Button Sunday

This is why it takes me so long. Some writers power through to get it all down and then go back and do their edits. Occasionally I want to try it that way, but it never works for me.

Maybe I’m too trained as an editor and proofreader. I edit, read, re-edit, and re-read constantly as I go. Maybe it’s also my experience as a teacher trained to correct errors and suggest how to polish writing.

I learned the hard way this is why beta readers don’t work for me. By the time I send pages, I’ve already started altering them.

ETA: Most recent writing playlist.


Bonnie Raitt, Bonnie Raitt


Red Hot Chili Peppers: Blood Sugar Sex Magik; One Hot Minute

Los Angeles is the major city featured in the Neverending Saga. It’s the home of my soul even if it’s never been a physical home to me. Tom and I have explored there. Jim has been my tour guide there. From Blood Sugar Sex Magik, “City of Angels.” I’ve been able to use so much of L.A. in the Neverending Saga.

somewhere you’ll feel free


Such terrible news to get today, and I was fortunate to hear it from friends who knew you as I did, having also experienced your humor, your heart, your generosity. The last year and a half, including your eleven months under medical care, were brutal on you. Still, you looked forward to a better life in the aptly named “Fairhope” with the old friend who invited you to move there. You told me your mother said she might move there, too, then you wanted to travel to England and Germany with her and maybe take a Rhine River cruise together. To know that your mother died nine days before you makes me imagine just the two of you again, as it was for much of your life, facing a future together against all odds. I hope you’re both at peace.

I regret that I’ll never get to read that novel you’ve been writing. You had such a gift of voice, pacing, and making everything turn out okay for the women you wrote. You’d have given Summer a happy conclusion, just as you once did for Emily–and you hoped to write a second Emily book one day, too.

I will imagine a happier-forever-after for you, where you save a place on that boat on the Rhine for your forever dog Dash to sit between you and your mother, with Kissing Michael on your other side. You belong with your love on your arm.

Bon voyage, Marika.

the attack on reading

Now that I’m back, I’d wanted to post something yesterday about banned books. Last week was Banned Books Week. Though none of my published books have been banned to my knowledge, I’m sure at least some of them would go on a list of challenged books if any of the groups determined to police and suppress books were aware of them. That’s because all of them, whether written as Timothy James Beck or Cochrane/Lambert novels with my writing partners, or my own two contemporary romances, present a diverse set of characters, among them gay, lesbian, and transgendered folk, as well as characters of different races as part of the stories.

I follow an account on Instagram created by a musician who features banned and challenged children’s books. He might show some of their pages (if picture books), read brief excerpts, and describe what the books are about. Consistently, teachers respond to share how some of those books have been the ones their students most enjoyed because they learned new things or saw themselves or their situations represented. Other commenters ask why these interesting, funny, informative, or historically accurate stories are being challenged, and the answer is invariably the same: They feature characters who are different from what’s regarded as “mainstream,” whether because they are Black, Indigenous, reflect a non-white or first generation home or situation (for example, parents or grandparents are Asian or Hispanic), or whose lives are perceived as somehow “less than,” perhaps because of a one-parent home, or two of the parents are same sex (which means not only, for example, a gay couple, but even a dad and a stepdad, or mom and a step-mom). They may also feature stories set in periods of history or accurately including events that make people uncomfortable (e.g., school desegregation, World War II internment camps for Japanese Americans).

Groups of people who intend to limit what other people can read have placed themselves on school boards and in community groups, and are determined to get these books off the shelves of schools and public libraries. I agree with those who say, “You have every right to decide what YOUR CHILD can read, but absolutely NO RIGHT to decide that for the rest of us, whether as readers or parents and grandparents of readers. These groups’ methods are fear-mongering and perpetuating outright falsehoods on social media and in town hall meetings about children being forced to read age-inappropriate books. Of course, they don’t simply target children’s books, they also go after young adult books and books read by adults from college level and well beyond.

The books on my shelves and in my eBook shelves are full of titles I’ve read throughout my life deemed inappropriate and even dangerous. I’m grateful every day for the teachers who introduced me to books, librarians who found books for me, booksellers who recommended books, a kind minister who encouraged me to read by buying me children’s classics, and for my parents whose shelves were full of all kinds of books and who, rather than censoring my reading, turned my choices into opportunities for us to talk about books.

Historically… well…

Button Sunday


I’ve been thinking a lot about bridges lately because of something I wrote. Many titles containing bridges drifted through my musings…

Songs instantly familiar to me included “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and “59th Street Bridge Song,” both by Simon and Garfunkel, “Love Can Build A Bridge,” The Judds, “Under The Bridge,” Red Hot Chili Peppers, “The Bridge,” Elton John, and “Seven Bridges Road,” The Eagles. I did a Google search, and found so many more! (And lots of songs that feature bridges, too, like “Ode to Billie Joe”.)

