
16. When and where were you happiest?
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
21. Where would you most like to live?
22. What is your most treasured possession?
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
24. What is your favorite occupation?
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
26. What do you most value in your friends?
27. Who are your favorite writers?
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
31. What are your favorite names?
32. What is it that you most dislike?
33. What is your greatest regret?
34. How would you like to die?
35. What is your motto?

Personality Disorder Test

Snagged this test from dawni, and just as I suspected: I’m boring.

Disorder Rating
Paranoid Disorder: Low
Schizoid Disorder: Low
Schizotypal Disorder: Low
Antisocial Disorder: Low
Borderline Disorder: Low
Histrionic Disorder: Low
Narcissistic Disorder: Low
Avoidant Disorder: Low
Dependent Disorder: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: Low

Personality Disorder Test – Take It!
Personality Disorders