Something shocking for Mister Smarty Pants

This is for Mark G. Harris. Shocking, as promised.

In this photo, am I:

1. Dead, wrapped in plastic, like Laura Palmer?
2. Undergoing one of Timothy J. Lambert’s “Color Becky’s Roots” treatments?
3. In the home stretch of one of my infamous several-day migraine headaches?
4. Who cares; dang, she looks so natural…


50 thoughts on “Something shocking for Mister Smarty Pants”

      1. Are you Cathy or Patty?

        Cathy, who’s lived most everywhere,
        From Zanzibar to Barclay Square.

        Patty’s only seen the sights
        A girl can see from Brooklyn Heights

        Which one are you?

        1. Re: Maddie Ferguson!

          Oh, man, those frames! Poor Maddie. First those glasses, and then… but maybe I’d better not say since Mark’s only just now watching “Twin Peaks.”

  1. Laura! LAURA!!!

    (Courtesy of your friend and mine: ?, who has nothing to do with the above photo, except being wet on a yacht, I guess…. And who always sounds like he’s saying, “Lor-uh”.)

    1. I tried to watch that movie once. It scared me, so I went upstairs to my office (different house) and shut the door so I couldn’t hear it.

      Doesn’t my photo make you want to order a piece of pie and a damn fine cup of coffee at the Clover Grill?

      1. There ought to be a drag queen performance of Sleeping With The Enemy, or a musical of it, for people like you. You’re missing one of the funniest stories ever told.

        (Clover Grrrrrrrrrrrr-ill!)

  2. I think it is a costume where you were going as Laura Palmer.

    Mom, it’s so strange. I know I should be sad, and I am, part of me is. But it’s like… it’s like I’m having the most beautiful dream… and the most terrible nightmare, all at once

  3. Oh, no! You have migraines and for that long?! After seeing a segment on TV, I’m starting to think I have milder migraines, but only for a few hours or so, and usually I can rid of them by getting Excederine and taking a nap. Having a headache and writing to write, much less function in any sort of way is just horrible.

    1. They are not as bad or as frequent as they used to be, and for that, I’m very grateful. I’m also grateful for way a blend of Vicodin and Maximum Strength Midol makes me unconscious for several days.

      Unfortunately, migraines make me even viler to live with than usual, plus I can’t write. Anyone who has migraines or even prolonged headaches has my full compassion.

  4. Yeah, if there isn’t an ‘all of the above’ I’ll have to say #2. (Although I have seen dead people who looked better than you do in that pic. That blue tint doesn’t do a thing for you.) =)

    1. Man, I miss that show. Since I never got Condi to a slumber party, I think my next theme will have to be Twin Peaks.

      With pie.
      And coffee.
      No owls.

      I wish I’d made my eyebrows blue, like Laura’s.

          1. Though it’s as much about Angelo (note the spelling, Mark) Badalamenti than Julee Cruise. I love his music for “Inside the Actors Studio,” too.

            1. Well I don’t have his Cd’s … except for the once where he collaborated with Julee Cruise… which will be winging their way towards you tomorrow. Although my favorite “freak” show is Picket Fences … The Dancing Bandit, Frank the Potato Man, and the Serial Bather … The DVD set comes out soon, I will be all over it I promise you.

          2. I shared that soundtrack with a former roommate–he still probably has it. Man I loved that one too. I must go shopping online for it and see how long I will have to save up.

  5. No, no, no!

    It’s none of the above. It’s really Joan The Baptist getting ready for a lesbian production of Salomรฉ —
    And just when I was planning on A BBQ Frito airlift to Houston.

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