Condi Sighting

Yep, I watched the pope’s funeral from about 3:30 a.m. until sometime after 6 a.m. And there she was. Condi. I also saw W and Laura and Bill Clinton. Do you think they were having a slumber party in Rome without us?

It boggles the mind. W likes to turn in early, so he probably fell asleep first. Bill is nocturnal, so he was putting somebody’s bra in the freezer. Laura was chain smoking. I wonder what Condi did? It didn’t look like anyone had toilet-papered the Vatican.

Oh, Condi!

I think that’s going to be a new sitcom on FOX next year. “Oh, Condi!”

Condi is being awfully remiss about not answering invitations promptly. I wonder if she’s going to all these royal weddings and funerals? I hereby request that important people stop dying or getting married until after the slumber party.

Oh. And don’t be declaring any more wars either.

Mary Tyler Moore and Condi

Condi would be a lot happier if she could take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile. She has a headstart (she just needs her own theme song).

Working with Dick Cheney? It’s like having Mr. Grant in the next office. “Condi?!? I HATE spunk!”

George W. and Laura are Condi’s Not-So-Bright Ted and wife Georgette. Well, if Georgette was a chain smoker.

Colin Powell used to be her sensible coworker Murray. I wonder if Colin is working a cruise ship now?

Any ideas on who in CondiWorld fills the roles of Best Pal Rhoda, Slutty Sue Ann, and Bitter Phyllis?

Two Days Later

Still no response from Condi about the slumber party. I think she has that sour expression because they keep her so busy in Washington. I’ll probably hear from her the next time she has a day off. I’m upping the ante and adding Cheetos™ to the mix.

It was suggested that we could crank call Janet Reno at the slumber party. I say, why not just invite Janet, too? Now there’s a gal who had a tough time in Washington. AND was part of losing two elections to Condi’s husband boss and his brother. A little Cheetos™ dust and maybe doing a slam book together could fix some hurt feelings.

Contemplating Condi

Now I can’t stop thinking about Condi. You know what I think she needs? A good slumber party. So I’m officially inviting Condi to my house for an old-fashioned slumber party. (Note to Condi: You don’t have to bring the Secret Service. There are ALWAYS “phone trucks” on my street, and I know what that’s all about.)

Me, Condi, and a few friends. (Note to Readers: Feel free to invite yourselves.) Queso and chips, plenty of Keebler cookies, popcorn, pink sponge rollers, those little thingies you fit between your toes when you give each other pedicures, a Ouija board to commune with Bob Dole and Newt Gingrich… What; they’re not dead? Whatever.

I believe a slumber party could make Condi smile. It’s just a shame that *69 and Caller I.D. have ruined the world of crank calling. I’ll bet Condi knows a LOT of good numbers.