Sewing

Is anyone else watching Project Runway: Under the Gunn? We’ve seen the first episode but not the second, so we need to catch up. It’s nice to watch a show about fashion without the knowledge that I need to create and sew a design hanging over my head. I was ready for a break.

I have done some sewing, though. All of the dog beds scattered throughout the house were in need of cleaning and plumping, so I went to The Store of My People intending to buy some Fiberfill or Poly-Fil or whatever. However, while there, I found standard bed pillows for the stunningly low price of $2.50 each, and after checking that they were made in the USA and therefore not in developing countries using the forced labor of pre-schoolers, I bought several of them and used them to refurbish the dog beds.

Most of that project I had to do by hand, but I decided to cover a couple of the new pillows with some festive fleece to put in Margot’s and Guinness’s crates for extra cushioning. Like this one.

Except what should have taken ten minutes to whip up took forever because my sewing machine is kicking my ass for some reason. I’m taking that thing out to the suburbs and having sewing machine class with Lynne some weekend so she can tell me what I’m doing wrong. The second pillow is on hold until either that happens or I persuade myself that I have the patience to try again.

I do need to figure it out, however, since I’m sure I’ll be willing to take on a future season of “Project Runway” challenges thanks to these two Model Muses who were part of my Christmas from Tim.

Bewitching


I received that beat-up clock when it was new back in the mid 1990s on a whirlwind trip that Lynne and I took to New Orleans. It was my first real visit to the city other than driving around and exploring it once late at night. The clock was part of a swag bag we received from VH-1, and it reminds me of my love/hate relationship with Nickelodeon since that’s the channel that addicted me to “Full House” reruns.

I wonder if other people are like me and have false memories of what they saw on TV as children. Many times I’ve said to people, “Oh, yeah, I watched that as a kid!” only to find out I was discussing a show that had aired and then ended years before I was even born. Plus my parents didn’t actually let us watch a lot of TV when we were kids except what we watched with them. So in truth, a lot of the shows I thought I watched when I was a wee lass were actually shows I saw as a teen when they went into syndication and I spent afternoons with friends whose parents either let them watch more TV than mine did or who had two parents who worked outside the home and didn’t know we were saturating our brains with three decades of sitcoms and cop shows. Or I watched them in the TV room at the student center when I was in college and graduate school in lieu of studying. My financial aid hard at work.

Usually when Tim’s dogs are in the apartment without him, he’ll leave the TV on for them. Today when I went over to let them out for recess, there was a show on his TV with lots of gunplay, so I changed the channel. It so happened that I landed on “The Waltons,” good wholesome viewing for three impressionable young dogs, I thought. When Tim arrived home, they were watching “The Brady Bunch.” I expect Penny will soon be looking at her big sister and whining, “Pixie, Pixie, Pixie!”

One of my standard questions of TV watchers of a certain age is, “Were you a fan of Samantha or Jeannie?” I always wanted to be a witch more than a genie, even if it meant being stuck with Darren. Because there was also Endora, Dr. Bombay, Serena, Gladys Kravitz (you can never say just her first name), and the fantastic Aunt Clara and Uncle Arthur.

The show “Bewitched” is used to good effect by the young narrator of Rob Williams’s story “Bothered, Bewildered.”

I was eleven when I told my ten-year-old neighbor that I was a witch. Or a warlock, I should say, since guys can’t be witches. Chalk it up to too many reruns of “Bewitched” on television. I told Jimmy I was friends with Samantha, Endora and Doctor Bombay.

“They’re just a TV show,” he said, squinting with skepticism, so that the tiny wrinkles around his eyes, not unusual for a California kid, deepened.

“Not those people,” I replied. “Those are actors, acting out the real witches’ lives. I’m talking about the real Samantha, the real Endora, the real Doctor Bombay.”

Jimmy had the whitest-blond hair of any kid I’d ever seen. In summer it turned green from all the chlorine in his family’s pool, where we would swim unsupervised for hours, sometimes even days. I told him that the green hair meant he had the potential to be a warlock, too. I would be like his Jedi Master, teaching him his craft.

How I proved to Jimmy that I was a warlock (the first time):

We were one of the first families on our block to get a Clapper—a device that turns a lamp on and off when you clap. It was plugged in behind the end table in our living room next to the couch my grandmother called the davenport. I showed the lamp trick to Jimmy. Clapped it on and off. His eyes grew wide, his mouth open, lips shiny with spit. I clapped it on and off again. Told him I would transfer my power to him so he could do it. He ate it up—clapping hesitantly at first. I was surprised it went on. Then he clapped harder. Clapped that lamp on and off, off and on, for twenty minutes. I thought his hands would fall off. We played Atari, and every couple of minutes he would clap the lamp on or off and smile that stupid smile. When he went to take a pee, I turned off the Clapper so it became just a regular lamp. Jimmy came back and tried to clap it on again. It didn’t turn on. He clapped again harder. He clapped close to the lamp, right above the lamp, below it; still nothing.

“Don’t abuse the power,” I said.

You can read the other ways Jimmy was bewitched in Foolish Hearts: New Gay Fiction, available now from booksellers everywhere in trade paper and ebook format.

Excerpt reprinted with permission from Cleis Press. All rights reserved.

Runway Monday All Stars: Are U.N. or Are You Out?

