Questions for which I have no answers

1. Why does a HUGE roast cost half the price of three small boneless, skinless chicken breasts? Is it the beef people’s revenge for those clever cows?

2. Why am I still not a vegetarian?

3. Is the current flea infestation at my house the fault of the Suicidal Cat Next Door and its sibling, Cat With No Name?

4. Where did the cookies go?

5. Will I ever get this book proposal to my editor?


Condi Sighting

Yep, I watched the pope’s funeral from about 3:30 a.m. until sometime after 6 a.m. And there she was. Condi. I also saw W and Laura and Bill Clinton. Do you think they were having a slumber party in Rome without us?

It boggles the mind. W likes to turn in early, so he probably fell asleep first. Bill is nocturnal, so he was putting somebody’s bra in the freezer. Laura was chain smoking. I wonder what Condi did? It didn’t look like anyone had toilet-papered the Vatican.


Oh, Condi!

I think that’s going to be a new sitcom on FOX next year. “Oh, Condi!”

Condi is being awfully remiss about not answering invitations promptly. I wonder if she’s going to all these royal weddings and funerals? I hereby request that important people stop dying or getting married until after the slumber party.

Oh. And don’t be declaring any more wars either.


Murder! Mayhem!

It’s the theme of the week. My first visit to Houston’s Murder By The Book was for a Q&A/booksigning for two mystery authors Harley Jane Kozak and Randy Wayne White. Both were wonderfully funny speakers (shockingly, many writers are not), and I’m looking forward to reading their books, DATING IS MURDER and DEAD OF NIGHT. Some of you might recognize Harley Jane from the movies Parenthood and Arachnophobia as well as a variety of soap roles.

with photos


Mary Tyler Moore and Condi

Condi would be a lot happier if she could take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile. She has a headstart (she just needs her own theme song).

Working with Dick Cheney? It’s like having Mr. Grant in the next office. “Condi?!? I HATE spunk!”

George W. and Laura are Condi’s Not-So-Bright Ted and wife Georgette. Well, if Georgette was a chain smoker.

Colin Powell used to be her sensible coworker Murray. I wonder if Colin is working a cruise ship now?

Any ideas on who in CondiWorld fills the roles of Best Pal Rhoda, Slutty Sue Ann, and Bitter Phyllis?