Hump Day Happy

How do you talk to a giraffe with one ear?


You’re talking to a toy? That’s just crazy.

Two hundred-plus dolls in the attic agree with me.

However, to humor you, if you give me a page number between 1 and 611, and another number between 1 and 25, we’ll pretend it’s the giraffe looking up something in this book to make you happy. Because as Emily Dickinson wrote, The Possible’s slow fuse is lit by the Imagination.

Whatever happened to Fay Wray?

Fay Wray died in 2004, a little more than a month before her ninety-seventh birthday. She was such a memorable and beloved Ann Darrow in 1933’s King Kong–the first actress to earn the label “scream queen”–that two days after she died, the lights of the Empire State Building were turned off for fifteen minutes in her honor.

When Kong came back to life in 1976, he dumped Ann for another beauty named Dwan.

The big ape nearly ended Jessica Lange’s career before it began, but thanks to The Postman Always Rings Twice and Frances in 1981 and 1982, it was revived. So was Kong, who’d forgotten all about Dwan and traveled back in time for Naomi Watts’s version of Ann Darrow in Peter Jackson’s 2005 remake.

My own particular favorite Ann Darrow is the one on the desk in front of me. That face, that beautiful face.


Mattel, 2002

LJ Runway Monday: Hey, That’s My Fabric (PR 7:10)

On the most recent episode of Lifetime’s Project Runway, the designers were given the opportunity to create their own fabrics. Each designer was presented with an HP All-in-One Desktop PC to use to create a textile design, then their designs were digitally printed on fabric overnight. I was dazzled by some of their creations and found myself at odds with the judges’ evaluation of who had the winning and losing designs. I believe my views were more in line with Tim Gunn’s and am starting to wonder if Nina and Michael aren’t being deliberately difficult for some nefarious reasons of their own. Stay tuned, huh?

Unfortunately, I don’t have an HP All-in-One Desktop PC at my disposal, nor do I have a budget for getting fabric digitally printed. What I do have is fabric, brushes, and lots of paints. I WISH I’d remembered to take a photo of my fabrics after I painted them and before I cut them to my patterns, but I overlooked that step. Here are the scraps, however, if that helps you visualize an early phase of my process.

As always, you can see my paintings on the One Word Art and True Colors pages.

I know it will shock you to learn that Summer was once again unavailable for this challenge. Her agent mumbled something about shooting a Volvo commercial and having a cold one, whatever that might mean.

But the world is full of gorgeous models; click here to see a new one.

Hump Day Happy


Moo Cards make me happy. These small-sized business cards reproduce fragments of my paintings on one side and contact/web site information on the other side. Moo did such a good job that I plan on another order featuring my novels. Check out their web site linked above. (No, I’m not getting anything for this endorsement.)

Meanwhile, if you give me a page number between 1 and 611, and another number between 1 and 25, I’ll be glad to find something in this book for you that’s almost as good as Moo Cards.

Oh, wait. Did somebody say “Moo?” Hi, Rhonda!

A Tale of Appliances

Recently I flung myself back into debt like a good American when I bought a new washing machine for The Compound and a refrigerator for Tim’s apartment. I can’t really complain about these big-ticket purchases because over several decades, I received several new appliances as gifts from family members, and those I’ve had to replace put in many years of good and faithful service before they died.

Sometimes I’m questioned about why I don’t have appliances with all the bells and whistles (I see those things as more stuff that can break and honestly, I just want the basics), or why I don’t have a dishwasher (I never met a dishwasher I liked in my years of renting; I don’t have room for one; and unless I’m really tired, I enjoy washing dishes, and anyway, Tim and Tom–and often our guests–are as likely to wash dishes as I am) or a garbage disposal (not enough room under my sink and not a necessity).

However, this go-round of unexpected appliance buying was annoying because I really, really needed a new computer. Even though computers are completely affordable, I’m tired of doing battle with the firewalls and virus protections that constantly need updating for Windows systems. I have two laptops with Windows if I need to use my existing software, so I’d finally convinced myself to splurge on the iMac I really wanted.

Then the appliance crisis happened. I deliberated about this for a bit, then called to mind the old truism about having children. If you wait until you can afford them, you’ll be childless. Rather than be Mac-less, I threw caution to the wind and after picking out a ‘fridge and a washer, I brought home my new 20.5-pound baby and we’ve been getting along famously.

And then…the microwave died.

Let me back up in time to those days when my first husband and I graduated from college, moved into our tiny house, and were gifted with a brand new washer, dryer, stove, and refrigerator from my parents, his mother, and his two grandmothers. Then one night his stepfather said we ought to have one of those newfangled microwaves. Though I really had no use for a microwave, being a very traditional kind of cook, and saw it mainly as something that would take up space in an already too-small kitchen, in came the microwave.

Every time we turned that thing on, we blew a fuse in our old house. So then came the electrician. Before I could figure out any real use for the stupid thing, scandal rocked our small town. Apparently there was a big employee-theft ring at the local manufacturer of appliances–mainly those newfangled microwaves. Sheriffs were getting tips, knocking on doors, confiscating microwaves, and arresting people. Microwaves were being dumped in ravines, ditches, and creeks before they could become evidence. I called my father-in-law and said, “That microwave wasn’t by chance a little gift to you from an employee of [name redacted], was it? DID YOU GIVE ME A HOT MICROWAVE?”