A few movie/book titles that I’ve seen or read also came to mind: The Bridge On the River Kwai, The Bridges of Madison County, Bridge to Terebithia, Waterloo Bridge, A Bridge Too Far.

Bridges can be treacherous, beautiful, meaningful, sad, hopeful. I guess it’s all in one’s perspective, so I found a few buttons online with varying takes on bridges. I eliminated any buttons about the game of Bridge, about which I have no concept because I’ve never played or watched anyone else play.

Now that I’ve brought up the subject, it’s a safe bet you’ll start seeing bridges or hearing about them, too. The bridges were always in front of you or inside your brain, of course. This post is just helping you remember or notice. Maybe bridges are like cows, and we see one every day…

Mood: Monday

Name that mood!

Who Are You?
oil on wood panel, date unknown
© Cindy Ruskin, artist, South Africa, USA

More from me:

Back on June 7, I posted this photo with the intention of coming back to both those books when I felt less scattered and could create a post about them. Later in June, in a Mood: Monday post, I shared a painting of a pinecone and talked at length about Maggie Smith’s memoir. But I’m not sure I ever explained why I had all the Post-it Flags in the book of Emily Dickinson’s poetry.

Acts of Light is a beautiful book filled with paintings and drawings by Nancy Ekholm Burkert to accompany some of the eighty Dickinson poems within it. It’s possible my friends Christine and John gave me this book as a balm for being the first ones to tell me that much of Dickinson’s poetry can be sung to the tune of “Yellow Rose of Texas.” I whimpered to them that from that moment on, I could only sing, “I heard a fly buzz when I died/ the stillness in the room” as if it were “There’s a yellow rose in Texas, that I am gonna see.” I love yellow roses and have nothing against this wonderful old Texas standard, but it’s a little upbeat for the poem. =)

Disregarding all that, I decided that at some point, I’m going to print the pen and ink drawings and color them, and those are the pages I’ve marked. I’m not sure I can ever share them online because of copyright issues, so they’ll be only for my own enjoyment. But after finishing Apple TV’s “Dickinson,” I began to wonder about art that might have been inspired by her poetry, and that’s why I found and chose the first painting on this post.


I have a few books with Dickinson’s best-known, studied, or taught poems, but I’m delighted to have received this collection (derived from a three-volume set shown in the TV show) that contains 1,775 poems and fragments. I finally have one source I can keep at hand to read favorites as well as poems I’ve never seen before. I’m sure like many writers and artists before me, I’ll get lots of inspiration.

happiness with a conclusion

I was able to see the last season of “Suits” on Peacock (it’s very helpful to have a husband who, unlike me, is an avid television viewer and subscribes to a handful of streaming services), and I’ll miss those characters who’ve kept company with me. It was a fast-paced show with a lot of clever banter.

Since I was finished with “Suits,” I went back to complete the third and final season of “Dickinson.”

Poetry is such a love of mine, and Emily Dickinson ranks high among my favorite poets. This show was unlike anything I expected it to be, the 1860s setting juxtaposed with contemporary themes and cultural references. Emily Dickinson’s poetry is woven into storylines that are by turns fun, sad, silly, nightmarish, and often replete with wisdom. I imagine any writer, whether a poet or not, would enjoy this retelling of her story.

I was always delighted when the character Death, played by Wiz Khalifa, showed up, and this season didn’t disappoint. I grabbed some shots of Death and Emily (played by Hailee Steinfeld) in her garden.

There’s a moment during the last episode, when Emily, who’s grappled with what it means to be a writer throughout the three seasons, is alone in her room. She speaks aloud.

You know what. Even if I can’t change the world, I’m still gonna write. And even if no one ever cares, even if it makes absolutely no difference that there was a person named Emily Dickinson, who sat in this little room day after day and wrote things down just because she felt them.

It’s a beautiful place for a creative person to find herself.

All photos © APPLE TV+

ETA: Almost forgot, happy full moon, blue moon, and super moon all in one!

Watermelon sugar


Today is National Watermelon Day! Lindsey has grown some sprouts from seeds and given a couple to Debby, the plant person of Houndstooth Hall.

Today, I am the RELAX person at Houndstooth Hall, so a bit of watermelon and some cherries fit right in with my plan: drink water and start training my eyes to read with the new bifocals while delving into this 2016 biography of Randy Newman that I’ve had on the shelf since February of ’22.

It’s like my third rendezvous with watermelon this week. This one on Sunday:

And this brunch on either Monday or Tuesday of watermelon, veggies with ranch dip, hummus with pita chips, and walnuts.

I wonder if I can read and listen to Harry Styles at the same time.