Tonight, Runway Monday has put together a runway show at an undisclosed location to feature this season’s final collection by Becks. You’ve been checking out her looks for the past few months. Now she’s accepted the final season-six challenge of Lifetime’s Project Runway to create thirteen looks in a cohesive collection.
I’m your pre-show host, Heidi Gunn. It looks like we’ll have a full house tonight.
Heidi Gunn: Everyone wants to see what Becks will come up with, including celebrities. Look, it’s MC Hammer and Miley Cyrus. Are you two collaborating on something?
MC Hammer: You never know, Heidi.
Miley Cyrus: It’s Hannah time!
Heidi Gunn: And here’s Mexican actress Maite Perroni. Are you excited to see tonight’s collection?
Maite Perroni: I can’t wait. I was able to interview Becks’s model muse Summer on the red carpet at the Academy Awards. I think security is even tighter here tonight. I was a little surprised to see soldiers guarding this undisclosed location.
Heidi Gunn: Soldiers? Oh, I know who you’re talking about. They’re actually protesters.
Maite Perroni: Really? Troops Against Trapping?
Heidi Gunn: No, I don’t think they’re anti fur.
Heidi Gunn: I think this is one of those issues that Becks supports, and I agree. Don’t ask, don’t tell should be left to plastic surgery, dress sizes, and…. Oh, look! It’s Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen. You two are so tiny!
Ashley Olsen: Be sure and tell us we look like troll dolls, too.
Mary-Kate Olsen: Right. We love that.
Dolly Parton: Don’t let those little girls badger you, Heidi Gunn. We fuller-figured women need to stick together.
Heidi Gunn: Dolly, I didn’t realize that you’re a Becks fan.
Dolly Parton: I’m not all that familiar with her designs, but my good friend Natasha Deere suggested I come tonight. I guess Natasha knew Becks when she was just Beck.
Heidi Gunn: Have a great night, Dolly. Wow, now there’s a threesome I didn’t expect to see together.
Heidi Gunn: It’s like a 90210 reunion! Luke Perry, Tori Spelling, Jason Priestley. Jason, are you related to Miranda Priestly? She was a Runway Monday judge last season.
Jason Priestley: I don’t think so, Heidi. We aren’t spelled the same.
Heidi Gunn: Speaking of spells, I wonder what Shannen Doherty’s up to these days.
Tori Spelling: Eep! She isn’t here, is she?
Luke Perry: In case you’re wondering, I’m not related to Katy Perry. Although I have kissed a girl. And I liked it.
Tori Spelling [wiggling fingers toward the camera]: Hi, Liam and Stella. It’s bedtime!
Heidi Gunn: Welcome British singer Billie Myers. Billie, you have a lot more hair than you seem to in your photos.
Billie Myers: Extensions, Heidi. I was nearby shooting a video when my friend Johnnie Cakes suggested we come see Becks’s collection. She’s a close friend of his.
Heidi Gunn: I’m sure she’ll be glad to know you’re here. Maybe I can find her backstage and let her know. But first, here’s New Kid on the Block Joe. You never age!
NKOTB Joe: Thanks, Heidi. You’re looking good, too.
Heidi Gunn: Just let me slip back here–
Tim Gunn: Not another step, Heidi Gunn. NO ONE is allowed back stage tonight.
Heidi Gunn: You seem a little stressed, Tim. Is it because everything is chaotic only minutes before the runway show is scheduled to begin?
Tim Gunn: No. It’s because Michael Kors sat on my glasses and broke them. I’ve had to dig out this old pair, and I look like Charles Nelson Reilly.
Heidi Gunn: Over there! It’s Rosie O’Donnell with a crowd of people. Rosie, who are your friends?
Rosie O’Donnell: Jeremy Caprellian, who used to star in the sitcom Man of the House. Blythe Mayfield, an up-and-coming artist. Entrepreneur Adam Wilson. I know you recognize super model and actress Sheila Meyers. Cosmetics advertising mogul Blaine Dunhill, and Daniel Stephenson, who you might remember as Angus Remington on the soap Secret Splendor.
Heidi Gunn: I do remember–look! Over there! Is that–
Rosie O’Donnell: In the red coat?
Heidi Gunn: Yes. Is that…Vogue’s Anna Wintour?
Rosie O’Donnell: I don’t think so, Heidi. She’s carrying a purse and wearing a white Hermes scarf. That means it can only be–
Heidi Gunn: Right. Miranda Priestly of Runway magazine. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize her after working with her last season.
Rosie O’Donnell: Wow, she really clashes with Michael Kors. Quick. Look over there.
Heidi Gunn [gasps]: That’s her, all right.
Rosie O’Donnell [reverently]: Anna Wintour. Don’t look now, but….
Heidi Gunn: Uh-oh.
Rosie O’Donnell [whispers]: They don’t get along, you know.
Heidi Gunn: I’m not sure she gets along any better with Nina Garcia, fashion director of Marie Claire magazine. Oh, it sounds like they’re getting started. We’d better find our seats.
Heidi Klum: Welcome, everybody, to LiveJournal’s Runway Monday. As you know, in fashion, one day you’re in, and the next day, you’re out. Which has nothing to do with tonight. Before we get to the final collection created by Becks, her models wanted to remind you of some of her looks from this season.
Heidi Klum: I’m sure Becks will be delighted to learn that her work is being viewed by André Leon Talley, editor-at-large for American Vogue, Vogue’s editor-in-chief, Anna Wintour, and the magazine’s creative director, Grace Coddington.
Heidi Gunn: Oh, it’s my favorite of this season’s looks by Becks!
Heidi Klum: I thought I auf’d you last week. Thank you, Mattel Top Models, Christina Aguilera, and regular person who got a divorce and a new dress from Becks. You may leave the stage.
Heidi Klum: And now…
Heidi Klum: Tune in next week to see the thirteen looks Becks has been working on day and night. Lots of night.
Previous designs from this season:
6:12–The Art of Fashion
6:11–The Best of the Best
6:10–Around the World in Two Days
6:9–Sequins, Feathers and Fur, Oh My!
6:8–A Fashionable New Beginning
6:7–The Sky’s the Limit
6:6–Lights, Camera, Sew!
6:4–What a Woman Wants
6:3–Rumble on the Runway
6:2–We Expect Fashion
6:1–The Red Carpet