The microwave was removed from my house in the dead of night amidst much jollity on the part of family members at my paranoia and righteous indignation. I maintained a grudge against microwaves from then on and wouldn’t have one in my house following my divorce and even after Tom and I got married, by which time microwaves were standard in most kitchens.

Then my mother lived with us for a while, and when she moved, she left her microwave behind. Over time, I offered it a somewhat grudging acceptance. It was good for a quick bag of popcorn and to melt butter for my baking. When Tim moved here, he saw it and said, “Where’d your mother GET that thing? From Dolly Madison?” From then on, I thought of it as the First Microwave and liked to imagine a conversation between our country’s fourth First Lady and my mother.

Dolly Madison: Dorothy, the British are coming, and I’ve only got room in my wagon for the White House silver and George Washington’s portrait. Why don’t you take this nice microwave?

Mother: Won’t you need it here in the White House after the War of 1812 ends?

Dolly Madison: Actually, we haven’t been able to use it ever since Ben died and could no longer stand on the White House roof with a kite and a key.

Mother: But most of us won’t have electricity until the 1930s. What will I do with it until then?

Dolly Madison: It makes a handy place to store your bread and BBQ-Fritos.

That dumb microwave outlived my mother, but now it’s gone. I’m not in a hurry to replace it; probably the saddest commentary on how little we use it came when Tom said, “Just make sure you replace it with one big enough for the coffeemaker and toaster to sit on top.”

RIP, microwave of Dolly Madison and Dorothy Cochrane.

LJ Runway Monday: Takin’ It to the Street (PR 7:9)


On the most recent episode of Lifetime’s Project Runway, the designers were put into teams of two to visit distinct areas of Manhattan to get inspiration for two designs: a look for day and a look for night. The areas they could select from were Chinatown, East Village, Upper East Side, and Harlem.

Rather than follow them through Manhattan, I decided to pick from one of the areas I’ve been in that weren’t included in PR‘s selections. There are several, but settle back and I’ll tell you a story.

My first visit to Manhattan was in February of 1998. The weather was unseasonably mild–lucky me!–and during my first day and night in the city, I was accompanied by my friend James, who used to live in NYC. That made him a great tour guide and person to teach me how to do those things I’d never done before–like hail a cab, figure out the subway, who and how much to tip, etc. Timmy and Tim were both still living in the city, and between the three of them and Tim’s then-boyfriend, I enjoyed exploring Hell’s Kitchen, SoHo, Washington Square Park, Central Park, Columbus Circle, Fifth and Madison Avenues, Chelsea, the Lincoln Center, Times Square, Herald Square, Union Square, Macy’s, the Empire State Building, and all kinds of shops, restaurants, and galleries.

It was AMAZING, better than I’d ever anticipated. And it was exhausting! On the next-to-last day of my visit, I was on my own for the full day. Tim and Mr. Man had gone out of town, James was with his sister, and Timmy planned to come to my hotel that evening so we could go to dinner.

I woke up that morning and realized that I’d lost the camera that had most of my photos on it. After moping about that for a while, I was determined to take my other camera out and create my own adventure. When I’d been on top of the Empire State Building late one night with Tim and Mr. Man, they’d turned me in a circle and pointed out recognizable landmarks in each area of the city. Of course, there was nothing like looking downtown and seeing those majestic Twin Towers, and the little light in the harbor that was the Statue of Liberty. Since I hadn’t seen Lower Manhattan by daylight, and I had a huge crush on Battery Park thanks to the movies (including Desperately Seeking Susan), that’s where I decided to go.

I had to negotiate the subway all by myself, and I screwed up. But I also corrected my mistake, which gave me confidence. When I was standing in the sunlight again, there were so many things to look at that…I forgot to take more than a few photos. My senses were drunk on: the ferries on the river, the birds on the posts, Liberty in the distance (could NOT stop thinking of young Vito in Godfather II), the park, the towering skyscrapers of the Financial District, the grandness of the World Trade Center, the hotdog vendors, the old men playing checkers, the Rollerbladers and skateboarders, the families with children, the couples sitting close on benches, THOSE benches, that I’d seen so many times in movies. The people truly lived up to the concept of NYC as a melting pot–they were diverse in race, gender, age, language, attire, income–I stayed there for hours watching them, eating one of those hotdogs, and writing down my thoughts and impressions (some of which would later become poems).

Twelve years later, I still remember that as one of the best days of my life–and I’ve had way more good days than bad, so that’s a tribute to the architecture, people, beauty, and vibe of New York. To capture that in fashion, I wanted to share a few photos–not mine–that helped inspire this week’s designs.


Sidewalk drawing in Battery Park © Kimber.


Flowers in Battery Park © lifeandyarn.


Night view of the Financial District © travistips.

When I envisioned my daytime look, I thought of a young woman grabbing her sketchbook on a spring morning and going to Battery Park. A light drizzle or mist off the Hudson wouldn’t daunt her. She’d just put on rainboots and other proper attire, load up her backpack with her art supplies and a bottle of water, and be out the door. I thought Summer was the ideal model for this daytime look. However, security photos show her being blindfolded and dollnapped in the dead of night by mysterious, unnamed ninjas with intact ankle ligaments.

Please click here to see who’s modeling the look instead.