On the season finale of Lifetime’s Project Runway All Stars, the last three designers were taken to the United Nations headquarters, where they met with delegates from their countries of origin. These countries were to inspire their final collections. In addition, they were asked to add a seventh look that would incorporate a scarf from a wall of scarves representing countries from around the world.

I didn’t get to go to the U.N. or meet a delegate from my country of origin. Does Alabama count? Actually, I decided to take my pick from my English, Scottish, and Irish heritage. I checked out some current Irish fashion designers. When I learned that their runways were filled this year with bold fabrics, including florals paired with clashing prints, animal inspired prints, lace, and the color pink, I knew I’d found my people.

Here’s how that turned out for Catrine DeMew.

And for Venus McFlytrap.

And for Howleen Wolf.

And for GiGi Grant.

And for Catty Noir.

And for Draculaura, whose look incorporates the scarf.

And for Rochelle Goyle.

Thanks for sticking with me throughout this season. The Monsters say goodbye until next time!

From Mattel: shoes and purses, Howleen’s beanie, Venus’s stockings, Rochelle’s socks, and Draculaura’s tights. Scarf used for Draculaura’s tank top from a Harumika kit. Catrine DeMew’s and Rochelle Goyle’s belts by Becks. Venus McFlytrap doll gift of Lynne. Catty Noir doll gift of Marika.

Previous looks from this season:

Week 9: Fashion Cents
Week 8: #Nina’s Trending
Week 7: As Sewn On TV
Week 6: Marge Madness
Week 5: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Week 4: Get Back to Class!
Week 3: There Are No Bad Cocktails, Just Bad Designers
Week 2: Bitten by the Fashion Bug
Week 1: You Got Punked

Runway Monday All Stars: Fashion Cents

On the most recent episode of Lifetime’s Project Runway All Stars, the last four designers were asked to create a look for Michelle Smith’s New York-based fashion label Milly. The looks were to use Michelle’s custom fabrics and retail for $400.

I’m sure it’s no surprise that no one sent me any Milly fabrics to create my look. However, there’s a fabric I’ve had my eye on for a while, a playful print in keeping with some of the brightly colored dresses I’ve seen in other Milly collections. I chose Skelita Calaveras to walk the runway in my look; if anyone can understand the pressure for a model to stay thin, it’s Skelita. I’ll let the design speak for itself.

Hope you’ve enjoyed the look. Skelita is going to eat a sandwich. See the rest of you next time on the runway!

Shoes and bracelet by Mattel.

Previous looks from this season:

Week 8: #Nina’s Trending
Week 7: As Sewn On TV
Week 6: Marge Madness
Week 5: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Week 4: Get Back to Class!
Week 3: There Are No Bad Cocktails, Just Bad Designers
Week 2: Bitten by the Fashion Bug
Week 1: You Got Punked

Runway Monday All Stars: #Nina’s Trending

On the most recent episode of Lifetime’s Project Runway All Stars, the remaining contestants were asked to create looks for popular style vloggers that incorporated Pantone’s 2014 Color of the Year: Radiant Orchid. In addition, their designs needed to include an element that the designers believed would be a fashion trend in 2014.

One thing I don’t need hanging around my workroom in the week before Christmas is a vlogger. Fortunately, I have an inspiring model in Twyla, because if anyone understands the importance of purple, she does. As for my fashion trend, I know that 2014 is the year of prints, and I say it’s the year of geometric prints. (Apparently, the designers at Alexander McQueen agree with me. Score!)

My look begins with a floor-length coat made of a fabric that not only illustrates my design trend but uses Radiant Orchid as one of the colors.

Beneath the coat, I went full-on Radiant Orchid with a shimmering mermaid gown.

Twyla shows off Mattel’s vibrant heels.

Twyla is ready to begin her purple reign! Hope you’ve enjoyed the look. See you next time on the runway!

Previous looks from this season:

Week 7: As Sewn On TV
Week 6: Marge Madness
Week 5: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Week 4: Get Back to Class!
Week 3: There Are No Bad Cocktails, Just Bad Designers
Week 2: Bitten by the Fashion Bug
Week 1: You Got Punked

Runway Monday All Stars: As Sewn on TV

On the most recent episode of Lifetime’s Project Runway All Stars, the remaining designers were flown by helicopter to QVC’s headquarters in Pennsylvania, where they were challenged to design a red carpet gown. The winning design would be worn at an Oscar gala in Los Angeles, and the model should be able to comfortably stand, sit, and move in the dress.

Once I decided to design in a lemony yellow color palette, I chose Robecca Steam as my model. A copper simulacrum made of spare parts by her mad scientist father, Robecca has already proved she can look fantastic no matter what. I thought she deserved something soft and flowy to counteract the gears, bolts, and rivets she’s made of.

I began with a yellow silk bodice and a sash of cocoa ribbon that ties into a bow at the back:

Then I added the delicate skirt of chiffon print.

Robecca would look fantastic on any red carpet, and the gown is completely comfortable for standing, sitting, and walking.


I hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s design. See you next time on the runway!


Thanks to Lindsey and Rhonda for the ribbon.

Previous looks from this season:

Week 6: Marge Madness
Week 5: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Week 4: Get Back to Class!
Week 3: There Are No Bad Cocktails, Just Bad Designers
Week 2: Bitten by the Fashion Bug
Week 1: You Got Punked