I actually did this on Facebook, but figured I’d share it here, too. In no particular order, 15(ish) movies that almost made me stop liking movies:
1. A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon. The only good thing about this one was that Tom and I saw it at the Dollar Movie, and the tub o’popcorn was cheap, too.
2. The Godfather, Part III. You realize how thoroughly a sequel’s ruined a franchise for you when you don’t care that a Corleone daughter is gunned down.
3. The Last House on the Left. The original one. It forever killed my desire to score a joint from a stranger on an adventure in the city with my BFF.
4. Big Trouble in Little China. Sorry, Marika, but if I could have those 99 minutes with Tom, Tim, Lisa, and Mark back, anything would be more fun. Except that Jimmy Reardon movie.
5. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. You know, it may not even be Jar Jar Binks. But sometimes late at night, my mind still fumbles with the convoluted queen/decoy thing. Probably because I’ve endured this movie only once.
6. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. I only remember this because someone else mentioned it. Though it did give Lynne and me the chance to start many, many sentences with, “You know, my old man told me, before he left this shitty world…”
7. I only watch movies with dogs if someone assures me the dog doesn’t get it. So any movie with a stealthy dog death makes this list, and I can’t name one because I probably required memory-erasing therapy after seeing it. Wait–didn’t a dog die in that movie with John Travolta as an angel? Quick! My Vicodin!
8. I think Russell Crowe must have killed my dog in a former life, because if he’s in it, I just can’t bear to watch it.
9. Nine Months. I think that’s how long the movie lasted, too. When good actors get talked into doing bad things.
10. Bedazzled. When bad actors get talked into doing worse things.
11. Queen of the Damned. Dreadful.
12. Rhinestone. Why, Dolly, WHY?
13. A Clockwork Orange. Yeah, I know. Whatever.
14. Jabberwocky. Do they take the Internet away from me if I don’t like something with tenuous connections to Monty Python?
15. The War of the Roses. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.